What To Do When People Do You Wrong

What up! What up! What up! It's Marie here for another Q & A Tuesday! Yeah baby! Okay, so before we even get into a Q & A Tuesday, chick moment! I'm super psyched about these jeans. Check these babies out! Bell-bottoms! You see they're like really good butt-huggers but not too good where there's no, like there's no camel toe. There's no...yeah, anyway.

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Q: Here's the question for today, “What is the best way to deal with people who have done us wrong knowingly sometime in the past and the memory and desire to avenge which continues to be a part of our life? Forgiving is not easy. Wishing you all the very best! You're an amazing person and a wonderful teacher. You simply rock! Best regards, Ari.”

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A: Thanks Ari, that's a really great question because it covers a super tough subject, forgiveness. So here's what I have to say on the subject of forgiveness, we all make mistakes. Right? I've made a ton of mistakes in my life that I absolutely feel terrible about, have regretted have done things to people that I love that I later look back and go, "What the hell was I thinking?" And, I would encourage you to take a look at your own life and see what you've done.

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I mean, really take a moment here and think about the course of your life and how you may have done things knowingly or unknowingly that have hurt people that you love. In my experience when I've done crappy things, I am begging for forgiveness. I mean, I know I didn't mean them. I'm wishing. I'm apologizing. I'm doing everything possible in the hopes that the people that I love will find some place in their heart to forgive me. Why? Because I love that. Because I want to be connected. Because I'm human and I sometimes mistakes and I want a second chance.

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So while it is a very difficult thing to do, in my experience forgiveness is the skills set that allows you to reach your full potential. It's what basically prevents you from putting up that wall. It allows you to live and to love fully with your heart. It's crucial if you want to have an amazing life and the first step is to really kind of take it away from what someone has done to you, and really take a look at your own life.

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What have you done to other people and what have people forgiven you for and can you have that same level of compassion for whoever it is that you perceive has done you wrong? So the other night, Josh and I went to see a screening of an amazing film called Kinyarwanda. It won a bunch of awards at Sundance and I don't think it has distribution yet. But we'll pop up a little something over here, over here so you can see the website (kinyarwandamovie.com) and this amazing film in the trailer.

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Anyway, it's about some stories that have been untold about the genocide that happened in Rwanda in 1994. Incredible, incredible movie! Climaxes at the end where there this one young woman, her name is Joan, comes face-to-face with the man who brutally murdered her parent And, in front of the entire village, she stands up and he stands up, and the elders of the village asks, "Joan, will you forgive him?"

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She is standing there looking at the guy who murdered her parents and you know, the audience like I was on the edge of my seat and I was about to cry. And you know, she paused and she looked within her heart, and she said "yes." And, it was this incredible act of courage and beauty and love, and I just had so much admiration for her even though it's a feature film. It's based on true stories.

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So it was just incredible to see this outlandishly, gorgeous, courageous act of forgiveness happen in the most horrific situation. So while I don't know what happened in your life and you know, I can't imagine what occurred. My guess that it's not as bad as something like that and if it is or even worse; if one woman could find it in her heart to forgive, maybe you can as well.

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Okay, so that's all great. We've talked about the philosophy, now let's land the plane. Here are three really practical takeaways to help embed the skill set of forgiveness in your own life. One of the things that I do when I find myself really angry, really upset, really hurt is I ask myself this single question, what would love do? When I reframe my situation and really ask, what would love do, it informs my choices from a much more beautiful, compassionate, amazing place that I want to live from. Super simple! Easy to do!

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Number two is another question that I find really useful, is what I'm doing or thinking right now going to bring me or those around me happiness? If not, just don't do it! And the third and final thing is a beautiful quote by Buddha and Buddha says, "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else: you are the one who gets burned." Booyah, Buddha!

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So that was some heavy stuff, you all! Heavy stuff for a Q & A Tuesday but I think it was quite successful! What do you think? If you like it, like it! You can leave a comment below, share it with your friends. And, if you want more great stuff like this, and booyah Buddhas and you know. I don't know any kind of crazy "bleep" we can come up with. Come to marieforleo.com, jump on the newsletter, and that's all we got. I'll see you next time! Thanks as always for watching!