Is Your Life Falling Apart!? Watch This Now | Tips for Coping with Loss

Kris Carr:

I was given 10 years to live, and that was 20 years ago. I'm a monster. You want me on the cleanup crew when the (censored) hits the fan. You have to live your life now because sometimes the golden years are for (censored). And the guy was like, can I say what he said?

Marie Forleo:

Of course. Did you forget where you are?

Audio:

Marie Forleo is a leader. One of the top life coaches on the planet. Award-winning entrepreneur. She's an extraordinary woman. Marie Forleo. Marie Forleo. Marie Forleo.

Marie Forleo:

If you're battling an illness, the loss of a relationship, your career, the death of a loved one, any big life change that has rocked you to your core, the perspectives and tools that Kris is going to share in this episode and her new book, I'm Not a Mourning Person, are truly priceless. Let's dive in. Kris Carr is a multiple New York Times bestselling author.

She's also a wellness leader who's been thriving with stage four cancer for more than 20 years. She's helped millions of people. She's been called a force in nature by O Magazine and a new role model by The New York Times. You say loss is the one thing that we all have in common, and it's very true. One of the big themes, especially in the top of the book, is talking about this idea of ruptures. I love that word. What do you mean by a rupture?

Kris Carr:

For me, ruptures come in all shapes and sizes, and none of us are immune to them. It's the moment when something happens where everything changes, your life changes. You may not think that you're going to survive it, it's so big. And if you do survive it, life will never be the same again. Unfortunately, it's the nature of life because there's this thing called mortality. We're all going in one direction. But of course, throughout the course of our lives, we experienced so many different types of losses.

That's really what I'm talking about in this book, because it's a topic that so few of us have the tools to navigate, so few of us talk about. But whether it's the divorce or losing your job or a health diagnosis like what I've been through, losing a loved one, the miscarriage, losing your identity and former sense of self, we're all going to go through ruptures. I love one of the things that Dr. Gabor Mate says. He's a trauma expert and he talks about trauma isn't something that happens to you, it's something that happens inside of you.

When the rupture happens, something happens inside of us. What I've come to understand is that those ruptures rearrange us. They bring our priorities and our values and even some of our desires into sharp relief, but they can also really take us out. A lot of what I talk about in this book is when the rug gets pulled out from under you, here are some things that can help you.

Marie Forleo:

For people that don't know, you had a pretty big rupture earlier on. This is before you and I became friends.

Kris Carr:

Yeah. I was diagnosed with stage four cancer on Valentine's Day in 2003. I live with an incurable stage four cancer. I have 24 tumors and many are in my liver and both of my lungs. I was given 10 years to live, and that was 20 years ago. That moment really changed everything. There's been amazing things that have happened in my life as a result of not my diagnosis, but how it impacted me, how it woke me up, some of the choices that I made, the decisions that I made to learn how to take care of myself and to share what I had been learning and what I still learn.

But it was also when I started writing this book or thinking about writing this book, I had been through the global pandemic was in full swing. My business was faltering. My dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and he was terminal. I was coming up against my 20-year anniversary of being diagnosed and living with cancer. I thought I was going to write a book that was like, you go girl, you can do it.

Marie Forleo:

I remember when we talked about that, I was like, you got this. Yes.

Kris Carr:

Go live your dreams. You know what I mean? I felt like I needed a nap and some Bengay and a lot of gin. You know what I mean?

Marie Forleo:

Yeah, totally.

Kris Carr:

I was like, I can't write this book, because what was happening was I was really suffering. I thought, okay, well, I think what I'm going to do instead is stop and really understand what's happening inside me and then write about that experience. The rupture in my life was that time and what I did was write about it.

Marie Forleo:

I remember even thinking about when we talked about you writing this book, it was like, "Ugh, can I do this?" Because in the world that we're in, which is personal development, self-development and growth, it is, there's a lot of rah-rah and happy this and whatever that. I remember you thinking through, "Can I do this? Is anyone going to want to read this book? How do I position this?" I'm so happy that you trusted your instincts and that you trusted your heart, because I know it wasn't easy and we'll talk about that a little bit later.

I think you have such a great tip that, going back to rupture for a moment, because we all do experience those times and we will keep experiencing those times. It's not like it happens once in your life. It's like, no, strap yourself in because it's going to happen many times. You were talking about that we need to ask better questions. Because when you're in that spiral, and I've certainly been there... Kris and I have this wonderful little emoji language that we have together. God, how long? When was our friend anniversary? Did that just pass this year?

Kris Carr:

It just passed.

Marie Forleo:

Was it like 11 years, 10 years?

Kris Carr:

I think we might even be at 12.

Marie Forleo:

Anyway, we have this language that we have in our texts where if one of us sends an ambulance as the emoji, the you know what has hit the fan.

Kris Carr:

I don't care what you're doing. You could be talking to Oprah. You're going to have to excuse yourself.

Marie Forleo:

And just say, "I got to go," and pick up the phone. When those moments happen though, all of us can get into a spiral. Your recommendation is great. What do we do?

Kris Carr:

One of the things that I've come to practice in my own life is this question of why. Why did this happen? Why me? Why now? Why do I deserve this? Why didn't I show up more? Why wasn't I more present? Why didn't I visit on Sundays more? We start to beat ourselves up. And answering that question why, like why was I diagnosed, sometimes you'll find out and sometimes you won't. Sometimes there will be a nugget that can be helpful. Why did the car break down? Because you didn't put gas in the tank.

That's helpful. Next time you're going to put gas in the tank. But I think we humans begin to ruminate and we start to stay in the unchangeable past. When we are in that place, we literally melt down. We're not making good decisions. We're just stuck in our suffering. I say, if you find yourself in that place, ask a better question, and that question is what. What can I do now to support my mental health? What can I do now to support my body? What can I do now to support my spirit?

What can I do now to create more peace in my life? These are more productive, proactive, and really self-soothing questions that we can ask ourselves instead of getting stuck in that why me.

Marie Forleo:

I think that's really, really important, because all of our minds, and I know mine's gone there too, when the shiitakes hit the fan, that why can catch you in a loop and not let you go.

Kris Carr:

Yeah, very much so.

Marie Forleo:

It's the kind of thing at night that I found myself. It's like, why, why, why? Why did this happen? What did I do wrong? What would've been a much better question. You talk about the grief train, and I love that the subtitle of the book is Braving Loss, Grief, and the Big Messy Emotions That Happen When Life Falls Apart. What do you call the grief train? I don't think it's as fun as it sounds. It sounds like a good time, but I don't think it is.

Kris Carr:

Okay, so this comes from my therapist.

Marie Forleo:

Carol.

Kris Carr:

Carol.

Marie Forleo:

Carol's the best.

Kris Carr:

She is. I call the book, I'm Not a Mourning Person, not just to be cheeky.

Marie Forleo:

Which by the way is a great fricking title.

Kris Carr:

Thank you. But also because I wasn't a mourning person. It was the emotion I did not want to experience. I was terrified of it. When the big emotions happen sometimes, if we find ourselves in that terror, what do we do? We hustle. We work harder. We outrun it. We throw ourselves into endless copious amounts of Sauvignon Blanc. We do a lot of stuff to avoid the stuff. When I was talking about this with Carol, she said when the grief train pulls into the station station, it brings all the cars.

Now, Carol also has other great sayings like, if it's not one thing, it's your mother. You know what I mean? That's always a good chuckle, but when the grief train pulls into the station, it brings all the cars. What does that mean? That means that it brings old grief, old losses, old baggage that we think, wait a minute, didn't I work through that? I swear I'm over him. It was 20 years ago, blah, blah, blah. Or for example, the grief train bringing the other cars could be those other big messy emotions.

I didn't know that they rolled into the club and demanded bottle service. It was like, wow, how come I'm in rage? How come I'm in so much shame? How come I'm feeling so jealous right now? If I was being invited to a wedding and I had to see a father-daughter dance, I'd want to throw a banana peel down and be like hope for a big pile up. What has come over me? It's because I think that we live in this grief, phobic, messy, emotions averse society and so few of us have the tools that we need to surf these storms.

If we allow ourselves to even feel a little bit, we start to think it's going to take me out. If I let this emotion in, I'm going to drown. Meanwhile, the opposite is true. I think that our emotions are really excited when we get brave. It's sort of like, come on, guys. Oh my gosh, she's so brave. She's feeling it right now. Let's all rush in. You know what I mean?

Marie Forleo:

They're like, party! Party in the fricking grief train.

Kris Carr:

Yes. Even just saying it like that gave me peace, like, oh, this is normal.

Marie Forleo:

I think there's also a lot to be said for even us talking about this now and having awareness like what to expect when you're not expecting your life to be turned upside down, which is your words or something close to your words on your book's page. It really is helpful to know, oh, this anger, this rage, all of this, I'm not crazy and falling apart and I'll never be put back together. I can expect this.

Kris Carr:

Exactly.

Marie Forleo:

One of the things you break down is the difference between fear and anxiety. I always love distinctions like this because fear and anxiety, I've certainly mishmash them together a ton of times. I think they can feel eerily similar in our bodies. How do we really understand what the difference is and what's your perspective on how we can manage them differently and why is that important?

Kris Carr:

Again, this is the landscape we're going to navigate. Each chapter in the book is a chapter that's emotions and experiences that you may find yourself in if your world has fallen apart. Fear and anxiety, I used to think of myself as a fearful person because I don't like walking on ice. Even though she has softened me like roller coasters, no.

Marie Forleo:

You do them now.

Kris Carr:

I don't like pizza and pineapples. They can't touch. I have a lot of stuff that can't happen. My husband's like, "Oh my God, you." But I'm actually not as much of a fearful person as I am an anxious person, and that's what I've come to understand. Exploring the difference between fear and anxiety, fear comes on in an instant. It has a beginning, middle, and end. It's like you're driving down the road, a deer jumps in front of you. I get this rush of cortisol, and I swerve out of the way.

Anxiety is oftentimes the fear of what could happen, the fear of something that may or may not happen in the future. What happens with anxiety is that oftentimes we start to ruminate. Our brains are so clever. And by the way, both of these things, as you know, are totally normal. This is part of survival. This is part of how we've evolved and can walk around in jeans. Fear and anxiety help us stay around. But once you get the message, it's important to learn how to turn off that signal.

When you're going through a rupture, anxiety is going to be something you're feeling a lot of. Because we're clever people, what happens is our brain starts to look for all of these clues and it starts to do these risk assessments. If this, then that. If this happens, then this will happen. And then we find ourselves telling ourselves lots of very scary stories. The stories that I tell myself when I'm anxious are not happy stories. They're not like, it's all going to work out just fine, maybe even better.

No, it's the worst stuff that comes up. Even being able to say, "Oh, wait a minute, this is fear, or this is anxiety. This is what my brain does. Okay, so if I know this is what my brain does, what can I actually do to start to self-soothe, to slow it down?" And for me, that's the moment where you get to choose to insert a gap, insert a gap between the thought, the story, whatever it is, the catastrophizing and that gap could be just a deep breath.

And then I've got some other tips for people who may want to go further than that because it's not just the gap. It's like, okay, well, what are we going to do after that?

Marie Forleo:

What would you do after that? What are some of the things?

Kris Carr:

Well, one of the things that I learned, and we could talk about this in a moment, but besides putting in that gap and saying, okay, I could take a deep breath, come back to myself, come back to the present moment, the moment that I'm in right now, as opposed to down the road when I think something really bad is going to happen, and then I'm just spinning out in that place, is we can't always change or solve the problems of the mind with the mind.

You can't always think your way out of anxiety. It just makes it worse. That's where we have to get into our bodies. For you that might be like, I'm going to go to a dance class.

Marie Forleo:

Totally.

Kris Carr:

It's going to completely reset me. For me, it's I'm going to go for a hike. It's going to completely reset me. It's almost like our brains get into brain rot. It's like a dog licking a hotspot.

Marie Forleo:

I always love when you say that, like my brain or yours, no, we've got a little bit of brain rot happening right now. It's like, yeah, that's very true.

Kris Carr:

It's true. What can we do to change the channel?

Marie Forleo:

Physiology is one thing. You actually have this in the book and I wrote it down. It's like, give the scary movie you're playing in your mind a funny or absurd title. I'm going to read one, this is what you wrote, woman on the verge of a nervous breakdown winds up fine and accidentally loving life. I'm going to fall flat in my face and become a social outcast: a musical.

Kris Carr:

Yeah.

Marie Forleo:

Yeah. I mean, the moment you can bring any kind of humor like that one I feel like is such a great one to do with your friend, any friend that's actually real and supportive and that could dig down in there with you in a very ginger and sensitive way.

Kris Carr:

Totally.

Marie Forleo:

That's a good one.

Kris Carr:

Look what we just did right now, we laughed at it. Honestly, that just soothes our nervous system. It brings us back to the present moment, and it brings us to the place where, oh my God, in this moment right now, I'm okay.

Marie Forleo:

Yes. People aren't projects. I love this part because everyone who listens to this show is ambitious. They're a creative. Most of them are type A, very driven. We all kind of attract each other. When our lives fall apart and we're thrust into these extraordinary situations, I know for me, it's really easy for me to go into overdrive. It's really easy for me to start to flex the muscles of, what can I do? How can I get it done? What do I need to figure out? The cape comes out, the legal pads, let me make every list, all that stuff.

I found it really fascinating in the book, you tell a particular story about people aren't projects and how your initial focus was on fixing your dad. And then you recalled a particular lesson that he taught you after you were first diagnosed and you went in like a bull in a China shop around Thanksgiving. Do you remember what he told you? Can you break this down for us a little bit?

Kris Carr:

Absolutely. First of all, I'm a monster. You want me on the cleanup crew when the (censored) hits the fan.

Marie Forleo:

Yes.

Kris Carr:

Right?

Marie Forleo:

Yes.

Kris Carr:

I remember when we went into one of the doctor's offices and there was a nutritionist there and I was there and my dad was there. She was just like, okay, you've got diabetes now, so we're going to have to change your diet and whatnot. She looked over and she goes, "Are you Kris Carr?" I was like, yeah. She goes, "Oh, don't worry about it. You're going to be just fine. Just do what she says." And that's the last thing that he wanted to hear, but it was everything I wanted to hear. I was like, this is what we came for. You know what I mean? I got this.

When I was newly diagnosed, because I have a disease that doesn't have a cure and it doesn't have treatment, I chose to participate in my well-being. I threw myself into plant-based living and antiinflammatory diet and lifestyle because it was something I could control, something I could focus on. I was like, it's go time. I've got this. I also can sometimes be the person that my husband says, "You know, nobody asked you for coaching at the dinner table when we went out. I know that this is what you do for a living, but nobody wants you to tell them what to do."

I'm like, but I'm so good at that. I know good things. I was terrified, right? I'm being driven and fueled by anxiety. The thought of losing my dad, this was not going to happen on my fricking watch. I'm fricking Kris Carr here. I came in like a rocket ship. I was just coming on so strong. It was similar to when I was newly diagnosed and it was my first Thanksgiving. I had already gone vegan and I'm a new vegan. I've got my little soapbox that I drag around with me like, do you know what it does to the environment and the animals?

It's like, oh my God, way to ruin a dinner party. My dad said, "Look, love, I'm so proud of what you're doing. You're helping people and I'm up for trying this stuff. I mean, not all the way, but I'm going to eat some more vegetables. I'm cool with that. But you have to meet people where they are. Don't bang them over the head. People aren't projects." I write in the book translation don't be a dick and ruin Thanksgiving.

When I cut to what he's going through and I'm coming in really hard and strong and he's tired and he's experiencing debilitating side effects from chemo and radiation and a very intense surgery, it's like he could do what he could do and it had to be enough. That was not the way I wanted to spend our time is policing him and being a dick and ruining the time that I had left with him. I was like, the only time you can change someone is when they're in diapers. Back the (censored) up.

Marie Forleo:

Amen. I just went through that recently with my folks. I came in heavy, science and this and that. I'm sending this mobile IV. I'm doing this. I got this. Literally it was blow up time. It was blow up time. I had to take a hard look in the mirror and go, "They can't handle it right now. This is your problem. This is you operating out of fear."

Kris Carr:

Yeah, exactly.

Marie Forleo:

And anxiety and what's going to happen. I love that. The notion of people aren't projects, I just think it's so important both when there is these incredible ruptures happening in our lives, but I also think it's important for day-to-day. I think it's so important in relationships. I mean, how many times...

You and I, we've talked about it, right? It's like your partner, your loved one, and you're like, oh, that's a little place they can improve over there. We can put this on a project timeline and really make some magic happen. I'm a great coach. I've been doing it for 22 years. Just get with the program. It's like, Marie, sit the (censored) down.

Kris Carr:

Sit down.

Marie Forleo:

Sit down and shut up and smile. Why don't you just be loving?

Kris Carr:

Yes, just be loving.

Marie Forleo:

Just be loving.

Kris Carr:

Shut your trap.

Marie Forleo:

Oh gosh, this was a really fun part. This is a word that I have done battle with-

Kris Carr:

Oh, I know what's coming.

Marie Forleo:

-my entire life. Higher self Marie, she exists. She comes out. She gets it. She's always there.

Kris Carr:

Very much so. I love her.

Marie Forleo:

She's always there. She's cool. She watches things. She really understands. And then personality Marie (censored) hates this word.

Kris Carr:

Spicy, very spicy.

Marie Forleo:

Hates this word so much and gives it the bird practically all the time. The word is acceptance. Now, to be fair to myself, I also do believe that very much like the Serenity Prayer, deciding what to accept and what not to accept is very contextual. There are certain things that outside of our control naturally we do need to accept.

However, things that we do not have to accept, for example, in the chapter where you say, "I'm not okay," you talk about your dad being very close to transitioning, and then all of a sudden, a (censored) jackhammer start outside of the window. Let's talk about acceptance, then let's talk about when it's time to not accept things and bulldoze in and go take care of business.

Kris Carr:

Just what you want to do.

Marie Forleo:

What? I got to let that energy out. I need a channel for it. This is why I have this business. You know what I mean? I got to be able to do it sometime.

Kris Carr:

I think first let's redefine it so that it isn't something that makes you want to gag.

Marie Forleo:

Personality Marie.

Kris Carr:

Yeah. For me, acceptance isn't about settling. It is not about lowering our standards. It is not about giving up. That's not what acceptance is. Acceptance is I think in its truest form is about owning your self-worth. And most importantly, it is about saying, "I will never abandon myself." That is what acceptance is. For me, it came as a result of living with cancer. I wanted to be cured for a long time. I thought I couldn't share my story with the world or with even my closest friend in the world unless I was in remission.

What's so inspiring about that? What's so useful about that? Because we live in a very binary world. You're either a winner or a loser. People who win their battle, people who lost their battle. I realized about 10 years into my journey that if I was going to live with stage four cancer my entire life and I was going to put off life because I wasn't in remission, then I will have wasted my life.

But if I accept that I have cancer, that I am still an incredible human being with an incredible opportunity to live as fully as I can this time around, then that's really what matters. There's a difference between healing and curing. Curing may happen, it might not happen, but healing is available to every single one of us, even as we're dying.

Marie Forleo:

I thought that was such an important distinction, such an important distinction, because how you describe your dad's incredible journey as he got closer and closer to transitioning and the healing that he was experiencing himself, and he was an extraordinary man.

Kris Carr:

Yeah, he was.

Marie Forleo:

It's really inspiring. I have this question for you and I'm curious what's your perspective, do you see acceptance and surrender having a relationship?

Kris Carr:

Yeah, and I can tell you about the jackhammers too because...

Marie Forleo:

Oh yeah, let's talk about jackhammers because that was great. I was like, yes, that's my girl. That's my girl making it happen.

Kris Carr:

Everybody was at the house. My dad was in the final stages. At that point, you're in a coma like state. You cannot communicate. You're not even having food. You're not having water. Your body's slowly shutting down, and bless the hospice nurses and the doctor. We'd called him Dr. Porn, which was the funniest thing ever because he's like, "Ken, before you lose your ability to do stuff, you should remove the porn from your home if you have any, so you don't leave your loved ones with that stuff." I was like, I'm good there, doctor.

Marie Forleo:

Dr. Porn.

Kris Carr:

Dr. Porn.

Marie Forleo:

Coming in with helpful tips, helpful tips.

Kris Carr:

Good stuff. You got to learn this stuff. Anyway, we're trying to make this zen-like experience for him with the beautiful music and the soft lighting. I'm playing bouncer. Anybody's got bad energy has got to get the hell out. And then the jackhammers kick in because their neighbor starts renovating their home and they're digging up an old pool.

There were people at our house. My mom was super busy tending to who knows what, but a lot who were like, "Oh man, we can't say anything, but this is just terrible." I was like, oh no. Oh, well, I'm saying something. I marched right over there and I'm like, "Excuse me. Excuse me. My dad's over there dying. Is there any way you can stop the jackhammers?" They were like, "Uh, what? Yes, ma'am."

Thank you. Thank you. Love you. What just happened? But I would say that that's not about accepting that this is the way it's going to be. It's more so about summoning the courage to ask for what you need, which is what I need is Enya, not the jackhammers. I need you to help me with that, guys. They were like, we're on board.

Marie Forleo:

That's awesome. Okay, so surrender. That I feel like both personality Marie and higher self Marie, for whatever reason, have a much easier time with surrender. I don't know. Where are you at with surrender? We've never talked about this.

Kris Carr:

I know. These are such yummy questions.

Marie Forleo:

It's my job. I think I might have a career at this. I don't know. You let me know.

Kris Carr:

You might have an award-winning show up your sleeve.

Marie Forleo:

A girl can dream.

Kris Carr:

For me, surrender happens in the heart space, whereas acceptance happens in the mind.

Marie Forleo:

Ooh! Say more.

Kris Carr:

I'm accepting. I shifted my thinking around living with stage four cancer, and I shift my thinking around certain things that maybe I don't want them to be the way they are, but they are. Why am I going to fight like a marlin and exhaust myself? Surrender is something that happens in my heart.

If I think about surrendering to the idea that yes, time is short, this is true, I cannot change that, and it's painful, losing somebody is so painful, but just surrendering to that opens my heart, surrendering to what's going to happen even when it's really uncomfortable and really scary keeps me present. I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm here for it because I'm surrendering to the truth of what is.

Marie Forleo:

Wisdom bombs from dad.

Kris Carr:

So many.

Marie Forleo:

So many. I just remember throughout this journey, because you would share them with me as they would drop, there are three specific ones that I want to highlight because they really made an impact on me. There's one that's a surprise at the end that I haven't told you. Just literally last week, two weeks ago, I was like, wow, Ken just changed my life again. The first is the golden years are for (censored), which is one of the best, most truest statements ever.

I feel like in our culture for so many of us, not everyone, but I'm just talking about at least the culture I grew up in here in the United States, this notion that you just work your tail off and you have your nose to the grindstone and then maybe, maybe, maybe 65 or 70 or 75 or for many people in our country right now, that's not even a reality, then you get a couple of years to retire, travel, "live the good life in your golden years."

You know me, obviously, for anyone who's new to the show, they're like, wow, she curses a lot. Yeah, I (censored) do. I'm from Virgi. I can't help it. I think this is why Ken and I, we've got this thing. He's like, the golden years are for (censored). I'm like, yes, Ken. Yes, tell it to us. We need it. Unpack that one for us.

Kris Carr:

He's visiting me and I'm helping him up the stairs to go to our little guest room. He's got his luggage. He's winded and we're standing on the landing. He puts his bag down for a minute and he's like, "You know what's in this bag, love?" I'm like, "What, dad?" He goes, "Medications. These are all my medications. You have to live your life now because sometimes the golden years are for (censored). I worked so hard. I thought I was going to do this, that, and the other thing when I retired.

And now I've just retired, I've just sold my business, and I'm dying of cancer." Now, does that mean our golden years are always for (censored)? No, it was his way of saying to me, don't put it off. I love a job. I like to stay in motion. I like to get the job done. I like to hustle, and I do something great for the world for a living. It's another way for me to hide behind all of that crunching and all that kind of stuff. He saw that in me and he was like, don't put off your life. That was one of the big wisdom bombs.

Marie Forleo:

I love you more than anything and I'm just going to continue to be the one pulling you out to adventures. I'm like, girl, we're getting to this trip. We're getting to that trip. We're going to make it happen now because the golden years could be for (censored). I also love more like this.

Kris Carr:

We were in Martha's Vineyard. Towards the end of my dad's life, I really was like our tour guide. We made a bucket list and I wanted to do all the things because he wanted to have fun a little bit every day. I was like, fun is what we'll do.

Marie Forleo:

We'll have fun.

Kris Carr:

Damn it. We were at this beautiful restaurant, and he was looking out. It was his birthday and he said, "I wish I had given myself more like this. Summer is my busy season." He owned a paving business. "Even though I was the boss, I would never give myself a day off. I wish I had given myself more like this." Golden years, more like this, basically it's you've got to make your golden years now.

Marie Forleo:

I think the more like this though for me, the frame that I have on it is having the insight and the specific understanding of what is your more like this. For him, when I read that part of the book, I saw y'all at the restaurant and looking out over the sunset and having that particular moment. I think for all of us, there are those moments. More like this for me, for me and Josh I would say, I remember one time we were in Italy and I had texted my mom a picture of us having little espressos. You know what I mean?

We were at this tiny little just bar and it was just perfectly sienna colored sun. It was great. She was like, "Wow." She's like, "You need to enjoy that now while you can still do it." It was like a more like this kind of moment. I think for everyone listening, I would challenge you, what are those snapshots in your life? Those moments. I think about you and I, I feel like, God, was that an Oprah event? Remember when we came home and we were dancing after tequila on my banquet?

Kris Carr:

Oh yeah. There was a lot of tequila that one day.

Marie Forleo:

There was a lot of tequila.

Kris Carr:

Oh my god, I was so hungover.

Marie Forleo:

We were dancing on my banquet at 4:00 AM in the morning running around in our socks and hats. I don't even know what the hell we were doing, but it's more like that. I think for everyone listening, it's like, what are those more like that moments? Because those are executable. You can engineer them now. You can literally put them in your calendar. Well, of course, you can't control the mood you're going to be in or blah, blah, blah, but you can stack the deck in your favor to have more of those experiences.

Kris Carr:

100%. That's what he said. Find out what you're more like this is and then make it happen sooner.

Marie Forleo:

There is another one that showed up recently that I know is not in the book actually, that came through a conversation with a medium.

Kris Carr:

Yes.

Marie Forleo:

That actually really made an impact on me because it had to do with hair. Both your dad and I have spent a considerable amount of time dealing with or managing our hair. Can you tell us, and then I'm going to tell you the story about how literally this just impacted me last week?

Kris Carr:

Absolutely. I was speaking to a mutual friend of ours, MaryAnn DiMarco.

Marie Forleo:

She's been on the show.

Kris Carr:

Yeah, and she was saying, "Hey, your dad's coming through. Do you mind if I share anything with you?" I was like, "Sure. What's up? Tell me what's doing, pop." One of the things that she said was, "He said that you're going to know what this means, but he said, where he is, he's like doing this. He's just running his fingers through his hair. Does that mean anything to you?" I was like, "Oh my God."

She said, "And it doesn't matter to him. It feels good. He feels okay doing that now." We used to call my dad Kenzo. He did his own hair perfectly. He was like Vitalis for men hairspray. Never a hair out of place, ironed t-shirts, iron jeans with the seam down the front. You know what I mean?

Marie Forleo:

Very put together.

Kris Carr:

Very put together. Never in a million years would he do this.

Marie Forleo:

Because it would mess up his hair.

Kris Carr:

It would mess up his hair, and he was very anxious about his hair too because it was thinning a bit. He wanted to keep it all in place and keep it all in control and keep it all together. And that told me that wherever he is, he's free and so are his follicles. That's a good thing.

Marie Forleo:

I thought of that story. The conversation that we had planted in my mind and I found myself at the beach. You know how much I love being in the water, being in the sea. It was an evening where I was also due to go to this event with a bunch of awesome women that I've never met before, but I was absolutely certain there was going to be press and picture taking. It was a party. It was a dinner party. It was like that kind of thing.

Kris Carr:

It's amazing. It's my nightmare.

Marie Forleo:

Yeah. It was a full body yes to me. I'm like, I'm just going to go. I know no one. But here was the deal. It was the last day that I was going to be out at the beach because we're in the middle of the renovation. I had work and meetings and stuff to do, and there was this little slice of time that I could go to the ocean. When I got to the ocean, the past couple of days, there was huge storms and rip currents so I couldn't go swimming. But this afternoon, it was absolutely still and the water was gorgeous.

I thought to myself, oh gosh, I'm going to need to get home and get ready for... In order to deal with this thing and then get to the event on time, I can't go swimming and go underwater. And then I thought of your dad doing this and I was like this (censored) this. I ran into the sea and I swam around. I dunked and I was just in heaven in the sea. And then I went to the event with a wet head. No, I'm not even kidding you.

Kris Carr:

Are you feverish?

Marie Forleo:

No.

Kris Carr:

I'm so proud of you.

Marie Forleo:

I didn't even have time to wash my hair, but I know this. If my hair's a little bit dirty and there's sea salt in it, I'm like, it'll dry and it'll be fine. This was the funniest thing. I was talking to these different women there. Everybody was super cool. They're like, "Oh my God, you have the coolest mermaid hair." I was laughing my ass off, because I was like, it's so dirty right now, and then I told that story. But it was like, that's this thing and that little wisdom bomb and these moments.

How many of us, I know I've certainly done it, where you make these choices about how you think you need to look or how you need to present yourself or who you need to be or how you need to fit in, and then you skip out on these moments that are so important for your aliveness. Anyway, thanks, Ken. It helped me. You also talk about anger in this book. This is a really interesting topic, because I know that you told me that it was really hard for you to write some of the stories that you tell in this chapter about anger.

As I was reading the book, I was like, huh, I can understand that a little bit, but let's unpack anger a little bit and then talk about how it started to erupt in you, because I do think the stories that you tell are... They're stories that people can recognize themselves in and feel less shame about.

Kris Carr:

And that's the big word right there. I think it comes back to all of the big messy emotions that happen when we're going through a really tough time. Anger just sideswiped me. I didn't realize how angry I was, how angry I would become. I felt a lot of shame around that anger and around some of the eruptions that I had, one of which was like, if it was a cell phone moment, it would be like, "Is that Kris Carr, the wellness expert, losing her (censored) publicly?" It was like, oh my gosh, what has happened?

We'll talk about this a little more maybe, but I set two intentions for this book. The first was for the readers, and that was to normalize these conversations and to help people feel less alone and to give them more tools. The other intention was for me, and that was to go to places that scared me. Not just the places that scare me through the healing process, but the places that scare me by revealing more than I've ever revealed in my writing and being truthful and being raw and being messy and being honest and even touching places that I'm like, are you sure we can't take back the draft?

Wait, it's really at the printer now. Right, okay, interesting. One of those, there are a few, but one of those was around anger. What I have come to understand is... I think you want me to tell you what the story is?

Marie Forleo:

Yeah, because...

Kris Carr:

I can't tell which one is more up for me.

Marie Forleo:

I think the one in the bathroom.

Kris Carr:

Oh, that one, the worst one. Thanks.

Marie Forleo:

Only because... Well, we could talk about the other one. I've screamed at people and almost hit them. I mean, I'm just going to be honest. I do it on vacation because people are interesting sometimes. I can't control Jersey Marie. If people threaten me, I go nuts.

Kris Carr:

Yes. I don't necessarily. Anyway, the one that you're referencing is when some really shady stuff went down with these two guys that were very threatening towards me and I basically had to advocate for myself. Part of that was really standing up for myself and a lot of expletives came out.

Marie Forleo:

They were drunk guys and you told them where to shove it and you really gave them a piece of what they need.

Kris Carr:

I gave them a piece of my mind, but my dad was standing behind me after that. They were trying to pick me up. It was just like, "Come on, baby. Come out drinking with us." One of them was getting into my dad's car. I was like, no. By the way, this isn't an Uber. The car had just come around. Oh, come on baby, let's go. Let's go. And then I was like, no. I said no and you need to get out of our car. This is not an Uber. The guy was like... Can I say what he said?

Marie Forleo:

Of course. Did you forget where you are? Yes, you could say what he said.

Kris Carr:

He said, "(Censored) You're not even worth it. You're all this left." Pooh! Right? I lost my mind. I just went off. And then my dad comes out, my husband comes out, and what I realized was I wasn't just screaming at this man who had just been so disrespectful and so demeaning and so all the things, it is just so gross, I was screaming because how dare it be him and not you? I was so pissed off. You get to go on living your life while this incredible human doesn't? I was like, there's no justice in the world.

I was just having this existential angry moment at God, at the dudes, at cancer. And then my dad's standing behind me and he's shaking. I just got flooded with shame, oh my gosh, because I wanted him to think I had my (censored) together, that when he left I would be fine. I keep the family together and I would do all the things he taught me to do, but clearly I don't have my (censored) together. It was so hard for me. And then I realized how close shame can be with those really big emotions.

But the truth of the matter is, let's talk about anger for a second, anger is an indicator emotion. Anger signals that there's something else going on. Anger is what comes up when there's injustice. Anger is basically your mind and your body saying, "Ow! This really hurts." Usually there's something underneath the anger. For me, underneath that anger was loss, was shame, was a lot of unresolved emotions, and anger was just coming on as a protector, as an emotion that would help me get through that time so I could be safe again.

That's when I started to say and my grandmother used to say, this is anything that was something that women specifically shouldn't do, because she grew up in a very different time, was like, don't be unbecoming. Anger was one of those unbecoming emotions. And then I was like, you got to befriend this one too.

Marie Forleo:

Yeah, no, I just want to... First of all, I think all of the stories that you tell are incredible in this, and there wasn't one where I was like. I was like, yes, Kris, yes, because I think we've all been there. I've certainly been there. There have been times, like when I mentioned just before, we were on a vacation once and there was this gentleman and he wouldn't leave us alone and it started to feel threatening. I didn't even know what happened, but I turned around and the roar that came out of me and how I charged, I didn't assault him, but the energy that came out of me, it frightened me.

Everyone around in a certain radius was like, "What?" I didn't even know where that came from, but I was like, whoa, I have never felt anger or rage like that. If it was a cell phone moment, we'd be like, "Damn. Forleo's got some fire." But those can feel embarrassing, but they're real and we all experience it from time to time. I think we all take a look in the mirror and go whew.

Kris Carr:

I mean, even sharing it now, I could feel the heat come up. The thing that I think is so powerful, I was telling this to our friend Terry Cole the other day, is just how knowing that and some other stories were in the book, that they're there is I'm still doing work around shame. The truth is is that I have no reason to feel that shame. Isn't this interesting? Just lean into these emotions with curiosity and what else is here. Okay, so what's under that?

Marie Forleo:

Yes. I think you did a great job and are doing a great job. Rest in love, this is a chapter that I was literally bawling at the end of. Truly bawling. I had to close the book and take a moment. Take us back to the experience when you talked with Carol, your therapist, about talking about talking about it.

Kris Carr:

There's a lot of conversations that we'll have in our lives with people that are really scary. This is not just about death and dying, but in this particular case... And you can get whatever it is that you need. It's not necessarily about the actual process of walking somebody to the end of their life and being there for the transition, though if you have the opportunity to do that, it's the most sacred and amazing experience you can have because we're all going there.

But I was terrified to have the conversation and my dad wanted to. I was afraid I'd get it wrong, and I was afraid I'd make him feel bad. I was afraid that by seeing me grieve, it would make him even sadder. I wanted to shield him and protect him, and yet he wanted to have a conversation about it. I told my therapist and she said, "Why don't you start by talking about talking about it?" It's not the actual conversation, but it's like the pre-show warmup.

Marie Forleo:

It's like dipping your toe in the pool.

Kris Carr:

Yeah. Hey, I'm willing to have this conversation and I may not get it right and I'm probably going to fall apart. I'm not going to know what to say. It's going to be so hard for me, but I'm here and I'm willing to show up for it. Does that resonate with you? He was like, "Absolutely. I'm grateful for that opportunity." And then it was like, okay, let's do something else now.

Marie Forleo:

Yes.

Kris Carr:

It's not going to be today though. And then a week later, we had the conversation.

Marie Forleo:

What a gift. I love too that you highlighted your mom's beautiful intuitive coaching near the end, writing, "You're doing such a good job at this. I'm so proud of you."

Kris Carr:

Yeah, and that's as he's dying. She's coaching him, and we're meditating and breathing. She's coaching him. I'm holding his hand. She's holding his heart. It's just one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. I was just like, you're a master. I've been on stage with some of the greatest masters in the world. You're kicking their ass.

Marie Forleo:

Aura is incredible. Talking about just that feeling that you had of going, okay, I know he wants to have this conversation. I'm not going to get it right, but you know it's necessary. You have such a beautiful chapter. It's one of my favorites called Awkward Times, Awkward People. It's one of the most tactical chapters in the book. I like to consider myself a pretty communicative person. I'm very straightforward and most of my friends usually appreciate that about me.I just remember when things were going down with you, I was like (censored).

There were so many hits that you were taking. We didn't even talk about buddy. We didn't talk about so many things, but I found myself going all the time like, what do I say and what do I not say? We'll get to some of my awkward moments, but what are some of the things, because I think this is really, really important for our listeners and for people watching right now, that we should never say? By the way, we've all made mistakes here because we want to say something right, but we wind up saying things and it just gets twisted.

Kris Carr:

Everything I write about, a lot of the things that I have said I've done, and I've stepped in the poop myself, and I think the most important thing is not to get people scared and shut down because we're all humans and we're all hurting. We're all fumbling around trying to get this thing called life right. I think the most important thing is if you mess up, just own it and say you're sorry fully full stop, and then be back into human school. But I can tell you from my experience even with cancer, I remember people saying, "Oh wow. How long do you have to live?"

Marie Forleo:

Oh, Jesus.

Kris Carr:

Or, "Oh, my friend had that and she died." You're just like, "Thanks, Betsy. That's really reassuring. Gosh." But when it comes to stuff like this, I've spoken to so many different people along the way of the person who has a miscarriage and somebody well-meaning says, "Oh, don't worry, you're young. You'll have another baby." You say, "But I wanted this baby." Or you lose your partner and somebody says, "There's other fish in the sea," and you're like, "I don't want fish. I want my person," or it's God's plan.

That one can be really hard for people. Maybe some folks are open to that, but not everybody is going to be open to that line of thinking. For me, I'm like, excuse me while I barf in my mouth because that sounds like a sociopathic narcissistic God. I don't want any part of that. There's a lot of things that we do with our language around people who are grieving or going through really difficult times.

But I want to say that I think for the most part, it's coming from a really good place because we are awkward. We don't know what to say. Sometimes we put words together that maybe shouldn't go together.

Marie Forleo:

Let's shift to some of the things that we should say or things that are actually perhaps more healing and create more connection. Do you want me to tag on some of the stuff? These are your words. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Very standard, but it does open a conversation. It creates that connection pathway. I'm not sure what to say, but I'm here to listen.

I feel like that's so honest. I'm not sure what to say, but I'm here to listen. It's like I would love to hear that. I don't know how you feel, but I'm here to help in any way I can. That's a great one. I'm with you, and I love you. And then this one, of course, this is for all of us type A people, I bet you could use some help right now. How about I blank, run errands, get groceries, walk your dog? So good.

Kris Carr:

Super helpful. I think the biggest thing is just to be courageous. I call it courageous acknowledgement. It's acknowledging the elephant in the room, because sometimes we want to flee. We want to change the subject. We start centering ourselves, "Oh, you went through a loss? I went through a loss," and then we hijack the conversation. If we can just take a deep breath, stay present, and be courageous by acknowledging it like, I'm so sorry that you're going through what you're going through.

Marie Forleo:

I love this too. You had another bit of tactical advice in terms of advice giving. This is particularly important for people who happen to be in professions like ours.

Kris Carr:

Like me.

Marie Forleo:

Yeah. Do you want advice right now, or do you want to brainstorm, or do you just want to get it off your chest? It's like, especially when someone is in the middle of an intense (censored) pickle, give them multiple choices. Make it easy. I thought this was a great line. I don't know how to act and I'm afraid to get it wrong, but I love you and I want to try. How beautiful is that? You're smart, kid. You're smart. Signs and synchronicities, this is a fun one.

Building on this, I remember that when your dad passed, it was only a few months after, but I had such a strong intuitive hit that I wanted to get you this gift. I was so nervous. I don't know if I ever told you, I might've told you after I gave you the gift that I was super nervous because I didn't want to offend you. I love you so much. I didn't want to give you this gift if it was going to feel weird or icky. But I had become somewhat obsessed. I had started off. We talked about surviving death.

We had talked about that beautiful Netflix series, which I found very moving because my grandmother had just passed at that time. And then I started watching this show called The Seatbelt Psychic. Remember? I texted you and I'm like, "Oh my gosh, this guy is amazing. He's so sweet. He's so kind. He's so good." I was fishing around on the internet and I'm like, I really felt like in my heart that I wanted to give you this session. You didn't have to take it if you didn't want to, but I felt like enough time had passed.

I was like, gosh, am I going to lose my best friend over this? You know what I mean? Am I going to lose my best friend? Because I know you're not super into that stuff, but I gifted you that session to just see if you even wanted to explore a potential connection.

Kris Carr:

Yes. Well, first of all, you'd never lose me, so you're stuck with me.

Marie Forleo:

I love you.

Kris Carr:

Secondly is, yes, I sometimes have a very feral and fluid connection to faith, and I tend to be skeptical of a lot of things. I have a lot of friends who are mediums and psychics. It's not that I don't believe, it's just not something I gravitate towards. You know what I mean? And then my dad passed, and now I'm like, sign, sign, signs, where are you? Anyway, when you said that, I was like, Marie's watching a new program on Lifetime called The Seatbelt Psychic. What is this about? And then I'm racking and stacking. I had that session with him and it was really wonderful.

Marie Forleo:

Thomas John.

Kris Carr:

Thomas John.

Marie Forleo:

Yeah, he's fabulous.

Kris Carr:

It was very, very appreciated. And then you were like, "Hey, let's go do a weekend with Laura Lynne Jackson.

Marie Forleo:

She was the best.

Kris Carr:

She was amazing, and I really loved her. One of the things that she said was you have to ask and don't make it easy. I was like, don't make it easy on the dead? That sounds like a little rude. Okay. But basically don't ask for a squirrel. Especially if you live where I live, you're going to see squirrels everywhere and be like, "Dad! Dad! Dad!" No, it's a squirrel. I was like, all right, I'm not going to make it easy on the dead. I'm going to listen to Laura Lynne Jackson. I asked for a narwhal. You know if you know what a narwhal is.

Marie Forleo:

Now I do. I didn't know what the hell. I was like when we were at that workshop, I'm like, what you doing, girl?

Kris Carr:

was setting the bar high. I was like, if this (censored) works, I'm going to get a narwhal. A narwhal is a combination of a dolphin and a unicorn. It was like my happy place right there. A week goes by, and this is in the book, and there's no narwhal. I'd just gone to this workshop with Marie. My heart's open. I'm thinking maybe. And then a month goes by, no narwhal. I'm like, that damn workshop with Marie. Where's my damn narwhal? This is stupid. And then I go into an antique store because you know I like Tecan on the weekend.

Marie Forleo:

Who doesn't? We don't trust them.

Kris Carr:

Over the desk is this beautiful antique photo or drawing of a narwhal. I was like, "Okay. Hi, dad."

Marie Forleo:

So good. I love some of that work. I've personally gotten a lot out of it because I'm such a believer, not in any particular strict religion, but I'm very clear for myself that this consciousness. It's like, yeah, I'm in this little meat suit for a little bit, but there's a whole lot more that's happening out there. I'm very interested in people that have those particular gifts because I find them fascinating. I'm really happy that you weren't like, why is my best friend... You know what I mean? Why did she get me this particular session?

Kris Carr:

No, I was very happy. It wasn't like when my mom dragged me to therapy with Dr. Ron and I just sat there for a year because I just wouldn't let her get her money's worth. I wasn't like, Marie made me see you. I was grateful.

Marie Forleo:

When we actually talked about doing this podcast, you said that there was one regret that has to do with me. And then you're like, no, I'm not telling you until I'm on your show.

Kris Carr:

I know it's going to be a big reveal for the audience. We did a celebration of life for my dad, and there was 150 people who came from all over the country. I didn't invite you. I didn't invite any of my friends, and I didn't invite you. You're not my friend, you're my sister. I even remember my mom saying at the time, "Why aren't you inviting Marie?" I didn't want to bother you.

Marie Forleo:

Oh my God.

Kris Carr:

No, I know. I know. What I realized at the time was I'm such a producer that I was like, I'm going to be here for my mom. I'm speaking. I got to kick this out of the park. This is my opportunity, and there's 150 people who are coming in and I'm going to be there for them. I don't need anybody. Oh my God, I so regret that. I have so little regrets around this experience, because I needed you. I did.

Marie Forleo:

I remember, and I was trying to be actually gentle because I knew what a tender time it was. I was like, "Do you need anything? Do you want a second producer?" Remember? Because I'm like, dude, I'll get in there. I'll build flower things. I'll do whatever. I'll be at the bouncer at the door. Make sure nobody's getting in that shouldn't be.

Kris Carr:

You guys should all been there and be like, we're here for Ken.

Marie Forleo:

No. I have been, will be, same thing, you're not going to be able to get rid of me. I think for all of us at these times, we just go to our default mode.

Kris Carr:

Yeah, just put your head down, get it done. Be there for everybody else. You don't need this. You've got this. That was a mistake.

Marie Forleo:

Well, it's not a mistake that... I told you, I feel like I almost feel even closer to Ken. I feel like he was with me on the beach that day. Do you know what I mean? I feel like I get little nudges every now and again or winks out of somewhere and I'm like, it's Ken Energy. It is really good. Let's talk about moving on versus moving forward. I think it's a really interesting distinction because they're different.

Kris Carr:

Yeah. A lot of times we may think, well, we have to put this bad experience behind us. It's over. It's time to move on with our life. It's time to suck it up, buttercup. Keep on going. That's the past. I don't think that there is an on. I think that if you're lucky, you move forward. And if you do the work, you move forward. The truth of the matter to me is that there's two sides of the coin. Love is one side and grief is the other, because you can't have one without the other. Again, if we're lucky enough to be alive, then we are going to experience loss of all shapes and sizes.

Sometimes when we think, well, we have to move beyond it, it can bring up a lot of stuff like, for example, guilt. I remember feeling happy for the first time and then feeling really guilty because I felt like, aren't I abandoning my loved one by even experiencing joy? Aren't I being disrespectful by allowing joy in my heart? And that's when I was like, oh, grief is just another emotion. I say this in the book, it's like we can't amputate any of our emotions and expect to be whole.

I can't get rid of it. I can't move on, but I can continue to welcome it and have a seat at my table for grief whenever it comes up. It can continue to move forward with me in life, and I can build all these other beautiful experiences and memories and joys and adventures around it.

Marie Forleo:

It comes to this notion of there's an expansion of who we are and what we include.

Kris Carr:

Beautiful.

Marie Forleo:

It becomes both/and, both/and, which you write about so beautifully. Your words, I love this and it guts me. I'm excited about this next chapter and I'm depressed. I'm grateful and I'm grieving. I'm energized and I'm exhausted. I mean, I'll pause there for a moment because I don't know if anyone listening right now has not had those simul experiences, and I feel like younger versions of me, it was so binary. It was so black and white. It was like, oh, well, if I'm this, then I can't be that.

And if I'm that, I can't be this. I would feel almost schizophrenic inside. The older I get, the more I realize, I'm like, oh no, it's like those two and probably four more are hanging out at the party together. It's both/and. I'm not one or the other. They're all partying and doing their numbers on the dance floor. I'm going to share these two unless you want to share them.

Kris Carr:

No.

Marie Forleo:

I'm healthy and I have cancer. I'm a life loving person and I have a lot of anxiety. I'm big-hearted and closed off. Boom! I'm successful and unsuccessful at a whole lot of things. Right? It's just like both/and. Has it given you more peace to feel the both/and in your life and to feel more comfortable embracing both and feeling like you don't have to just fit into the good column?

Kris Carr:

Yeah. I think none of us want to live in boxes. Boxes or prisons. I think that the both/and is more true to a three-dimensional life. It's like living in the magnificent gray is what I talk about as opposed to very binary, black and white thinking, as you so beautifully said. I think it also makes it easier to stumble around and explore these messy emotions and know you're going to have setbacks and comebacks. It's not always going to be pretty, but you're doing it.

Marie Forleo:

You want to close by doing some reading?

Kris Carr:

Sure. You know I use readers now. I'm going to be okay though. What happened?

Marie Forleo:

Life.

Kris Carr:

Life. Okay, here we go. While life will never be the same after whatever loss you're grappling with, it's still worth putting yourself out there and living and loving fully, not because your person would want you to. While likely true, no one wants to hear that and not because God doesn't give you more than you can handle, seriously, WTF, but because life is beautiful and you deserve to bask in that beauty before your own eventual dirt nap, which can sneak up on you real fast, so you might as well get busy living.

Marie Forleo:

Yes for living before the dirt nap, which by the way, I think it's one of the best phrases ever. Greg and I were laughing behind this. It was like, dirt naps. It was like, oh, you don't even need a blanket. There's just piles of earth on you. You're really good, Kris.

Kris Carr:

Writing is fun.

Marie Forleo:

Writing is fun and you are brilliant at it. Congratulations on this gorgeous book. It's going to help literally millions of people. Thank you for making the time today, and thanks for being you. I love you.

Kris Carr:

I love you.

Marie Forleo:

Hey, did you enjoy that episode? If so, do me a favor and hit the subscribe button right now. It'll make sure that you never miss an episode coming up. And more importantly, it helps us reach more incredible people just like you. Subscribe now and thank you so much.

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