Afraid of Making the Wrong Choice? 3 Heart-Centered Ways to Trust Your Gut

Hey it's Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business in life you love and this I this is the MarieTV Call-In Show. And this is Mr. Zack Bliss.

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Hi.

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So, today we are going to take some calls and do our very best to help beautiful members of our audience find some insight and guidance to move ahead. Let's go.

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Hello.

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Hi, is this Susan?

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Yes it is.

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It's Marie Forleo.

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Hi Susan.

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Hooray.

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Yay. So, you're on MarieTV. Zach's with me and so is Team Forleo. We are so excited to connect with you today.

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Oh my goodness, wow.

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So, let us know your question and we will do our very best to support you.

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Okay. I just turned 50 and I have been married for pretty well 35 years and I'm on my own for the very first time. So, I am just contemplating careers and my two loves of life are horticulture and medicine. And I'm trying to connect with my inner voice but I'm just having a real heck of a time doing that right now.

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Yeah.

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So, I just would like Marie's help.

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Absolutely. Well first of all we are so excited. I'm so excited about this particular question because I think for many of us especially when you are living life and you have this particular chapter and it was long and you were doing things in certain patterns and then all of a sudden things are fresh and new it can feel difficult to hear that inner voice. So, I'm so thrilled that you are asking this question because you're giving voice to something that I know many many women and men can struggle with. So, a couple of things I want to let you know that all of us can doubt our age at any time. So, it's not just about you turning 50, which by the way congratulations. Young folks in our teens, in our twenties, thirties, forties, fifties, sixties, seventies, eighties, I think that self-doubt is really a natural part of who we all are and it helps us ask those important questions so we can find that clarity.

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So, just one note about that. And then, I also want to say I'm really excited because 50 right now you're barely even at the midpoint, mama. You have got so much exciting life in front of you, really. So, I want you to take that in because it's true. Lifespans are expanding, we're living longer, we're living healthier, we have so many more things that we can do in this one big glorious life. So, I want you to get excited because I know a lot of women in your age range and older and many of them tell me, "Oh my goodness it just keeps getting better and better." So, I just want to set that frame for you as well that it's not on the downhill this is on the uphill. You're still on your way up.

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And the third thing I want to share with you, I don't know if you saw it this episode, but after we get off this call please do me a favor. I want you to Google search MarieTV plus late bloomers. We have this incredible episode where we've profiled these 10 badass women who started new careers, new passions later in life most of them over 60, some in their sixties, seventies, eighties, and even above that. And I think you're going to find not only a lot of inspiration there but a lot of hope and perhaps even some ideas. So, that's that. But I know your question was around how to find your inner voice and I want to give you a couple of exercises that I think will help. One, my dear, how physically active are you right now? Would you say that you work out every single day? Is it once a week? Talk to us about how much physical activity you tend to do at this stage?

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Well, that's something I'm working on right now because in the past four years I've had my struggles with my health and I'm at that point, too, where I'm regaining it and trying to get physical but it's one of those things that just making that first step is so difficult. And even though I know what importance it holds in all aspects even in my mental health. It's still getting there it's difficult.

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Yeah. So, I'm going to invite you to put that as a higher priority and I particularly love dance. I feel like when I dance, and it can be any music that you love. It doesn't have to be a specific style of dance. You don't have to follow choreography, you can just move your body. Even if you put on two to three of your favorite songs in your house and you just let yourself move around with absolutely no self-consciousness, no awareness of how you look, just enjoying the music and enjoying movement. The reason why I'm suggesting this for you is because I find that many of us are cut off from a lot of the wisdom that lives in our bodies and when we move we get that emotion in motion and all of a sudden a huge channel opens up to our intuition, to creative ideas, to all types of insights that I have found cannot be accessed any other way, not through meditation, not through talking, not through writing, not through anything else.

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So, I would invite you, my love, if one of your goals is to hear more clearly your inner voice and your heart's desire is to make it a priority to move. That could even mean walking outside in nature. If you like working out at home it could be just following free videos on YouTube. There's also wonderful apps. There's so many different possibilities, but for me movement is a must. It is a must. To hear that calling in your heart, to be able to feel what this next chapter is going to be for you, and then also to have the energy and the excitement to move towards it. So, that's piece number one.

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Okay.

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The second piece and it's cool too because you're just using this incredible asset that you already have which is this vessel called you're body. The second little exercise I want you to try is with a journal and with writing because I find that that's another vehicle to hear what your soul is calling for. And the sentence stem I'm going to give you is something that we also did a MarieTV about and it's something that we use in our company and that I use when I set my own goals and when I want to reach higher. The sentence stem is this. “Wouldn't it be cool if…” So, for you Susan, "Wouldn't it be cool if I got to spend some time studying medicine even if it was five hours a week?” “Wouldn't it be cool if I got to visit X, Y, and Z?" And again you can just keep finishing that sentence in your journal on a piece of paper. And anything that pops up into your mind or heart even if it sounds outrageous, even if it sounds ridiculous, even it it sounds like something you have no idea how you would make that come to life, please write it down.

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For so many of us especially women our voices both exterior voices and our inner voices have been silenced for so long. So it takes some unearthing to be able to hear it and one of the best ways to do that is to just let yourself go nuts on that page, to let yourself dream wildly, to explore all different kinds of possibilities, and then to start to feel from the inside out which ones give you goosebumps, which ones go, "Oh I am surprised that came out. And you know what? I'm going to want play there. I might want to go take that class, or make that phone call, or look up something on the internet and see how I can bring that dream to life." So, between movement, and writing, and watching that awesome MarieTV episode about late bloomers I think that you are going to give yourself a real concrete next step to getting back in touch with that inner voice that's already in there that his longing to be heard.

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I keep having arguments with it is what it is.

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Oh, I like it.

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Yeah.

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Well, you know what those arguments are? Social conditioning.

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Okay.

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All of the years, all of the voices both internal and external that told you that you can't, that told you that women should be a particular way, that told you you're not good enough, or smart enough, or talented enough, or capable enough, or whatever enough to have this dream of yours. And so…

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I lived it.

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Yes, that's right. So, my darling, this is your opportunity to get back in touch with the real you that has always been there and to break through every internal and external voice that has said no. This is your chance to say yes to you. This is what this next chapter of your life can be and you have all of the tools you need right now to bring it to life.

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Yeah.

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You are just reaffirming everything that I've been doing for the last couple of weeks, actually. It's just too ironic. Synchronicity I think.

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Yes.

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Yeah. I've been actually journaling for the last two weeks, something that I've never done in my life. So, yeah that's something new for me and it's really bringing me some insight as well. And also, I started walking and yeah I've lost 20 pounds so far.

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Come on, mama. You're getting some confetti throws and you're getting some claps from all of the team. I'll add one more piece onto this.

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Okay.

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Please keep paying attention to what sounds really fun and what feels really joyful to you, even if it seems frivolous. Even if you find yourself walking and you come across a little store and it's a five-and-dime and you go in there and you're like, "Oh wow these stickers, oh my goodness these stickers. I don't know why but I'm going to pick up these stickers because they look like fun and they bring my heart a smile." Or you walk down and you see a restaurant that you've never gone in before and something pulls you in there and you just want to have a little cup of soup because it feels like it'll warm your soul. Pay attention to what draws you to it because I've found that there are certain things that we're attracted to that may not fit our picture of who we are or what we should like but those things that we're drawn to are tied to our deeper purpose. And that's the adventure that you're on right now of learning how to reconnect with your desire and to activate and live through that. So, I'm really excited for you my love.

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She sounds so open to all of the possibilities.

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Yes, absolutely.

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Yeah, and I love that you're going to be dancing in your apartment.

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Yeah.

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I think that's good. I mean that to me grounds me all the time when I... And I get in my head too and when I just start dancing it's almost like a fuck you to all of the negative voices out there. It's just like I'm dancing just to go to hell with them you know.

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Yeah, no, I like it.

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Yeah.

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Susan, are you willing to play?

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Oh absolutely and I don't have to set foot into a gym, hey, I'm all for it.

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Yes, there are so many different ways to get that beautiful body of yours moving, and moving, and moving without necessarily touching a gym. So, do me a favor, my love. Please keep us posted. I hope that this was helpful for you. Thank you so much. Know that you have the entire team here at our company and also so many people in the audience cheering you on. We believe in you and we're really excited for this next chapter.

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Thank you so much, Marie.

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Thank you.

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Thank you. Bye, my love.

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Bye bye.

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Hello?

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Hi, is this Sophie?

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Oh my goodness, yes. Is that Marie?

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Yes, it is, my love. You're here with myself, with Zach, and with the entire MarieTV crew. How are you?

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Stop it. Stop it. Oh my gosh, I'm so good. I'm in London right now. I'm in my flat with my cat and we've been waiting to see if you were going to call and I just like you forget about it and get on with what you need to get on with. That is literally when you just called.

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Well, I love it and I love it that you're in London on your flat with your cat, this is just great and I need to come back to London. It's such a beautiful city. So, for now though, we are here to just be of service to you. So, tell us about what's happening and we will do our very best to offer some insight and some guidance.

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Okay, amazing. Well, the question that I submitted was all about how to bring together the different parts of my life. I'm 30 years old and over the last 10 years I have basically explored three different things. So, my creativity, I'm an artist. I make animations and illustrations. And I was also a school teacher which was a very formative experience for me. It's where I realized that my passion and my purpose is definitely in education in some way. The more esoteric thing was my training as a body healer. I ended up in Tel Aviv through work, actually, where I met an 80-year-old man who was a body healer and I spent a year and, long story short, I spent a year apprenticing with him. And I learned all about the healing power of touch, and breath, and movement, and how important it is to just soften ourselves basically. And our power and our sense of self comes from a really soft place and gentle place in our bodies.

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And I just, yeah, I just feel a bit stuck on how to bring all of these things together and what my next step should be because I know I want to have more direct contact with students. At the moment I'm doing full time creative work, which is great but I think when you're a teacher that you just know that you're a teacher and you need to have that contact because it's stimulating and rewarding. And I don't know if I should go back into traditional conventional education here or find a way to somehow bridge the gap and bring in this body work.

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Yes, yes, yes. Okay. Great. I love it. And there are so many people that can relate to your situation, Sophie. I certainly could. There was a point in my career where I loved all of the coaching that I was doing, I was also loving dance, and fitness, and hiphop. And I was also loving marketing and all of these different pieces. And I remember that point going, "Are they ever going to come together? Is it going to happen?" And so, I just want to tell you you just might not have reached your convergent point yet. So, oftentimes it's almost like watching a movie. When you start watching a movie you're kind of into the plot and all of these exciting things are happening and then you're in the middle and you quite don't know how it's going to turn out yet but you can't stop but you can't also force yourself to get to the end because there's more journey to be had. So, I'm saying that in that I can relate to the frustration of not knowing what that "end point" could look like in hopes that it will allow you to relax your shoulders, and your chest, and to know that you're not doing anything wrong.

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I also want to share that there's not one right path ahead. I used to torture myself thinking that “oh there's got to be a right answer to make everything work together and I must find that right answer or else everything is going to fall apart.” You may have several different ways that this can all continue to evolve and to give yourself the understanding that there's not one right path but many beautiful paths and that you can't do it wrong. For me...

I can't tell you how reassuring that is.

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Yes.

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Yeah, that's okay.

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Yes. Well, what that does, what that understanding does is it relaxes us enough to be able to explore possibilities from a space of curiosity not fear, from a place of play and creativity rather than restriction and fear. So…

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Yeah, that's what it's all about as well, this kind of body work really is just so simple.

Yes. So, for you what I would suggest is to start to try on different possible scenarios just like you would try on a dress in the store or a new pair of shoes. When you try something on you're just curious. You're there to see how it feels and how it looks and if it might be something that you want to take home or not. So, think about what it could look like for you. For example... And I'm not saying this is what you should do but I just want to give some concreteness to these so that you can do the work on your own after this call. But let's say you've got your full time job and it's creative and you're doing all this artistic stuff but you miss that ability to be in contact with your students.

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It may look like you holding a class whether it's once a week, twice a month. You don't even have to do it necessarily for profit. You could if you wanted to. But I think one of the things that's important for everyone who's multi-passionate to realize that you do not have to monetize all of your passions. Sometimes you just have to have them be active in your life and they don't have to necessarily turn into a business or a revenue stream in order for you to feel the joy and the benefit from it nor for you to contribute to the world through it.

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Yeah that's so helpful to hear and I don't know if it's just a London thing but it's a very in-the-box place. So, if you're doing multiple things at the same time it's... Yeah, I just have to let that go.

That's right. Well, honey, borrow my term. So, I started calling myself a multi-passionate entrepreneur when honestly I felt so wildly broken because I didn't fit into the box. I never fit into the fucking box. Alright so, that's now my life and I would invite you to play there because it's so much more exciting and expansive. So, when people would ask me, "Well what do you do?" 'Cause of course that's the question that we all get asked.

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I thought the same thing.

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Right. All you have to say is, "Well, do you want to know what I'm doing tonight, or tomorrow, or next week?" And I'm doing a really horrible and shitty accent of you so forgive me of that but you get the point.

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Yes, absolutely, and then I guess more and more you're going to just attract people that are on your train in a way.

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That's right. You can talk about you career in art. You can say, "I'm also really passionate about this movement and in fact I hold these classes. They're free or they're X amount of dollars and I do it once or twice a month." Or if you wanted to volunteer with children... There's so many different ways, creative ways to live your passions. Yes.

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Yeah, and it gives me the opportunity then to test out different ways of putting these things together as well.

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That's right.

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'Cause I was just like, "Oh, I need to be in a school,” or "I need to do this training thing." And actually it feels so much more creative and relaxed to just look at it like this thing.

That's right. So, I'll give you one more thing before we wrap up with you, but it's one of the things I live my life by, which is clarity comes from engagement not thought. So, so many of us can get in our heads sitting on our couch thinking about what should our next right step be rather than like you just said having that creative aspect of it where you experiment, you step out, you try things, and you feel your way to your truth rather than thinking your way to your truth. I spent so much––wasted really––so many years trying to use this thing, I'm pointing to my brain, when I really needed to engage my heart. Sorry I just tapped on my mic. Sorry, Jason. So, anyway…

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It doesn’t work for me. My brain doesn't help with very much, to be honest.

That's right. You can't find your passion in your brain. You have to feel it through your heart and that's why clarity comes from engagement not thought when you're doing the thing. So, my love, I hope this has been helpful for you.

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So helpful. I am so grateful that I had this opportunity. Thank you so much.

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I just want to say when you were explaining your career and all of these things that you have been doing and your adventure just your voice was relaxing. When you were just talking about breathing and relaxation I got really relaxed so thank you.

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You've got healing qualities in your voice I think is what Zach is alluding to, Sophie. Well, we adore you. Please keep us posted on your journey. Thank you so much for giving us the opportunity to connect with you today.

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Actually, thank you for calling and your advice honestly it's so helpful and everything you do is really helpful. I really appreciate it.

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Well, we love you darling and say hi to everyone over on that side of the pond for us and we'll talk with you soon.

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Bye.

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Bye. So, that was an amazing episode.

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It was.

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Zach thank you so much for hanging out with me.

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I'm just hanging out.

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But it's so awesome. Your presence matters.

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No, I loved it. I loved everything you were saying and what they were saying too. It's exciting.

It's inspiring.

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Yeah.

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So, for you we would love to know: What resonated for you? Was there a certain question, an answer, something in between that really lit up your heart? Leave a comment below and let us know. Now, as always the very best conversations happen at the magical land of MarieForleo.com so head on over there and leave a comment now. And when you do if you're not already make sure you sign up for our email list and become an MF Insider. You must must do it. What you're going to get the moment you sign up is an audio I created called How To Get Anything You Want. It is so good. You're also going to get some exclusive content and special giveaways and some little insights from me that I don't share anywhere else. Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams because the world really does need that special gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching and we'll catch you next time on MarieTV. Thank you, Zach.

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That loosened me up.

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