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Sharing who you are, what you believe, and why you’re in business is vitally important. No doubt about it.
But can being “the real you” alienate potential customers?
For example, does being openly gay turn off prospective fans who are outside of the the LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) community?
Today’s Q&A video touches on this important topic in modern business: how to balance being the real you without alienating would-be customers.
In this video, we’ll talk about the “spotlight” concept that helps you stay focused on what’s truly important in your business, without hiding any part of who you are.
But first, a warning.
In this video, you’ll see me sing and dance. While some may call me a fancy dancer, I’m not much of a singer.
You were warned.
listen to this episode on the marie forleo podcast
Subscribe to The Marie Forleo Podcast
View Transcript
What up everybody? It’s Q & A Tuesday time!
Q: Today’s question is from Sarah and Sarah writes: “Hi, Marie. You’re so charming, sassy and to the point practical Love it and love you!” Thank you, Sarah! “My question, my partner and I are writing a book and building a website that acknowledges us as openly gay women. As two out-gay women who work in social media and marketing, we’ve both become pretty visible within our communities and we’ve no problem with being known as such. Still we don’t want to alienate our potential clients and fans who may not be LGBT. Do you have any advice on how to approach this?”
What a juicy question, Sarah! Thank you so much for asking it. And, Sarah is writing us from queerveganfood.com. Just so you know.
A: Here’s the deal, Sarah. It does not matter whether you’re gay or you’re straight or you’re bi-sexual or tri-sexual or yellow or purple or pink or brown, or whatever. You’re a rainbow or you’re a Smurf. You are perfect exactly as you are. I’m sure you know that already but just so everybody knows you can be anything you want to be in this world including in your business.
As Ms. Lady Gaga says, “Baby, you were born this way!” “Ooh, there ain’t no other way. Baby, I was born this way. Baby, I was born this way. Born this way! I’m on the right track, baby. I was born this way!”
Sarah, what is the primary aim of your business? I really want you to ask yourself this question, is it about being LGBT or is it about helping people solve health issues through veganism? In business it’s like there’s a spotlight and you either shine that spotlight on you. Everything about you and what you believe or you take that spotlight and shine it on your customer. Her needs, her problems, her frustrations, and more specifically, on how you help her solve her biggest problems and reach her dreams.
You see Sarah, most people who are selling information and advice are failing because they have this spotlight on themselves rather than on the problems and needs of their customers. So here’s what I want you to do, Sarah. First, I want you to get clear on the primary aim of your business; what exactly are you selling? What problems are you solving for your customers? I want you to remember to shine the spotlight on them, not on you.
Next, you’ve got to get clear on exactly who you are selling it to. The more specific you can get about your market, the easier it’s going to be not only to make money but to actually help people change their lives. Finally, you need to get over wanting everybody to like you. Get over even worrying about whether or not you’re alienating people. Why? Because not everybody’s going to like you and you are going to alienate some people. It’s the nature of business.
We all do it. I alienate people all the time. Think about it. I use naughty language in my videos, slightly inappropriate advice from time to time. We talk about sex, we talk about business, bop, baa, bop, baa. There’s people that just don’t like me. I don’t care because they’re not my people. The goal of your business is to solve problems for your ideal clients. Those are the people that you want to talk to and those are the people who are really going to hear what you have to say.
Before we wrap this up, there’s one more example that I want to share. You know and I was thinking about your question, the first person that came to my mind was Ms. Ellen DeGeneres. She is amazing! She’s one of my favorite talk show hosts. Here’s the thing about Ellen, yes she is openly gay. Just like you are and yes, she promotes veganism just like you do. But she doesn’t lead with those things. Ellen is one of the most talented entertainers of our age right now.
She’s all about serving her audience, being the best comic that she can be. Having an amazing show that inspires and uplifts people, and makes them laugh. So while she’s gay and while she’s passionate about veganism and passionate about breast cancer, and also about animals. She has those things in the background. She doesn’t hide them but it’s not the forefront of her business.
Sarah that was today’s A to your Q! Hope you enjoyed it. And if for anyone watching, if you like this video. You found value from it, please like it, share it with your friends on social media. And if you’re not yet on the newsletter list and you want to see new videos each and every week. Come on over to marieforleo.com, jump on the newsletter list and you will get a little email from me that’s not only entertaining but also useful. Thank you so much for watching and I’ll catch you next time!
Hey, RHH LI.VE is coming up! Are you coming? Go to rhhlive.com for details.
“On the right track baby! I was born this way!” (Video guy: Alright, I got it. It looked great the first take then I stopped paying attention to you guys because Emily was doing the robot. And so…”)
Since this is quite a juicy topic, here’s a bit more to chew on that I just couldn’t squeeze into this five minute video.
1. Get clear on the primary aim of your business.
What exact problems and frustrations are you solving for customers? What concrete results are you helping your clients get? What exactly are people handing you money for?
Sarah’s business, Queer Vegan Food, is about featuring, as she calls it, weird vegan recipes you won’t find on other blogs.
She focuses on unique recipes to expand vegan culinary beyond traditional vegan cuisine which tends to imitate the non-vegan world (think fake meat, vegan ice cream, etc.).
Sarah’s promoting a healthy, plant-based lifestyle that prevents cruelty towards animals and helps the planet. And, she’s got a fantastic name with Queer Vegan Food.
But remember, the primary focus of her business is on recipes and veganism, not on being LGBT.
Her potential clients and fans are coming to her for unique vegan recipes that you can’t find anywhere else.
2. Get clear on who you are selling to.
I’d say Sarah’s ideal customer is someone who is eager to adopt a more healthy lifestyle and who is passionate about veganism.
They could be eager to jump into the vegan world, or they may already be vegan and want more unique, healthy and non-imitation type recipes.
While I’m sure she has many fans in the LGBT community, she’ll have loads and loads of heterosexual fans too.
But with a name like Queer Vegan Food (which is brilliant because it’s arresting, fun, controversial, descriptive and uber memorable), let’s be real here.
Of course she’s going to alienate people… people who are not open to the vegan or LGBT lifestyle!
And those folks, by definition, are not going to mesh well with Sarah anyway. They have different core values and beliefs.
Being honest about this fact allows Sarah to focus on exactly who she wants to reach and not get hung up worrying about “alienating” those who aren’t a good fit for her business anyway.
3. Get over wanting everyone to like you.
This is essential for all of us to remember if we want to be happy and successful.
Not everyone will not like you. And all potential customers are not your customer.
The faster you get over wanting everyone to like you, the greater difference you will make to those who do.
As the saying goes, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
Here’s what I’d like you to do next.
In the comments below, tell me how you can apply the “spotlight” concept in your business.
Remember, it’s important to share your beliefs and values. And your customer should get the majority of the spotlight.
Of course, if you have anything else to add on this topic (not my singing :)), I’d love to hear it.
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