The #1 Reason You Don’t Have What You Want — YET

Marie Forleo:

How many times have you had a goal or a dream or an aspiration — and you WENT for it…but it didn’t work out? You got rejected, or you weren’t picked, or you got turned down, or the project crashed and burned. And your grand plan was more like a grand, embarrassing flop.

Anybody? Yeah. me too.

If you’re like most of us, that experience left you feeling like  failure, or like you’re not good enough or maybe it made you doubt yourself.. And maybe… you started to tell yourself a story, which started to turn into a belief… that you don’t have what it TAKES to reach your dreams.

You know what I say to that?

Uh-uh honey. That story is NOT going to stand. Not on my watch. Because guess what?

Today you and I, we’re going to dig into the #1 Reason Most of Us Don’t Reach Our Dreams — AND I’m going to show you how to turn that beat around, pronto.

In fact, I’m going to give you a 3 simple step system that you can start using TUUUH-DAY, to wipe the slate clean, get yourself fired up, and on track so you can start achieving more of what REALLY matters to you, more consistently than you ever thought possible.

Hey, I’m Marie Forleo and WELCOME to another episode of The Marie Forleo Podcast and MarieTV - the place to be to create a business and life that you genuinely love.

And by the way, you do not HAVE to be an entrepreneur to get benefit here. So Whether you’re a student, an artist, an employee, or a freelancer — …if you want to thrive in today’s world and be HAPPY, you need to be THE BOSS of your livelihood and your LIFE. Cuz guess what? ain’t nobody else gonna do it for you.

If you’re a new listener  — I’m so glad you're here. We’ve got the most BEAUTIFUL folks from 195 countries, who just like you and me… are smart and hardworking and and creative, and want to learn how to live into their HIGHEST potential and use their gifts to make a difference and have a DAMN good time along the way. So if that sounds like you — you’re in the RIGHT place.

So today I’m going to share the #1 Reason Most People Do not Reach Their Goals — And, What You Can Do right now To Fix it.

I live in the West Village in New York City and I friggen LOVE my neighborhood. A few weeks ago, Josh and I were getting ready to go on a road trip and didn’t have time to cook. So I said, “Hey babe, let’s go to the Dig on Bleecker Street – they’ve got great veggies, they really care about their sourcing and it’s super cute in there.”

So we head over and as usual, the food was really fantastic! But I gotta tell you… the roasted cauliflower was like OUT  of this damn world. I’m not kidding… it was some of the BEST roasted cauliflower I’ve EVER had in my life, and I’ve had a lot of cauliflower. It was like life-changing roasted cauliflower.  

So on the way out, I go up to the kitchen and I was like, “Ya’ll…who is responsible for this magic cauliflower. I mean, the whole meal was fabulous, but that cauliflower….like what’s going on back there? What’s the magic?”

And I watched as all the kitchen staff started smiling and started laughing and they started pointing over to one guy and said, “It’s him!” And so, I started talking to his guy. I learned his name is Chef Brandon. We told him how much we love their food, how much we appreciate the obvious care and heart that goes into what they’re cooking…what a great job all their doing, thank you, and that we’ll be back soon.”

So a few weeks later, I get a Dig craving, we’re in there AGAIN. And Chef Brandon is there, and he comes by while we’re eating and he says, “Hey, I just want to thank you for being so enthusiastic about the cauliflower, and actually telling our team.” He said, “Ya’ll have no idea how much that means to us. Nobody ever gives us that kind of energy and feedback, and we really appreciate it.”

And I was like, “Of COURSE, dude! Like, you guys are working so hard - you deserve all the praise and all the good energy in the world.”

And so then I asked him, I was like, “Hey Chef - what’s your story? How long have you worked here? Have you always dreamed of being a chef?”

And he said, “Yes. I love cooking and this is my dream. Actually, I wanted to work here for a long time. But when I first came for an interview for a job a few years back, they turned me down. They said no, they rejected me. And you want to know why?”

I said, “yeah, tell me why.”

And he said, “Because the truth is… if I’m being really honest — at that point in my life, I was just looking for a paycheck. I wanted someplace that I could show up…and put in my hours make money and leave. I didn’t actually have the heart or the passion that’s a REQUIREMENT at this company. That rejection, that was a big wake-up call. And it was a real turning point in my life.”

And I said, “Wow… so what did you do next?”

And Chef said, “I realized that I need to do some work on myself. I need to find a way to ignite that passion inside me. So I went out and I just got jobs in a bunch of different kitchens all around the city – anywhere that would take me. And I started learning new tools and new techniques. And I started just getting better and better, and I started showing up differently. And eventually after a few years, BOOM. All this PASSION just ignited inside of me. And once I felt that, I actually came back to Dig and I interviewed again. But this time I was a completely different man. They could see it. They could feel it. And they hired me. And now I’m in charge of this whole location, I’m in charge of this team, I have a say in how things go. Honestly it’s a dream come true and it’s amazing.”

So in just a minute, I’m going to give you the 3 step-framework to reach YOUR dreams that was actually hidden inside Chef Brandon’s story…

But first, let me ask you this…

How many times have you had a goal or a dream that you went for – but it DIDN’T work out… and then you just gave up??

How many times have you taken that rejection, or that failure and let it poison your heart and become this disempowering story that’s LIMITING maybe who you are right now and who you can be.
If that’s ever happened — we’re going to take care of that together RIGHT now. I want you to go get your pen, go get your journal and you’re gonna take notes because this 3 step framework WILL help you.

Alright, so here we go:

Step number 1: You gotta Tell the TRUTH. Ask yourself: Do you STILL want to achieve this dream or this goal or this aspiration? Now look, There’s no right or wrong answer here, right, there’s no judgment. if that answer is no, that’s actually a good thing to know, you should celebrate that. And it’s perfectly normal,it’s natural, it’s healthy to DROP goals and dreams that you’re either over or you’ve just outgrown. But you gotta be HONEST with yourself about this. Chef Brandon, he KNEW his dream was still VIABLE, even after he got turned down. So ask yourself..Is this goal, is this dream TRULY still  important in your heart? Does it deserve your time, your attention, your life energy? And if you don’t know how to answer that: Get quiet. Look inside. I promise you, if you LISTEN the answer is in there. What I want to make sure that you hear is this: Do NOT let the hurt and disappointment do not let the EGO bruises from your past hold you back from the bigger future you deserve.

Now let’s say you DO still want this dream. Let’s say It’s a yes. If it’s a yes, Then we move onto step 2…

So Step 2: is I want you Make a list. Of what? I want you to make a list Of any area you ALREADY know that you can improve. Where do you know you’re missing the mark? Tell the truth about it! Where are you doing the least, but expecting the most? Where are you inconsistent? Where are you just phoning it in? What aspects of your behavior honestly need an upgrade? What capabilities do you need to develop? For all of us – there’s ALWAYS a gap (for me too!) between our ambitions — our goals and dreams — and our abilities –meaning, the current things that we’re capable of. And we need to get honest about that gap. And being honest about that, It doesn’t make us bad it doesn’t make us weak it doesn’t mean that we’re beating our selves up…identifying that gap and then closing it..that’s actually how we grow!

Look, I wanna be real with you about something. In any area of my life where I’m not reaching certain goals YET (key word! YET) — I know exactly why. It’s not rocket science. It’s not a mystery to me. There are particular places where I’m not devoting the time, or the energy or the work necessary to GROW that specific thing. I’m super sober to that fact. I also don’t beat myself up about it because I know that everything can’t be a priority all at the same time.  So I pick and choose the main projects that I work on, and then all my other ideas, all my other projects, all my other goals, they can hang out on the side burner just for a little bit, and then eventually it’ll be their time in the sun.

So here’s what I need you to do: I need you to get honest with yourself, right? Where specifically do you know you need to grow? What aspects of your behavior or your performance honestly need to improve in order for you to reach your goal? I want you to just Write down the first things that come to mind.

Let me make this clear. Do NOT beat yourself up. But don’t let yourself off the hook either. Because you have so much, so much untapped greatness within you. And the only one who can EVER close the gap between your ambition and your ability, is you.

And Then finally, Step number 3, something super scientific: it’s called JDI. Have you heard of it? It stands for JUST DO IT. You are going to NIKE your way to that damn dream. And you’re going to get there, I promise you. I want you to know. When a dream is so IMPORTANT to your heart, it’s so important to your soul, you will do whatever it takes, you’ll do whatever it takes to get there. And It doesn’t have to be perfect action, and it doesn’t have to have the perfect plan to back it up, You just gotta get those buns moving, man. Remember what Chef Brandon did? He just went out there and started getting jobs in all these different kitchens so he could learn new skills and get around new people and do whatever it took to start developing that passion that he knew he was lacking. And he MADE it happen.

Just like I KNOW you can make it happen, if you truly and genuinely want that dream in your heart.

And look, there’s always going to be goals and dreams that you set for yourself that you’re not gonna hit the first time out of the gate. Maybe not even the second or third or the fourth. That’s true for everybody. That’s true for me. That’s true for you. That’s true for everyone on planet earth.

So it really begs the question, we’ve gotta ask ourselves: now what? If disappointments, flops and failures are guaranteed literally for all of us — then what do we want to do now

And that is the beauty of these strategies. So Step 1: You gotta Tell the truth and be honest. Do you still want this dream? Do you still want to go for it? If that answer is yes, you move on to Step 2: You want to Make a list of all the areas you already KNOW in your heart you can improve — so where do you need better skills, where do you need to turn up your passion, where can you up your game? And then step 3 - JDI, just do it. Get moving and don’t stop until that dream becomes your reality. Because guess what? you deserve it.

And by the way, if you find yourself in my amazing city, in my amazing neighborhood of the west village, you need to go get a great meal over at Dig. This is not an ad, there’s no sponsorship — I just love my neighborhood so much and I love le seeing good businesses and good people thrive. So make sure you try the cauliflower, let me know if you love it as much as I do. You’re welcome.

Until next time, stay on your game and keep going for your big dreams, because guess what: the world really does need that very special gift that only you have.

I believe in you. I love you. I’ll catch you next time.

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