Fear vs. Intuition: How To Tell The Difference

Everyday I’m hustling, hustling, hustling! Everyday I’m hustling! Okay. Was that our intro? Did I say Q & A Tuesday? Q & A Tuesday! Done! Intro!

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Q: Today’s question comes from Grey and Grey writes: “Hey Marie, look forward to every Q & A! Love your vids!” Thank you! “Okay, my question is how do you know the difference of when you’re just out of your comfort zone and when your gut is telling you NOT to do something? Sometimes they feel the same, butterfly stomach and I can not separate them. Any bright, hot and sexy tip?”

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(Rapping: “It’s about to get bright, hot and sexy up in here you all.”)

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A: Alright, I’m really excited to A this Q because it’s one of the most common ones I get asked. I’ve got two strategies today to help you hone in on how to tell the difference between fear and intuition. First one is this, you’ve got this question that you can ask yourself to tap into your natural-knowing. Each of us has a natural-knowing. It’s something like a body-knowing, kind of like your intuition and it’s a simple question that goes like this.

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When you think of doing the thing that you’re talking about and you’re confused. You don’t know if you shouldn’t do it or you’re just scared to do it. Do you feel expansive or contracted? So Grace says she has no idea what the hell that means. So let’s dive into what expansive means. So if you think about something and you feel expansive. It’s kind of like your shoulders open up, your chest opens up. You get really excited even if there’s a little fear involved.

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It feels like, “Oh my God, I’d really love to do that!” There’s kind of like a forward motion, everything expands. Now, let’s talk about contracted. So, that feeling if you think about doing the thing you’re thinking about doing and all of a sudden you start to kind of pull in or your head starts to shake no. Or, you start to feel a sense of dread or like, “God that feels like pulling teeth.” That’s a sense of contraction and that’s how you know.

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If it’s a contracted feeling, that’s your intuition or your gut telling you, “Stay away, honey! Do not go near that thing with a ten-foot pole.” On the other hand, if you feel expansive and you still have some fear, go for it! It’s a good thing. Is that good enough? See, now she gets it! 

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Strategy number two, you want to kind of use that same inner ability but this time you’re going to pull in your friends and here’s what I mean. So as a coach, I often work with people and they’ll tell me about their projects that are coming up and I just watch them. It’s really interesting because when people start to talk about their ideas and things that they want to do, their body doesn’t lie.

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Kind of like Shakira’s, my hips don’t lie! The body never lies! And, when you hear someone talking about something that they really shouldn’t do, they actually start to look dead. Like they get pasty. They start to look depressed. Almost like their body language starts to pull in and then when people talk about something that they’re really excited about, that they should do. Even though it scares the crap out of them, they light up like a fucking Christmas tree! 

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So here’s how you implement it this, you’ve got to get some good friends around you and you want to talk through the ideas or this opportunity that you’re not sure if you should take or not, and have them really pay attention. 

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Now of course it’s important that these friends are honest. That you trust them and that they actually care about you. And I promise, you talk through this and they’ll be able to tell in a hot minute whether or not you should go for it just based on how your body and your face is reacting. Now finally, I want to leave you with an awesome quote from my friend Steven Pressfield who I interviewed here.

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He has this awesome quote which says, “The more important a project is to your soul’s evolution, the more you’ll resist it.” Booya, Steven Pressfield! Awesome question, Grey. Thank you so much for asking it. And, thank you for watching! If you dug this video, you know what I want you to do. I want you to like it! I want you to comment! I want you to share with all your friends.

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Of course if you’re not yet on the newsletter list, come on over to marieforleo.com. Jump on! I’m going to send you lots of good stuff and we’re going to have a great time together. So, thanks again for watching and I’ll catch you next time.

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Hey, RHH LI.VE is coming up! Are you coming? Go to rhhlive.com for details.

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I’m going to A the shit out of this Q! No, we can’t say that because that sounded… that was so rough. I’m going to A the shit out of this Q! That’s my mom coming out. My mom’s very truck driver. Thanks mom!

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