The #1 Thing That BLOCKS Your Creativity (AVOID This At All Costs!)

This is science-backed information. That’s what does it for me more than almost anything else. And you don’t have to go hard every single day, in fact, that’s what’s making you lose.

Marie:
Hey, it's Marie Forleo, and welcome to another episode of the Marie Forleo podcast and MarieTV, the place to be to create a business and life you freaking love. And today it is Q&A Tuesday. Today's question comes from Sam.

Sam:
My question is first, I wanna take you into that scenery of, imagine yourself starting your business, right? The kind of business you've been wanting to start for 10 years, at least 10 years. It takes a lot to start a business. But then you have the financial challenges and finally family. You also have the family. Yeah, raising kids, raising kids between two houses and you know making sure that they are well taken, not just well taken care of but also that you give them the best and while still having a full-time job. So my question is, in that scene, how would you still tap into your creative energy? Besides all the mindfulness practices and knowing the reason why you're doing that.

Marie:
For sure, for sure, for sure, for sure. So Sam, I love this question because many of us find us in a stage like this, in a scene like this. It could be when we're starting our business. And it could be when we're in some type of big life transition where all the things are happening at once. We've got either a full-time job or many, many projects. There's things happening with our family. We are responsible for other living beings and we have our big dream that we're finally able to put energy and time into. So a couple of things. One, I know that you're a Time Genius student. At least that's what I believe.

Sam:
You're right.

Marie:
I'm really happy that you're in that program because we'll get to that later, but just so you have that support. But in terms of keeping that creativity on fire, here's what has always helped me because I've been in your stage and I know I will be there. It might be a different flavor, but it happens to all of us, usually repeatedly, because life is very cyclical. So knowing the best time for you to create. So you may remember this from Time Genius, but I shared, I know for example, that my mornings, if I wake up early in the morning, even if I only have an hour or 30 minutes or 45 minutes to move a project ahead, I am absolutely 100% clear that when I wake up early, I can protect that little amount of time. Sure, the dog might need me, Josh might need me, there's other things happening, but I'm certain that for me, if I can carve out that time every day, I can feel a sense of progress. And then if the rest of the day is chaos and a circus, then at least I know that I've had that little pocket every single day to make progress. So I'm curious for you, everyone's wired differently, right? Some people really come alive in the afternoon, some people really come alive at night. There's no right or wrong answer, it's just really about self-awareness. So when is that zone for you, generally speaking?

Sam:
So I found out that usually it comes at night, that creative energy, it really comes at night. That's a challenge because I know you're also multi-passionate and I have also a lot of passions. So it can be also, I'm being pulled in different directions, but now I know what I want to do.

Marie:
Yes.

Sam:
What's challenging for me is that, you know, sometimes I cannot go to sleep. I can't go to sleep because I never did like... It seems like I'm not done with the day. There's always still more to add. And that's one of the challenge because, yeah, that affects the next day, right, in the morning and all that.

Marie:
Of course. Well, here's what I want to suggest, at least as an experiment, right? Again, you know this from Time Genius. We approach everything from being a creative scientist. So we don't have to know the answer, but we're exploring, we're experimenting to see what's going to work. I want you to imagine into what would be, whether it's an hour, two hours, 45 minutes, doesn't matter. point at night where you're like, this is my dedicated, non-negotiable time towards this business that you absolutely love.

And look, as a multi-passion entrepreneur, we also have to be big adults, meaning that if there are other things that are pulling on your attention, you might have to say no, not forever, but just temporarily while you can bring this beautiful business further into existence. So if there's anything else that's pulling on you, you have to protect it as sacred time, and you might have to have conversations with your family. You might have to say, You know, dad's gonna be here, this is a no disturb time, unless like the house is burning down, I'm not here.

Sam:
Yes.

Marie:
So it's about being able to set those boundaries and to ask for support and then of course, be willing to give that support back. So that's number one. Number two, I want you to set yourself up for success during that time. What do I mean? No interruptions from your phone. No interruptions possible in terms of text or email. If you need to use one of those website blockers, because as a multi-passionate person, as someone who has an ADHD brain, I know how tempting it can be, right?

Sam:
Yeah.

Marie:
Where you're like, oh, and then all of a sudden you're down a rabbit hole, and that 45 minutes or that hour that you had dedicated is now gone, and then you feel terrible. So ask yourself, like, what are the things that I could do to really set myself up for success at night? Do I need to leave the home? Do I need to go to like a cafe? Do I need to go to a different physical space so there's not as many distractions? Whatever it takes for you, Sam, I want you to give yourself permission to experiment and at least try. Most of us don't do that. And we try and muscle through a really distracting environment. Or you know what I mean? We're just like, oh, we give up and we just think that, oh, it's never gonna work for me. It's like, well, wait a minute. You're in control of a lot of that, it's number two.

And then number three, I wanna suggest this to you and it's not meditation. And it's not just mindfulness, but when I have a lot of intensity in my life and there's a lot of stress happening at once, vigorous exercise, it is one of the things that I use to keep myself in equilibrium. And you asked me about keeping that creativity open and that ability to stay focused open. That's what does it for me more than almost anything else. And this is not like airy fairy woo-foo, this is science-backed information where, when any of us are in fight or flight. When we are deeply entrenched in stress, we can't create. That's not how the body is built. When you're in stress, you focus and you narrow and you get really tense because that's what we're supposed to do in order to survive.

Sam:
Mm.

Marie:
But when you wanna create, when you wanna be open and fluid, when you wanna access the deepest recesses of what's possible, you can't be in fight or flight. And so vigorous exercise is one of the best ways to reset your nervous system, to open back up those creative channels. and to have the presence to be able to really kill it and crush it during that particular time and feel good to.

Sam:
Yeah, yeah. That last one is a big one. You know, for the past year and a half, I've done exercise every single day. But the thing is, and I would say the past few weeks, I found out that when I go to sleep too late, the next day, because I keep exercise for the end of the day, and that's something that I'm trying to change. I'm trying to start the day with that.

Marie:
Yes.

Sam:
Because I keep it to the end, then what happens...

Marie:
And then you're all lit up!

Sam:
What happens, yeah exactly. And what happens also is that it's not as vigorous, right? It's just like,

Marie:
Yes.

Sam:
I want to get my exercise done because I told myself back then that I was gonna do it every day, but it's not as beneficial as if I was giving it my all and really like pushing it, right?

Marie:
That's right, so you've got the perfect experiment to set out with, you've got the perfect experiment to set out with, which is like, oh, okay, exercise at night isn't really working for me because I can't really go as vigorously as I'd want

Sam:
Yeah.

Marie:
and it has this detrimental effect of like, I'm also wired and then I stay up way too late. So it's like, we've got some really good things to experiment with you. the exercise in the morning to do something like great music, everything, and not even worried about the physical benefits per se, but it's like the physiological, spiritual mental benefits are even more important. So that's number one. And then number two, really experimenting with creating this sacred non-negotiable time for yourself at night and setting yourself up to win with it might take a few different tries, right? You might not get it right the first time out of the gate. I certainly don't.

Sam:
Yeah.

Marie:
But the experimentation and you have all the tools in Time Genius, I promise you, it will help you make it through this period, which will not last forever. And not only have your creativity be really open, but for you to be really good and be present with your kids and feel great about your life while it's very, very full.

Sam:
Yeah, that's what I'm looking for. I love what you said about being a creative artist. Was that the word you used? Creative artist, right?

Marie:
Yes, absolutely.

Sam:
Yeah.

Marie:
It's like you're a time artist, you know, and your life is this magnificent masterpiece that you get to create. You know, the canvas is yours, the paint is yours, the paintbrushes are yours, and you don't have to get it perfect. But having that viewpoint that, oh, I get to try and experiment all these different things. And even if the world, you know, people I know wake up and they're super creative in the morning, My style is at night, but you know what I need to do in the morning? I need to do my exercise in the morning. And here's the other thing too. I want to say this to you and I don't know if it'll resonate or it might be for someone else that's watching this episode of you and I talking,

Sam:
Yeah, definitely.

Marie:
but there have been times in my life, you know, I am such a champion of consistency. It's super, super important. And, um, that is one of the secrets to success in everything. And when it comes to working out for some of us, especially when we've got a lot going on, There is tremendous value in rest days too. The ability for your body to just rest. The ability for your muscles to have a moment to do what they need to do so that you can actually grow stronger. And I remember I was paying attention to some articles that were about MMA fighters who had lost their edge. Folks who were like at the top of their game and winning everything, and then all of a sudden they started to lose, right? Started just getting knocked out. And they really like messed with their minds and they went to better performance coaches. And the performance coach said, the reason that you're losing, you're over training.

Sam:
Yeah.

Marie:
You're pushing yourself too hard. You don't understand. You don't have to go hard every single day. In fact, that's what's making you lose. And it totally messed with the guy's mind because again, like many of us, it's like, if you don't go hard every day, you know what I mean? You're not committed.

Marie:
And I've certainly been there too. And so there's times in our life where it's like, just to have that as a possibility for you to go, oh, can I really set up my workouts where there are rest days? because so much happens, not even physiologically, but mentally and emotionally, to give ourselves a little bit of a chance to kind of step back, to have things marinate, to have our unconscious do its work, and to have our body rest and heal so that we can go back and really hit it hard. So, that's helpful for you, awesome. If not, don't worry about it.

Sam:
Yeah, definitely. It's directed to me. I know a lot of people can resonate with. I think, you know, some people are watching right now and they might be laughing because they know me. And also they know themselves, you know, and I

Marie:
Yes.

Sam:
think a lot of people suffer from that. I'm one of them. And so I want to ask you, this is something like, it's not the first time that I hear that, you know, like, and that it's something like we know a lot of things. And a lot of times we don't implement what we know, right?

Marie:
Totally. That's us human beings,all of us.

Sam:
so what would you say to me and also to the people that know that advice, they need the rest because if not, at some point they're going to hit a wall, right? What would you say to

Marie:
That's correct.

Sam:
us that know that but we just keep going because we're so passionate and we can't stop, you know?

Marie:
And we're so conditioned, let's face it, we're conditioned and we've been

Sam:
Yeah.

Marie:
Conditioned to somewhat punish ourselves. No pain, no gain.

Sam:
Exactly.

Marie:
I grew up with a lot of that messaging, you know what I mean? And again, everything has its place, but at different stages and seasons of life, it's important to question our conditioning. So here's what I would say to you and to anyone again, and I'm speaking to the choir here because I understand that feeling very well and I've been at many stages of life like, no, I cannot miss a workout, I cannot miss a workout, and then I punish myself and creates injury and stuff like that. So... Here's a great quote, it's not my quote, but I heard it and it really made a difference for me. So, rest is not the reward for high performance, it's the prerequisite to high performance.

Sam:
Mm. Yeah.

Marie:
And I was like, boom. Because I have certainly used rest in the past as a reward, like, oh, when I get through this, then I'll be able to rest for a minute. You know, if I push a little bit harder, then I'll be able to take five minutes and just lay down. And it's like, no, you can actually look up some of the studies too, if you Google about, again, some fighters and some athletes, quite frankly, that started to lose their edge, and it was because it was over-training. So it's not just like a sound good or feel good thing, there's actually some solid science to back it up.

Sam:
Yeah. When I was in high school, I was playing basketball in a sports study program. And so I've experienced that, you know, like at the end of a tournament, we've been, you know, the whole weekend we've been playing ball. And then at the end, it's just we need rest, right? Because the last game is not always, except if you're in the finals, usually it's not the one that, you know, we have the most energy, right? And we need that to build our business and to take care of our families as well.

Marie:
That's right. Sam, you're awesome. Thank you so much for a beautiful question. I hope that this was helpful, and I hope you keep me posted on your creative experiment being the artist of your life. We'll be here to support you.

Sam:
Yes, thank you so much. It was a pleasure and I really appreciate, that was a blessing.

Marie:
Thank you, Sam.

Marie:
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