How to Be More Persuasive: 8 Tips To Influence Anyone

Jams. You give really good clap. Don’t let anyone tell you any different. Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching Marie TV, the place to be to have a business and life you love. And today we are switching it up a bit. Yes, we’re switching it up a bit. We are going to go behind the scenes in my mind. And I want to tell you a little bit about how I think and how I make decisions in a way that’s going to serve you, hopefully. So, a few months ago, I held a scholarship contest for my flagship business training program called B School. It was amazing. We had over 400 video entries for the scholarship contest and only 10 seats. Now it was really hard to choose those 10 winners, but I did. And one video in particular really captured my heart. A lot of people ask me how to make better videos or how to sell and market themselves more effectively.

And so many people think that you need a lot of fancy equipment, or you need to follow some word for word script in order to do it. But here’s the thing. You really don’t need a ton of fancy equipment and you don’t need some word for word scripts to do what you need to do and to really effectively persuade people. Let’s take a look at Tangela’s winning B-School video and then I’m going to tell you the eight things she did right that you can also do to be more authentically persuasive. Now heads up, the video is only a minute and 45 seconds and it is fully entertaining. Plus it ends with my newest favorite coercion technique. Watch this.

Hey Marie, I’m Tangela Ekhoff from Owasso, Oklahoma. I am a speaker. I am a writer, a published writer, whoop go me. I’m also looking to add personal coaching to my list of services. And I’m about to say something crazy. Brace yourself, don’t fall off your chair. I want to do my coaching on a pay what you can basis. I want to use everything that I’ve learned over the last few years. My husband and I have really gone through a hard time financially, we’ve been fighting our way out of poverty. And I think the people that I can help the most are the people who can least afford to pay for coaching. So I’ve been published on a national scale. I’ve been highlighted in national magazines. I just don’t know how to connect the dots to make some real money off of this. I’m not really concerned about making money off of the coaching.

That is where my ministry is. That is where my love is. That’s where my heart is. But I know that there have to be products or some sort of services that I can provide that I can actually make money on so that I can help people on a one-on-one basis. That’s where you come in. I need to be schooled girl. I need me some B-School. I know nothing. I know how to do the PR. I know how to talk the talk. I know how to live it.

I have no idea how to connect the dots. So I want to help people, help make a change in the world, help make a change in people’s lives. But I’d also like to pay my own bills while doing it. Novel concept, huh? Anyway, I think that B School will be a great opportunity for me and I would really love the chance to come. If not, I’m just going to dance. See I’m just every day I’m going to just like, well, I’m going to dance bomb you. See what, what? You don’t want that. Anyway, thanks Marie for the opportunity and thanks to all the other fantastic women with great ideas and great-

Now I know that video cut off a little bit, but isn’t she great? Here’s what she did right. Number one, she was considerate and followed directions. We told everyone that the videos had to be two minutes max and her video was a minute and 45 seconds. She saved me and my team some time. And I like that. When you’re selling or trying to persuade others, think about the other people. If you can make their lives easier, you’re going to go farther, faster. Number two, she’s enthusiastic and she’s confident. If you pay attention around seven seconds, she totally celebrates herself for being a published author and a speaker. Her enthusiasm is contagious. It’s awesome. She is so confident and clear about who she is. If you want to sell or persuade anyone about anything, you have got to be enthusiastic. Number three, she was specific and she’s clear.

Notice she told us exactly how she wants to change the world. There was nothing vague or unclear about it. When you want to persuade or sell someone something, you’ve got to make it clear that you’ve thought things through. With Tangela, what was awesome it was clear that she was off the cuff, but she wasn’t making this stuff up on the spot. Number four, she gave a reason why. Now whether she knew it or not, she used a proven persuasion technique that’s very, very effective. In Robert Cialdini’s book Influence, he says, “A well-known principle of human behavior says that when we ask someone to do a favor, we will be more successful if we provide a reason.” Here’s an example from that book, listen to this. A woman was standing in line for a copy machine and she said, “Excuse me, I have five pages. May I go ahead of you and make my copies?”

60% of people said, yes. Now listen to this. She tried asking a slightly different way. She gave a reason why. This time she said, “Excuse me, I have five pages. May I use the copy machine, because I’m in a rush?” And this time 94% of the people said, yes. That’s one and a half times as many. That is a lot of persuasion. Now there’s more to that study and you can check it out in Cialdini’s book. But the point here is that when you give people a reason why you’re asking for something, they’re more inclined to give it to you. And that’s what Tangela did. To paraphrase here, she says she needs B-School because she needs to connect the dots to create products to pay the bills so she can provide coaching for people that really need it but can’t afford it.

Number five, she has a totally open heart. When you watch this video, you can feel her heart popping right out from the video. She’s completely authentic. And she believes what she’s saying. If you want to authentically persuade people and authentically sell them, you need to lead with your heart and really believe what you’re saying. Number six, she was grateful and she acknowledged others. If you paid attention at the end, she didn’t just say, pick me, pick me. I should win.

She thanked me for the opportunity. And more importantly, she also acknowledged all the other women who submitted videos too. Now here’s the thing. I don’t know if she even knows she did this, but I really value my community. And what she did is she acknowledged my community, something very important to me. So I felt heard and taken care of by her expression of gratitude. Number seven, she threatened me. Let me tell you Tangela sealed the deal with her threat. And I do not respond well to threats unless it’s a dance bomb threat.

Finally, notice that Tangela did not have any special lighting or equipment or any fancy graphics. In fact, I think she was shooting in her bathroom. Now you all know I love me some fancy lighting and some graphics and some editing, but it is not necessary if you want to be authentically persuasive and get your message out there. Now, this video is quite different than what we normally do. So do you like it? Do you like hearing the behind the scenes in my mind and understanding how I make decisions? Do you want to dance bomb? I want to hear from you. Now remember, the most exciting things happen after the episode in the comments over at marieforleo.com. So come on over there and leave a comment or your dance bomb below.

Do you like this video? Well then subscribe to my channel and share it with your friends. And if you want even more great insights to improve your business and your life plus personal insights from me that I only share in email updates, you got to come to marieforleo.com and sign up and get on that newsletter list. Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams. The world needs that special gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching and I will see you next time on Marie TV.

Hey, RHH Live is coming up. Are you coming? Go to RHHLive.com for details. I held a scholarship, a scholarship contest. I held a scholarship contest. We are all of the devil, I’m of the devil. There is no bacon involved. It is a lettuce and tomato sandwich. What?