No More Uncertainty! How to Know Your Next Step in Life

Marie Forleo:

Hey, it’s Marie Forleo, and you’re tuning into The Marie Forleo Podcast and MarieTV, the place to be to create a business and life you love. And this happens to be Q and A Tuesday. And today’s question comes from Ellen.

Ellen:

Hi Marie. My name is Ellen. I’m in Phoenix, Arizona. My son left home at a younger age, and I am a single mom. I’m having trouble finding purpose in life, new direction, where to go from here. Always been a mom, working hard, I’m on disability, just need to know what do I do now? Sometimes I feel like I’m too old to keep moving forward, and other times I’m like, “No, I’m young.” I’m going to be 50 this year. So where do I go from here?

Marie Forleo:

Oh my goodness, Ellen. I wish I could reach through the screen right now and give you such a big hug. I love your question so much. I also want you to know you’re not alone. Going through a transition like this, you have spent years, if not decades working so hard to take care of your son as a single mom, and now that he’s moved out, and you’ve got all of this extra time and space mentally and emotionally, of course you’re feeling a little untethered. Of course you’re feeling perhaps a little lost and not sure how to even define this next chapter. You know, one thing I’ve learned, in my experience, is that for all of us, no matter what age we’re at, change can be incredible, it can be so exciting, it can be so good for us in retrospect, but transitions, my goodness they are tough.

So I know your question is about how do I figure out where do I go from here? And here’s the good news, you have wisdom within you. You have answers in there. I suspect that you’ve spent so many years focused on taking care of other people, including your son, that you’re just not in touch with what your true desires are anymore. And I love that you highlighted, you know, our mind, your mind kicks up, “Oh, well, maybe I’m too old,” but then the truth came through. No, you’re young, you’ve got so much life ahead of you. And so what I want to share today is really two tools that will help you find that clarity that you crave so you can start to dream into and take action on what’s next in your life. So the first thing that I want to share with you is actually from Everything is Figureoutable. Now, Ellen, I don’t know if you got a copy of my book, but I am going to sign this one and send it to you.

And here’s what I need you to do. I want you to read the whole damn thing, but most importantly, you need to focus on chapter six. It’s called “Define Your Dream.” This chapter is like a supercharger for clarity. I am not kidding. People on Amazon write so many different reviews specifically about this particular chapter, because it is like a supercharger for figuring out what you want and then helping yourself make an action plan to get it. So I want to give you one tool right now that you can get started with until this little puppy makes it to you in the mail.

There’s a prompt in here that I’ve used so many times in my life and so many times in my business that has transformed everything. In a business context, it’s led to multi-million ideas, and in a life context, oh my goodness, I can’t even tell you how many things it’s helped me shift. And it all comes back to tapping into that wisdom that I already have in my heart that I wasn’t really aware of. So what you’re going to need is a journal or just a notebook or a piece of paper, and I want you to give yourself at least 15 to 20 minutes of uninterrupted time with no cell phones around, no things ringing or dinging, no televisions, no nothing. I just need you to put yourself in a place where it can be kind of quiet, where you’re really comfortable, maybe you have a little cup of tea or cup of coffee or something stronger if that’s what you’re into, whatever floats your boat. And you’re going to use this sentence stem to start to unearth what Ellen might really want to focus on in this next chapter of her life.

So the sentence stem goes like this, “Wouldn’t it be cool if…” Dot, dot, dot. So I want you to write down on the paper, wouldn’t it be cool if, and then whatever springs up in your mind, in your heart, I just want you to write it down. So wouldn’t it be cool if I lived in Hawaii? Wouldn’t it be cool if I could solve world hunger? Wouldn’t it be cool if I had platinum blonde hair? I don’t know, I’m just making stuff up off the top of my head, but what this exercise does is it starts activating your imagination, it starts dusting off that ability you have to dream that I suspect may have been put on the back burner for so many years because you’ve been focused on so many other people because you’re so responsible and you’re so loving and you’re such a good person. But now my friend Ellen, now is the time for you to rediscover what’s in your heart. And what would really be cool for you to focus on in this next chapter.

And I promise you, if you play with this prompt, “Wouldn’t it be cool if…” and you let yourself dream without editing, without squashing something down, because you feel like, “Oh, that’s impossible. That can never happen.” No, we don’t do that in brainstorming. We let everything down on the page. I promise you, you will start to unearth something that’s going to make you go, “Oh, that feels amazing. Could I really do that? Could I really be that? Could I really pursue that?” And you’re going to get like little tinglies, the arm hair will stand up, all that kind of good stuff, but it will only happen if you give yourself this ability to play with this prompt and do it until you can’t write anymore.

So it’s worked wonders for me. I know it will work wonders for you, and I absolutely want you to stay in touch with me and let me know what comes of this. So Ellen, that was my A to your Q, I really do hope it helps.

And now for you watching, I’m curious. A, have you read Everything is Figureoutable? Have you done all the exercises in chapter six? And if not, it’s okay, you can start with this prompt right now, “Wouldn’t it be cool if…” In fact, if you’ve had trouble identifying what’s next in your career or in your life, why don’t you answer that question right now in the comments below? I would love to hear it. Now until next time, stay on your game and keep going for your big dreams because the world really does need that very special gift that only you have. Thank you so much for tuning in, and I’ll catch you next time on The Marie Forleo Podcast and on MarieTV.

Hey, you having trouble bringing your dreams to life? Well, guess what? The problem isn’t you. It’s not that you’re not hardworking or intelligent or deserving, it’s that you haven’t yet installed the one key belief that will change it all. Everything is Figureoutable. It’s my new book and you can order it now at EverythingisFigureoutable.com.