Fear of Failure: Why Getting Back Up After a Fall Really Matters

Phones off, pants down, let’s do this.

Hey there, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business and life you love. You know, last year on vacation something kind of scary and embarrassing happened to me. But as with most things that seem kind of negative, there was this hidden lesson inside. So Josh and I were on Selena, which is a beautiful little island off the coast of Sicily where the best way to really get around is by scooter. Now, I hadn’t ridden a scooter for at least 20 years, but I was super excited to get back on one. So it was this blazing hot day, it was in the summertime, and I had shorts on, and we walked from our hotel over to the rental place. Now, I don’t speak much Italian and the women at the rental place didn’t really speak much English, but after a few minutes with Google Translate, we were ready to just hop on our scooters and start exploring the island.

So the folks at the rental place asked me if I was familiar with riding scooters and I said no, not really. So they wanted to give me a little tutorial. Essentially they said that you go like this to give it gas and that you squeeze the handles to brake it. Now, I ride my bike quite a bit and it seemed really similar. And I said, ok, this sounds easy enough. And in Italian that’s… “that’s facile!” So I put on my helmet, I turned on the ignition, and I got ready to ride off into paradise. Now, here’s the thing. What I didn’t quite realize was that the right lever was for the brake on the front of the bike and the left lever was for the brake on the back wheel. Now, I’m not so sure how I managed to do this, but basically I gassed it and I squeezed the brakes at the same freaking time. And within 3 seconds I crashed it, I flipped it, and I landed on the asphalt with bare knees and a 250 pound scooter on top of me. Not one of my finer moments. Now, thank God there were no cars coming down the road and thank God Josh and the folks from the rental place immediately got the scooter off of me and they pulled me onto the side of the road.

So miraculously I did not break any bones. I couldn’t even believe this, but I wasn’t bleeding. I was just extremely shaken up and I was engulfed by this tidal wave of shame and embarrassment. I felt like such an idiot. Now, the people from the rental place, they were so sweet. And they wanted to take the scooter back. They said, you know what? You can just give this back to us. We’re gonna give Josh a bigger scooter so you can just relax and ride on the back of his. Now, in that moment I had a choice. It was either, A, I could play it safe and give the scooter back and then I would be a passenger rather than a driver. Or, B, I could get my butt back up, get back on that scooter, and learn how to ride it without killing myself or anybody else. Now, if you know anything about me you probably know what I chose, which was B. And here’s why I made that choice.

I didn’t want fear to take hold in my bones and start slowly turning me into a person who was scared and small and insecure. Just because I made a mistake, and it was a pretty big one – I messed up – doesn’t mean I was going to give up.

So I got back on the scooter, and yes, I was completely terrified. But I started nice and slow and in painstaking detail I had everybody explain to me exactly what to do and what not to do. And very, very slowly I got back on the scooter and I tried it again. First I did a little test. I did little just runs up and down this one road until eventually I got comfortable enough to keep going. I told the people at the rental place I got this, and by the end of the day, I’ve got to be honest, I was 10 times more comfortable and confident than I ever thought I could be and I was actually able to zip around the island without causing any damage to myself or objects or other people. And every single day after that as I rode more and more, I got more confident. And as you can see from this little picture, eventually I got really into my little scooter.

So you might be asking how does this relate to you? Well, I think the biggest lesson that we can all remind ourselves of is this: when you get knocked down, it does not mean that you’re weak or that you’re stupid or that you’re incapable. It just means that you’re human and that you’re really brave for even trying. But I think what’s even more important, whether you wipe out physically like what I did or you wipe out in your business or your relationships or some creative project, which, trust me, I faceplant in those many times myself. Let’s be really clear and, yes, this one is a tweetable.

“A fall isn’t final unless you stay on the ground.”

So here is the bottom line: do not give fear a chance to solidify and harden in your bones. You’ve got to get back up while the fear is fresh and new and I promise, then you will not be trapped by it. And here is the great thing, once you get back up you are no longer the person who fell. You’re actually the person who’s still riding.

So now I would love to hear from you. Have you ever had a stumble or a fall? I mean, if you’ve been alive for more than 2 minutes, you most probably have. So tell me about a time when you wiped out whether it was literally or metaphorically, and what did you learn from that experience? How did you get back up? And how specifically did you grow as a result?

Now, as always, the best conversations happen after the episode over at MarieForleo.com, so that’s the place to go to leave a comment right now. And once you’re there, make sure you subscribe to become one of our MF insiders. I so love our subscribers. You’re gonna get access to an audio training called How to Get Anything You Want, it’s really good. You’ll also get some exclusive content and special giveaways and personal updates from me that I don’t put on social media or anywhere else.

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They gave me a little tutorial. That’s what they did. And they were like Elmer Fudd and so was I.

Let’s move up the but.

Move up your butt, girl. Move up your butt.

Yeah. Bye, everyone!

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