How To Define Success For Yourself, No Matter What The World Says

You like my fringe? I like my fringe. Or is it a little witchy? I’m waving my fringe flag.

Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching Marie TV, the place to be to create a business and a life that you love. And it’s Q&A Tuesday, one of my favorite days of the week because there’s Q’s and there are A’s. And today’s Q comes from Ms. Claire and Claire writes, “Dear Marie, love your show and your sound human advice. I don’t own a business or anything. I am only a recent creative writing graduate. I’ve always had piles of passion and drive, but right now I’m working part time as a waitress and feeling very aimless. I love where I’m working and where I’m at in my life, but how do I continue to feel fulfilled and successful outside of what the rest of society deems success, I.e. big job, big money. I don’t need a lot, but I would like to feel fulfilled and accomplished in some way. Thanks for all you do, Claire.”

Claire, amazing question. I want to start off with the good stuff. You said, “I don’t need that much to be happy. I love where I’m working and I love where I’m at in life.” Hallelujah. That is a rare and beautiful thing. So congratulations. Now let’s see if we can help you with the rest.

Number one, there is no such thing as only. So in your question you wrote, “I don’t own a business or anything, I’m only a creative writing graduate.” It sounds like you’re holding yourself as less. Here’s something that you need to get. Your work does not equal your worth. Entrepreneurs are not better than non entrepreneurs and working on Wall Street isn’t better than working as a waitress. There’s no such thing as only an anything. Our true worth doesn’t come from the work we do. It comes from who we are as human beings. Now I know sometimes that’s easier said than done, but if you want to be in charge of your happiness, you need to remember that.

Number two is begin with the end in mind. So you said that you were feeling aimless and this writing exercise, good for a creative writer, is really going to help you figure out where to set your sights. So it’s based on Stephen Covey’s idea, begin with the end in mind. And when I say end, I actually mean the end of your life. So imagine it’s years from now, it’s your last day on Earth and you’re thinking back on the journey. What kind of memories do you want to have? What kind of adventures will you have taken? Are there certain places you went, friends you made and things you did with them? So don’t just think about this. Actually write it down. I promise you’re going to uncover some pretty awesome ideas that might just be worth aiming for.

Number three, flesh out the details. So you said that you want to feel fulfilled and accomplished. Well, what exactly does that mean to you? I’d love you to get specific. Does that mean that you write every day? Does it mean that you publish a novel? Would you feel accomplished if you just got up and put on some underwear? I certainly do. I want you to get clear and specific and make sure that you include some things that you can do on a daily basis so every day you get to feel fulfilled and accomplished.

Now before we wrap this up, I just want to comment about this whole idea of success. You know, even society can’t clearly define it. For some people, success means tons of money, and for other people it means doing what you love and some money. And for other people, success is all about being with your friends and your family. And still others just want to do whatever they need to do, to have enough time to swim with the dolphins and watch some zombie movies. No matter what it is, it’s important that you define success for you. And for me, I happen to love Maya Angelou’s version, which is this week’s tweetable. “Success is liking who you are, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” So remember, Claire, the only definition of success that matters is yours.

So that was my A to your Q. I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks so much for asking and now I would love to hear from you. What is your definition of success? Paint us a picture in the comments below.

Now, as always, the best discussions happen after the episode over at the wonderful land of MarieForleo.com so go there and leave a comment now.

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I think that would be amazing. I’d like to see some lady magicians.

Me too.

Killing it. Making things disappear. Okay. It’s got a pucker. It’s a boob pucker. That would be it people. That would be it.