From Foster Care to the NFL: How to Beat the Odds with Anthony Trucks

In this episode of MarieTV, we do have some adult language. So if you do have little ones around, grab your headphones now.

Anthony Trucks:

I had done too much in the dark for you to take what was mine in the light now. Like, I own this moment. And so I think a lot of us, we miss that. We’re wanting this belief, but it came because I showed up, I did the work. I got the belief from the time spent and then investment, my return was that confidence and belief.

Marie Forleo:

Hey, it’s Marie Forleo, and welcome to another episode of MarieTV and The Marie Forleo Podcast. And you are in for such a treat today. If you ever feel like you’re working really hard towards your dreams, and you just keep bumping up against the ceiling or you can’t figure out why everything’s not coming together, my guest today has the answer. Anthony Trucks is a former NFL Athlete, American Ninja Warrior on NBC, and he’s an international speaker. He’s been featured in Success Magazine, on Netflix, and Amazon Prime. And he’s the host of the Aww Shift Podcast and the founder of Identity Shift Coaching.

A loving father, he’s a passionate dog dad, he’s a man of faith, and lives with this family in California. Anthony, thank you so much for being here. I got to say, I love your book, Identity Shift. It’s so good. I can’t wait to dive into it. And congratulations.

Anthony Trucks:

Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate it. I’m happy to be here. It’s a very full-circle moment for me, I’m not going to lie.

Marie Forleo:

Tell me more. What do you mean?

Anthony Trucks:

Well, so when I first was introduced to this work was by a friend, Brendon. And at that time, you just consume everything. You’re like, “I’m going to get all the information.” And I happened across your work. And it was funny because at the time, I grabbed it, and it’s like, you’re typically like, “Hey ladies,” and it’s all women and it’s pink and it’s cute. And I was like, “I don’t care. I love what she’s talking about.” So I actually joined B-School years ago, like 2015 maybe.

Marie Forleo:

Come on.

Anthony Trucks:

I watched every video, did everything. I loved it. And it was definitely one of the early on helpers for me to start the online coaching I do now.

Marie Forleo:

I love that. Thank you for sharing that. And I just want to tell you, I had so much fun reading your book. I was actually going to tell you this off camera, but I’m going to tell you on, the storytelling in the beginning is fantastic.

Anthony Trucks:

Thank you.

Marie Forleo:

I actually have more ideas for you that I’m going to share off camera.

Anthony Trucks:

Oh cool.

Marie Forleo:

But I just want to say for everyone watching, if you don’t yet have Anthony’s book, Identity Shift, we’re going to talk more about it today, but you really need to read it and pay extra special attention to that opening story because you have a real gift there, my friend. I have not seen that from a lot of folks and it’s something that I want to see grow even further into the future.

Anthony Trucks:

Oh cool. Cool.

Marie Forleo:

So, with that said, talking about stories, first of all, this notion of identity, I could not agree more.

Every time I find myself creating a new program, writing a book, doing any kind of deep work with myself, I come back to that piece, because it really is that pivotal. If we don’t shift who we believe we are or what we believe we are capable of, nothing else is going to work. All the external stuff just stays on the surface. And I can’t wait to unpack this with you. But before we go there, let’s talk about your story because it’s extraordinary. Let’s go back to when you were a child, and you and your beautiful siblings, you were put in foster care.

Anthony Trucks:

Yeah.

Marie Forleo:

And in the book you shared some staggering statistics. I’m going to repeat them here, that in the prison system, 75% are actually foster kids and only 1% or less of foster kids graduate from college.

Anthony Trucks:

Yeah.

Marie Forleo:

And that just broke my heart.

Anthony Trucks:

Yeah, it’s tough.

Marie Forleo:

So can you tell us about your story and the lessons and the growth that came from that?

Anthony Trucks:

Yeah, yeah. So it’s one of those things where there’s a statement that I love, I found years later and it goes, “A smooth sea makes not a skilled sailor.” And I think later on in life, I’ve come to this realization that I did not like what happened, but I have a great appreciation for it. And so yeah, that 75% of prison inmates in America are former foster kids. Because I think we all go through what I experienced early on, which was, I was given away by the person who was supposed to love me and care for me the most, I was put into these situations where I’m a paycheck, which means as long as I don’t die in this home, they get a paycheck for me. And there’s no social media, there’s no videos. There’s no…

And as foster kids, we want to go home to our parents. So we’ll create these stories typically, to be able to think like, “Oh, if I’m not here, they’ll send me home.” They won’t. So they don’t know what’s truth or being made up by the kid. And so when I tell them like, “Hey, I’m being forced to chase chickens and to earn meals.” They think I’m lying, but I really had to do that to earn meals, and if I didn’t catch one, I didn’t eat. If I stole food in the middle of the night, I got beat.

There’s a house where I was put in shopping carts and pushed down hills, forced to lick the bottom of people’s shoes till my tongue bled. And that’s just heinous stuff that if you tell a social worker, they’re like, “That can’t be real.” But it was real. And so like that was my upbringing. I believe that feeling and experience and emotion that I had, all of us that have that experience have, and we desire to have retribution and we don’t want people in. So I think it creates a really bad recipe for individuals who end up doing criminal acts because, well, nobody cares about me, not even the person who’s supposed to love me, and I want the rest of the world to feel the pain I do, so I’m going to go do X, Y, and Z.

Marie Forleo:

Yeah. I mean, just seeing who you are today, who you’ve become, what you’ve experienced, it is extraordinary. And it feels like this identity shift, which you’ve articulated so beautifully and brilliantly in the book, is something that has been stirring in you, right?

Anthony Trucks:

Yeah.

Marie Forleo:

For many, many years. Tell us about when you did land in a home where you did start to get that unconditional love.

Anthony Trucks:

Yeah, yeah. It was, it’s the last home, it was my sixth foster home. I was six years old, landed in this family, and it was the first time I’ve been in a family that didn’t look like me. So I’m a black man, this is an all-white family, really poor, but what we lacked in like financials, we had in love. You know, we had a good anchored, I guess, family. I don’t know how to explain it. My mom was always joking and had a lot of just funny jokes, but we didn’t have much money, and so we’d do stuff, but we didn’t know.

When you’re a kid like that, you don’t know you’re poor until you go to school and these kids have more than you. So I had that weird dynamic. But the funny thing is, I think that my upbringing actually was a benefit to me in a certain area. Because most people say, “Oh, black kid shouldn’t be with a white family because they don’t know how to raise a black kid in this community and society.” And it’s odd that I’ve found a different perspective on society. So this family, they loved me, and I think it’s one of the big things, it was the first piece. But also, there was never this separation of me from them.

So when it happened at school, I was part of the unit. I’d have kids call me names and I’d come home, my mom would say like, “Hey, it’s just a bad person. That kid’s got stuff going on at home.” Right? So I didn’t frame it as that entire group of white people are all bad, it was the ability for me to see a human for a human. And so like in that area of upbringing, I did get some benefits. It definitely was an interesting dynamic because the only person in my school who looked like me, in my family who looked like me. So that was the thing.

But, you know, up until, because I wasn’t adopted until I was 14, but up until that time, I finally had this area where people loved me, and it was hard to let them love me, which was weird. I didn’t let them for a while, when I did it, it changed my life.

Marie Forleo:

Well, I mean, it makes sense. Right, Anthony? You had so much pain and so much rejection and so much that you dealt with from such a young age. So that by the time that you were 14, I would imagine there were so many incredible defenses that you had to have up…

Anthony Trucks:

Yeah.

Marie Forleo:

…in order to protect yourself, and what a beautiful blessing…

Anthony Trucks:

Yeah.

Marie Forleo:

…that you did wind up with that family that showed you a different possibility of unconditional love.

Anthony Trucks:

Very much so.

Marie Forleo:

I also loved when you wrote about a particular thing that you overheard when you were 15. And I’m wondering if you can tell that story because I think it’s another example of something that, you know, you wouldn’t necessarily expect to be a big blessing, but it turned out to be.

Anthony Trucks:

Huge. I think we all lack this gift though, we don’t get it as often as we should. And if we do hear it, we sometimes push it away or we shun the person who said it. I was 15 years old, Mr. Hal’s English class. And at this time, I tried football for two years. My adoptive mama had been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, so the family was focused on that. And I was checking out, I was actually probably headed down a path towards those statistics we mentioned earlier. And I’m in class and these two girls are talking at a table, a chair next to me, and they have no idea I’m listening.

And one girl says to the other, “Well, the reason I’m so bad is because I’m in foster care.” And it’s funny, I didn’t even notice this. Actually, I worked with a guy who unpacks stories and I bypassed this completely. He goes, “Hold on. What? What? Go back there.” And so I told him, he goes, “Do you realize that that was the moment?” I go, “What was the moment?” He goes, “That was the moment that you got the gift that made you, you.” I’m like, “How?” He goes, “Well, if you think about it, that was the excuse in your head, right?”

And he goes, “Well, what did it do?” And I said, “Well, when I heard that, it unsettled me.” And I went home. I remember looking in a mirror going, “I don’t want to have that be the excuse 20 years from now as to why I’m a bad dad or a bad husband, you know, or whatever it is.” And that was a catalyst to me waking up, because I just, I heard it and go, “Ooh, that’s an unsettling feeling.” She actually gave me this gift of a repurposing of some experience where I could say, “No, I don’t want to be my path. I want to be great.”

And so when we unpacked that, I found that that’s a gift. If you can sometimes say your excuse for not taking the leap, not launching that business, not making the ask, not asking that person out. If you hear the excuse out loud, you’d be like, “That’s a really kind of asinine, dumb excuse, really.” We don’t do that. And so I’m thankful she gave me that gift because it turned me into a whole different human because it drove me to do more.

Marie Forleo:

And tell me then about that turnaround at that age. Is that where… had you had always had dreams in terms of football…

Anthony Trucks:

Oh no.

Marie Forleo:

…and held them almost at bay like, “Oh, well that’s not for me. I don’t have what it takes to get there.” I’m curious about how that pivotal moment then launched you into the next part of your life.

Anthony Trucks:

Yeah. Well, to be honest, I had the proof at that time that I was not good at the game. That was the thing. I had earlier, like 14 years old, two years prior, I was like, “I’m going to try football, it’s going to be amazing.” And then all of a sudden, I go do it and I suck at it. Which is the thing when we always try something new, “I’m not good at this thing right now,” so the emotional feedback of, “Ooh, I don’t like this. I don’t want to keep enduring that.” So we stop. And I did that after two years.

And then I was sliding in the background. She says that statement. I remember going home and going, “No, I want to be great.” I don’t know exactly what I want to be great at, but I remember looking myself in the pupils at 15 years old, going like, “You’re going to be great.” This little kid, you know? But I made this statement and it was a different anchor decision. And so what it turned into was me asking the first question back then, “What does a great football player do?” And that was the catalyst, the very first like really, I guess, proactive identity shift I’d ever made. And so I leaned in and started doing the things that a great football player does. But it’s a difficult journey when you try to do something that you don’t feel like you are at the moment.

Marie Forleo:

Yeah. So I want to dig a little bit deeper there because I think in my own life and I think for so many folks listening right now, sometimes there’s the mistaken notion that you have to maybe believe first and a shortcut can be behaving your way into the belief, which it sounds like that could be a version of what you did, where, “Well, what does a great football player do?” Am I right?

Anthony Trucks:

Yeah. Very, very similar. They’re similar. Because the thing is belief, I think, comes from proof. Right? What proof do I have to believe? Which creates the confidence. So in those moments, I was like, “What do they do?” And here’s the thing, it’s usually met with this kind of experience. I start playing football, I’m practicing, running routes to be better next year. Teammates make fun of me, “You’re slow. Trucks, why you running, man? You can’t catch a football, butter fingers.” You know? So this stuff starts coming out. But I stayed the course, I kept doing my thing, and I leaned back in. And it felt out of character, which is, man, it’s one area where I think all my life I’ve always been told out of character is bad, “Don’t don’t act out of character.” Right?

But I’m like, “Well, what if Bob’s a mean guy and all of a sudden Bob’s nice to the neighbors? It’s out of character, but it’s good.”

Marie Forleo:

Yes.

Anthony Trucks:

So back then I was doing these things that were out of character, but they were positive. And so what’s interesting is, the more I did these things, one, the better I got, but two, I got that human investment bias that we all have. If I invest in some way, I want a return. And I didn’t realize I was doing it as a kid, but the investment in a physical body, the stronger, faster, smarter, right? The return was more than physicality, it was internal.

The return was, “No, I am this guy now.” So when I came the next year, Marie, what I had done in the dark, I had done too much in the dark for you to take what was mine in the light now. Like, I own this moment. And so I think a lot of us, we miss that. We’re wanting this belief, but it came because I showed up, I did the work. I got the belief from the time spent and then investment, my return was that confidence and belief.

Marie Forleo:

That’s incredible. So fast forward us, take us to you dreaming of and becoming a member of the NFL. How did that… Yeah. Get us there.

Anthony Trucks:

Oh. That’s like an accident, I’m not going to lie. It sounds weird. It’s not, but it is. I’ve always been a guy, like when I was a kid, I didn’t have much, right, so I’ve always looked at life as like, “I’m playing in bonus rounds. I got a family and I got a house and I got a family I can go to. So, okay, anything now is extra bonus rounds.” So I’m always like, “What’s the next thing?” So I was in high school, got a college scholarship, got to go play at Oregon. I had a kid at 20 years, met my real dad at 20 years old. It was a really interesting bubble. But then, you know, after a few years, you progressed on, and now it’s like, “All right, what’s the next thing?” Well, when you are dominant in college, the next thing is the NFL.

So now I get a chance to knock on the door of the greatest level in the world for my sport. And it’s a really big door, and the knocker’s heavy. It’s not easy to get in. And I got in. And I remember being in that situation, it’s crazy, I had some of those same feelings of like, “Do I belong here?” At one point, most people don’t know this, my rookie year, I was 20 feet away from the meeting room with all the coaches and telling them I was going to quit and go home, literally. I had called my wife, I had called my agent, I had called my college coach, said, “Hey, is my scholarship there? Hey, love, I’m quitting.” And my agent’s like, “Hey, I’m going home.”

And they’re all like, “What are you talking about? This is not Anthony.” But it felt so out of sorts, I was like, “I don’t want to do this.” And I had to have a conversation serendipitously with a guy who happened to wander, run across my path, and had a really deep convo that kind of sparked a new perspective of how I’m going to move forward and lean me back into it. But yeah, like even in the NFL, having done well in college, I still had this lack of, “I belong here.”

Marie Forleo:

I’m curious, what was that conversation that you had? I would imagine if you were on the edge of quitting, right, of giving up, resigning, getting out of this, and you had already told, it sounds like, your wife…

Anthony Trucks:

Everybody.

Marie Forleo:

…your agent, and you were about to kind of walk up and knock on that door and say, “Hey, I’m done.” What turned it around in that conversation?

Anthony Trucks:

Yeah. What’s weird is it was sparked by, I had this necklace of my son that it was like this engraved dog tag, it was sketched in there with the laser, from a mall in Oregon where I went to college. And I lost that at practice one day somehow. I’m just like, I was like, “Man, I miss my wife, I miss my son.” It feels like there’s that pulling separation because I’ve always had this family in college, you know? And so we sat down and he’s like, “Hey, tell me your story, man.” So I told him a lot of the story I told you, and he goes, “You’ve got through so much to get here. This is nothing compared to that.”

He goes, this is a real question, he goes, “So what are you going to tell your son in 20 years when he asks why you quit football?” Yeah. And I was like, “Ooh.” I was like, “I don’t know.” He says, “If you want your son to listen to anything you have to say at any point, you can’t go home.” So he’s like, “You have to lean in and realize you’re not leaning in just to get through it, but you could possibly make this team and do well.” Right? So I was like, “Argh.” You know? And part of me is like, “I’m going to go make a choice.” And I remember going back upstairs and sitting there and going, “All right, what do I got to lose? I’m not going to die. I’ve gone through a lot.” So I leaned back in.

And this is the crazy thing. So it was the middle of double days, this was like the first practice in between the first and second practice, I go back to practice for the second day. Now, I was about to quit and I wasn’t going to go to practice. I walk in the locker room and hanging on my locker is the dog tag with my son’s picture. Someone had found it from the groundskeepers, said, “Hey who’s is this?” Somebody saw me wearing it, put it on my locker. So if I had left, I’d never get that back. It was like God saying, “Good choice.”

Marie Forleo:

Absolutely, God saying, “Good choice.” Okay. Now, take us to, I think what you’ve been through so much already, you’re in the NFL, you decided not to quit, you’re going there. And then it’s not all rosy from there on out.

Anthony Trucks:

No, it’s not.

Marie Forleo:

Tell us what happens next.

Anthony Trucks:

Yeah. NFL stands for Not For Long, it’s the going thing, you get in, you get out, man. It was, I had it rough years. So I got cut the first season game for the Buccaneers, went home and did a bunch of workouts. Got picked up week 13 by the Redskins, and then was there until the next year. Got cut at the very first season game too, which was horrible. And then I had an opportunity to go with the Steelers, and I go there and I’m finally making it. I’m second string behind starters, you know? Which tells you, you’re about to be playing this season, I was on special teams at least.

And the first pre-season game, I’m in there, second half I want to say, I can’t recall 100%, but I remember a play starts and I trip over a teammate and I go down and as I’m getting up, the guy who’s supposed to block me jumps on my back and tears my left shoulder. Now, I didn’t know at the time I was hurt because the adrenaline’s going, it’s a football game, everything hurts, you know? But the next morning, I couldn’t lift my arm. Go on to eventually, the season’s over, I have surgery and eventually, the career’s over.

And so, it’s interesting, whenever you have this thing you’ve done for a long period of time, and I know you can at attest to it, you had your career before, your dance stuff you used to do, all that stuff, right, at some point in time, you wake up and you realize that you aren’t doing that thing you used to do. And it’s a heavy moment like because it could be a choice. Right? For me, it was by chance, it was an injury and it was a detrimental one. But for some people it’s like, I send my kids to college, I leave this job, I start this business. But when you wake up and you go, “I can’t do that anymore,” it hits you.

And I hung around after that, first couple months. Like, okay. But little by little, it trickled into a really, really dark place after the game. And it was like the darkest, we’ll call it identity crisis, I experienced and have experienced to date in my life.

Marie Forleo:

Yeah, I mean, well, first of all, I think our society too, we’re kind of drenched in this soup of what you do is who you are.

Anthony Trucks:

Unfortunately.

Marie Forleo:

And our culture is such, it’s so weighted towards these ideas of success and achievement and, hey, I’m a product of it. You’re a product of it. So many people that are listening right now are also a product of it, which makes those shifts and those changes that much more of an existential crisis.

Anthony Trucks:

Big time.

Marie Forleo:

We’re like, “Well, who am? If I can’t do the thing that I’ve been doing for so long, do I have value? Can I contribute? Who am I? Who’s going to love me? Am I even worth it?“It does go to a very dark place and you start to layer in trauma from childhood, you start to layer in all of these different emotional wounds and layers that we all carry with us throughout our different circumstances. And it does create a stormy, dark mix, a really tough place.

Anthony Trucks:

It does. Really dark holes.

Marie Forleo:

What I love is, you are such an extraordinary example of incredible courage and resilience. So, okay, so, NFL career, over, right?

Anthony Trucks:

Yeah.

Marie Forleo:

Done. Dark night of the soul.

Anthony Trucks:

Yeah.

Marie Forleo:

Take us through where we’re going next. Because again, this isn’t like the end of it.

Anthony Trucks:

I wish.

Marie Forleo:

Yeah, exactly. I’ll let you keep going.

Anthony Trucks:

Yeah, yeah. So I come home. And whenever you have that hole, you try and fill it. Viktor Frankl calls it the existential vacuum, in Man’s Search for Meaning. But the idea is, we try to fill this thing. And unfortunately, when you have this gaping hole, most of us put the wrong things in there. We put other partners in there, we put drugs in there, we put drinking in there, we take trips. All the stuff that distracts us and it’s a noisy life. And I don’t like being alone because I’m alone, I’m never alone, and I don’t like who I’m alone with. And so, for me, I tried to lean into the gym. Now, I had two more kids with my wife, so now we have three children. My wife’s at home with two brand new babies, twins, and a four-year-old.

And I’m at this gym trying to fill the hole with a gym business, “I’m going to be amazing at this thing.” Right? And next thing I know I’m at this place where I’m not doing good in business because I have no business sense, I’ve just come out of the NFL, I don’t know anything. Right? I have a wife I’m not present with and neglecting, and she’s feeling that. And so she ends up, you know, stepping out on me. I have this situation where I’m not a good father because I’m at the gym all day long. I’m getting out of shape and I’m eating my stress away. And I have no anchoring to a sense of strength because the football thing is gone. I’ve been doing it for so long, that was me, and it’s gone.

So the way I explain it is, everything that made me, me was no longer present. So you ask the question, “Well, if nothing is here, why am I here? If this is life after the game, I don’t want any part of this.” And so I quite literally got to a moment of, it just hit all of a sudden. I think you go through this foggy moment when you start having these things compile, and all of a sudden, the fog clears and you realize there’s a cliff right here. And I remember my buddy had said something, he’d say he noticed me in a fog and he goes, “Hey, this is your reality.”

And those words, like it hit me. And at one night, I put a text out to my friends and family said, “Please tell my kids who their father was.” And I was off. And the goal was to go and find a store and drink rat poison, but it was like 10 o’clock at night, so thankfully, no stores were open. I ended up stopping an hour out of my town at a gas station and just sitting there. And I’m thankful that nothing was open, obviously, but I’m also thankful that the emotion was able to subside. GPS. The cops found me by GPS. And I can obviously talk, so I was like, “Oh, I’m fine.” I talked it off. “Well, I’ll head home.”

So I headed home. And that was, man, that was the first step of the climb out of the bottom. Because what most people don’t know is I drove up to the house with 30 people, friends and family standing there. So not only did I have like this dark feeling, but now I got this overwhelming shame of like, these people are out looking for me and it was just heavy. I just remember like it was a long weekend, we’ll call it, Marie, a very long weekend. And it was somewhere… The hard part and what turned into this beautiful blessing, is a seed that got planted, was come Monday, it was the day of the gym. I’ve got to go back to work. Right?

And now, there’s no playbook for how you go back to life after you’ve told people that you don’t want to be in life. You know? So, I just go back to work. And I remember going back to work and one of my former high school teammates, a good buddy of mine still, worked for me at the gym. He takes me to the back office, he says, “Hey, I’ve got two things to tell you. One,” he says, “Don’t ever do it again in your life. I don’t know what you were thinking.” I was like, “Yeah man, I’m sorry, man. I apologize.”

He says, “Two, when I found out what was going on,” he said, “I threw up in the toilet.” I said, “Why would you throw up in a toilet?” He says, “Well, I thought I’d lost a hero.” And it was so heavy. It was this thing of like a hero. Because you don’t hear your friends tell you that. What are you talking about? He goes, “At the end of the day, in this community, we know what you have gone through, we know what you’ve accomplished and what you’re still doing, man.” He says, “You are probably accidentally an inspiration to more people than you know.”

And that was a seed. It was a seed that maybe something good can come out of all the crazy of my life. Now, it was not time for me to water that seed, because I shouldn’t be telling you how to live your life when I don’t want to live mine, but it was a good seed.

Marie Forleo:

Anthony, that’s a lot, and it’s so good. And I’m so happy. I’m so happy that that seed got planted that day. So was that the beginning of you recognizing that, “Okay, I’ve had, you know, so many lives already. Childhood life, teenage life, NFL life, and now this new chapter coming up.” Was that where you started to imagine for yourself that, “I might have something to share with other people that could be of value?”

Anthony Trucks:

A little bit. You know, I think whenever it was planted, it was just floated around. And unfortunately I went back into a fog of just letting it stay around for a lot of years, and it took three more years. Three more years and then actually the seed got watered. And so while I was in the background, you know, I was coaching kids and you know, adults that I was training. You’d say some things. I’d get happier over the years, you know, and so I’d say stuff, but it wasn’t this thing where I wanted to go broader to the world with this story until April 15th, 2014, which is when I was sitting in a hospital room with my mom, my dad and my grandma, and my mom took her final breaths.

And it’s very, very morbid because it’s final. Life is done. She passed at 47.

Marie Forleo:

Wow, so young.

Anthony Trucks:

And it was this weird… so young. Seriously, so young. And I remember thinking, I was 30, I was like, “Man, I could be here for less years than I’ve already been here and it seems like it’s been so fast.” And so in my head I’m like, “Well, this woman was the reason why I’m not a statistic, and she loved on me.” And I remember I’d made two promises prior to her passing. Like an hour before, I had my private time, and I said, “Mom, I will fix my life because I know that you didn’t do what you did to let me be in this kind of fog of life.” I said, “Two, when I do, I’ll find a way to give it back to the world, genuinely.”

All I knew at the time was fitness, I’m like, “I’m going to do it in fitness.” And wouldn’t you know it, man, God has weird things happening because 2014 is when I happened to cross Brendon Burchard, your work. And so I think what ended up happening was God had this happening. He gave me this lesson and that was the water for that seed that had happened so many years earlier. And it opened up this perspective of, “Well, maybe I can talk about these emotions.”

Because not many African-American men who played professional sports, we don’t emotionally express. And so there’s not this example of a strong man who can show his weakness. So I think there was something there of a seed. And I think at the same time, all the stuff that God had put in my life was now meaningful to the rest of the world. And so I’ve spent my time, first I’ve had to fix my life which it didn’t happen smooth. I wish it would’ve happened smooth because it took me getting to a point in 2016 where I finally woke up and looked at myself again and go, “I hate this guy, to be honest to you.” That’s like, “I hate this guy.”

Marie Forleo:

Yeah. Yeah.

Anthony Trucks:

And that was the biggest internal personal shift, but that one led to me being able to do what I do now.

Marie Forleo:

And I think, you know, you write about it so candidly in your book, and, you know, I know you and your wife went through a divorce and then you actually came full circle around to coming back in each other’s lives. And I thought that was brilliant. My parents, honestly, I think my parents got divorced like two or three times to be honest with you, came back around. But I think there’s something beautiful in that because even if and when, and all of us humans, we make mistakes, we do things that we are not proud of, we do things that we regret, we do things where we hurt other people and people that we love.

And what I loved about you sharing that story was that it’s not always final and there is grace and forgiveness.

Anthony Trucks:

Yeah.

Marie Forleo:

And sometimes things can be mended and become even stronger than they were initially.

Anthony Trucks:

Oh yeah. 100%. We are a shining example of that by all means. We are not perfect, we have our ups and downs. We are a married couple as two humans living life together, but other humans in our house. But there is something, I think that whenever I had those moments where I started looking at my life different, my mom passed, it was actually like the catalyst to start doing better in other areas. And so the first focus was business, “I’m going to get better at business.” And I did well. We started building up, doing great financially, doing a lot of stuff, but I didn’t have my heart life done.

I had slept with multiple partners, to be honest, as a man of faith, it was not in line with my faith. And I woke up one day just like, “I would not want my daughter to be with a guy like me. I wouldn’t have my boys aspire to be like me. My mom would not approve, my God ain’t letting me into heaven like this.” And so that was like, “Something’s got to change.” And it took a good 10 months of me digging deep and actually making the real like the first calculated shift of who I was to ask the question again of, “Well, what does a good husband do? What does a good coach do? What does a good dad do? What does a good follower of Christ do? What does he do?” And try to lean into those things like I did when I was 15.

And that’s how my marriage came back together, and the business started blossoming, I started doing TV stuff and I could share the story more often. And it’s turned into where I finally made good on promise two, or promise one actually, because promise one was fix my life, but I could not have been good on promise two unless promise one was met, because I don’t think you should be telling people how to run the race if you haven’t crossed the finish line yet.

Marie Forleo:

Yeah.

Anthony Trucks:

I got to get here and go, “Oh, you know what, that left turn, I shouldn’t have made that, hey you should take a right.” But I had to get through that. And once I did, it’s like now I can come from a place of grace and power and honesty where I don’t think I could have prior to it.

Marie Forleo:

Absolutely. And so, let’s talk now about this incredible piece of work called Identity Shift. What is step number one? I think you did such an incredible job in the beginning of the book, talking about this experience that so many people have, whether they’re just at the beginning of their journey and they’re looking for that foothold to feel like, “Okay, I’m finally on that ladder of success,” whatever that means to them, or folks who maybe have achieved a bit and they feel like they’re kind of up bumping against a ceiling.

Anthony Trucks:

Yeah.

Marie Forleo:

And they start looking around and feeling like, “Gosh, everyone else seems to be going faster or they have more capacity.”

And you kind of feel like you’re stuck at a certain level. So if anyone watching right now is in either one of those situations and going like, “I’ve been trying to do all the things, but nothing seems to be working. I might need an identity shift.” Can you explain to us first of all, what that means to make an identity shift and why it’s so important, and what would step one be?

Anthony Trucks:

Yeah. So first, to understand what it means you have to understand what identity is, I guess from a really basic… And I explain to people that it’s who you are when you are not thinking about who you are. It’s just how you’re being. And being is, it’s good. We need to be in that effortless effort space because we got to live our lives. However, when you’re being, you are taking actions, as we all know, the actions build your life. So you are unintentionally building your life through an identity. And if you don’t shift the identity, what happens is the things you are doing, how you’re being, will not become that person who has those things.

And it’s very straightforward, but people think, “Well I got to learn the new stuff and buy this new course and do this.” It’s like, that’s great, all the information’s great, but if you aren’t the person to wield that tool, you won’t build that house. You have all the tools, but you’ll fall short. It’s like giving a baby a hammer, they’re not going to build a house, but give it to a construction worker, they might build a house. You know? So the first stage which most people skip, because it’s very emotionally difficult is like the first stage I went through when I was in that year of 2016, I had to really see who I was.

There’s a statement I love and it’s, it’s hard to see the label when you are inside of the jar.

Marie Forleo:

Amen.

Anthony Trucks:

And a lot of us were sitting there living our lives going, “Why can’t I achieve X, do X, have X?” And it’s like, you’re oblivious to it. We’ll call it blind spots. Right? But there are people who’ll tell us what we need to hear and we go, “Uh, they don’t support me, they don’t love me.” Well, that’s not maybe the truth, maybe they love you enough to tell you. But if you keep bumping your head up against this thing, it’s a possibility, something you’re doing is not the right thing for you.

It doesn’t mean it could be wrong or right for anybody else, but it might not be the right thing for you. We’re so fast to go to the work that we never check and see, is this my work? So maybe you don’t communicate well, maybe you don’t reciprocate well, maybe you don’t take, you know, feedback well, whatever it may be. If that’s inevitably happening as you’re just being every day and you’re unaware of it, that will keep you consistently stuck.

Marie Forleo:

Yes. And I think you give such great examples in the book too, of just again your storytelling in the beginning, genius, around this particular person who shows up late everywhere, right?

Anthony Trucks:

Yeah.

Marie Forleo:

Not keeping his word with himself, rushing out the door. There’s just kind of these habitual patterns of almost a form of self-sabotage but just like a fish in water. If that’s how you’re always operating and you don’t really shine a light on it or be willing to see like, “Oh, well, what part am I playing in how my life is actually showing up right now?” You know? Like, “What is my part? Am I not… you know, am I hitting snooze on that alarm every single morning? Am I rushing out the door? Am I throwing sugar-filled, or, you know, kind of fast food in my mouth and expecting my body to perform at a high level? Am I not listening to my spouse? Am I spending all my time on something like this (holds up cell phone) and not actually present with people?”

Anthony Trucks:

Yeah.

Marie Forleo:

And so this notion of seeing, I love how much emphasis you put on that, about getting, this is my words, somewhat excited to see your own blind spots…

Anthony Trucks:

Yeah.

Marie Forleo:

And to see the areas where you may be bumping your head against a wall and you don’t really realize it.

Anthony Trucks:

I like how you said that, because there is. I think once you get to a certain level of, I call it consciousness, you’re aware that these things you find out they’re opportunities to improve so it doesn’t become an excitement for it. I think so many people are so deathly afraid of being pointed out. There are… people will say, “Oh, I’m not perfect.” But the moment you see an imperfection, they fight you on it. It’s like, “Hold, but you just said you weren’t perfect, so what makes you think that when I say this, that’s a problem?” But that’s the thing is most people do not get excited for feedback.

Marie Forleo:

Yeah. And I think, you know, that’s an interesting… it’s an interesting statement and I believe probably it may have to do with, I mean, this has been going on for a long time, but some people, the only place that they’re looking for feedback per se is not necessarily from a gifted coach like yourself or from someone in their life that they trust and who trusts them and has their heart in a safe place, but they might be looking for it online.

Anthony Trucks:

Yeah.

Marie Forleo:

Where anybody can say anything, you know, at any time of the day and just kind of throw stuff at you, whether or not it’s accurate, or whether or not you’d even respect that person, they don’t even know you.

Anthony Trucks:

Yeah.

Marie Forleo:

So I think, and again, you talk about this in Identity Shift, it’s like having someone in your life who can help you see yourself clearly and can give you that feedback in a way that’s honest and that’s real, but that’s not designed to crush your soul.

Anthony Trucks:

Not at all. And the funny thing is, is most of us, if you look at it properly, the reason I get excited about it is now I get to see what’s now new possibilities for me. Because if I was stuck here because of this thing I wasn’t aware of, if you showed to me and I go, “Oh, it sucks, I gotta figure this out,” but if I do, “Oh, look what I can go do now.” That’s what I think is the beautiful transition people miss, it’s when we’re pointing something out, it’s not just so you can feel bad, it’s so you can fix it and see what’s newly possible.

I don’t know if it was in the book, but I tell the story about my dog. When I go to the park, he’s on a leash, he sees what’s nearby, no excitement. The moment I take his leash off and his eyes pop up to see what’s possible, he’s gone. Right? So it’s that thing where we live with a leash that’s behind our head holding us, unaware of it, but the moment it gets off and we’re aware that it’s off, there’s a ton of new possibilities.

Marie Forleo:

I love it. So, okay. Step number one is seeing.

Anthony Trucks:

Yes.

Marie Forleo:

And that’s the spot that most people don’t want to go, but it’s the most important one if we want to have an identity shift. What’s step number two?

Anthony Trucks:

Step two is shift, which is, it’s unfortunately it’s where everybody goes first, because what happens is you end up doing stuff and you get burned out, because like, “I’m doing the things, and I’m doing the things, and I’m doing the things, and why don’t I have the things?” And it’s like, “Well, because you were doing the wrong things, you didn’t see.” But if you have seen, the next stage is kind of twofold. One is I must craft what I call the ideal identity. Who is the individual who has what you want and how are they showing up?

Because if you can understand what that is, we can build a plan into it through actions. But most people don’t do that, they go, “Well, what does that person do? And what do they have? And I want that and I want to do that. I’m going to do all these little things.” And it’s like, yeah, but at the end of the day, you have to look deeper than just what you see and see how they’re showing up as a human because there’s integrity behind that. There’s honesty behind that, there’s hard work behind that.

And when you can do that, it shows up to where you can go, “Okay. If I see that as what an aspiration is, my shift work, my personalized shift plan is, I need to do this specific thing.” Because here’s where people don’t grasp, there’s a transition we’re trying to kind of cross, we call it gap. I’m going to close this identity gap. The gap is where you go from this thing I have to do, it’s dreary and it sucks and I hate it, to where I go from, I don’t want to do it to where it is incredibly difficult not to do it. There’s this weird chasm that if you can jump that…

For example, some people go, “Oh, I got to work out.” At some point you work out and you go, “I feel weird if I don’t work out today.” So, who’s going to work out and get in shape easier? Right? It’s the person who crosses that. And you first have to be able to set out the identity you’re trying to go to and then chart the path to get there. Now, this isn’t always where we start the work and actually do it, that’s the last phase of it because that’s where really the magic happens. But the shift phase is, what’s the ideal identity I want to shift into and actually look at it? And then what are the things that I must uniquely do that if I did them long enough, I could shift into that identity?

Marie Forleo:

That’s great. And I love how you articulated this notion of, it’s not like doing it, pushing yourself or forcing yourself, which is such a drain on the energy and it feels like, to your point, that’s not necessarily an identity shift, it’s almost like you’re crawling on the top of a surface and you’re trying to just grab the easy things to hope to get the outcome.

Anthony Trucks:

Mhm. Yeah.

Marie Forleo:

Versus becoming the human who does this kind of thing naturally, mostly enthusiastically, as an authentic expression of your soul. And those are two very, very different.

Anthony Trucks:

Vastly different things.

Marie Forleo:

Yep.

Anthony Trucks:

And it’s, I think it’s because everybody falls in love with the destination and not the day. Like everybody, “I want this thing.” And every day I’m presently aware of how far I am from that thing, and that’s the measuring stick. And so I’m emotionally like, “Oh, I feel it every day.” But if I fall in love with the day and the thing I’m supposed to do, because there’s things that I don’t inherently love to do, but I find joy around to doing them. My wife, she has businesses and I’m her handyman. I don’t always like to go do it. However, I’m like, “You know what, there’s some new albums I want to listen to, so I’m going to put them my ear while I’m working.”

I’m like, “I get to listen to cool music.” Or my wife and I drive out, I get to spend an hour in a car with my wife having a catch up conversation or whatever we haven’t had a chat about. I find a way to fall in love with my day. And so the day gets done, things get met and all of a sudden, I arrive at destinations. I’m like, “Oh super cool. But I want to get back to my day.” So in fact, the destination is the journey, the destination isn’t the destination.

Marie Forleo:

Yes. It’s something we talk about in our world and I always often talk about this with my team, it’s like we bring the party. Right? If there is something that needs to happen, it must happen, I’m the responsible human to do it. I’ve one or two ways to go about it. I’m either going to begrudgingly do it and complain my way with it and resist it and wish I was doing something else or embrace it like it was my idea in the first place and I’m going to have a damn good time while it’s happening.

Anthony Trucks:

Yeah. Yep. That’s how I do it.

Marie Forleo:

And that second version, right, is where not only all the magic happens, but the gorgeousness of life begins to get strong together because all of those moments equal your life. I love this. Okay, tell me about step number three. So we’ve got see, we’ve got shift.

Anthony Trucks:

Yeah.

Marie Forleo:

And where do we go next?

Anthony Trucks:

Sustain. It’s the last phase. It’s where the shift actually takes place. And I akin it to like going into a coffee shop to do work. I go to the coffee shop, I know I got to get some work done and I’m on my phone scrolling, I’m on social, right, or I’m just trying to talk to people like, “Oh, I finally noticed, I got to work on this.” So I put these things down, I try to focus, try to focus. Right? And I get in the first five, 10 minutes, I’m doing my thing, but then at some point in time, all of a sudden it drowns out and three hours goes by. And I go, “Oh, I got the emails done, this is all moving smooth. All my to-do list is done, I feel good.”

And I explain to people that if you can create a discipline system that’s set up of boundaries and structure and it could be block timers, ways to create like a cocoon, right, or a group of people around you that keep you dialed, what happens is, where the first day, week, two weeks, it feels like that, like, “Oh, I got to focus.” But after a while, all of a sudden you pop up, three months later, it’s like, “Wow, my life is better, my marriage is better, I’m in better shape, my business runs smoother.” All these things happen, but the idea is, I’m doing that while falling in love with the day.

When we do our work, I’m like, “What’s the things we got to do to get there? Okay, great. Let’s come back to the start, what’s step one look like, what’s step two look like?” And only look at this. And so the discipline system is, how can I get you to create a structure of discipline so you can love your day doing the things that you know will lead you to this end destination. Now, yes, they’re going to feel awkward, out of character, but they don’t consume your day. It might be a 15-minute thing like that, but the rest of it, it’s all moving in that direction.

And then all of a sudden you wake up and you go, “Wow, I’ve made more money, my relationship is generally closer and connected. I feel better in my body.” Those are the things that I want you to do. And people go, “Well, how do you know you made the shift?” And I go, all of us can attest to this, there’s a space in time in our past where I can go back and realize I was unsuccessful and go, “What was it like to be that because I can’t put myself back in that headspace?” When you can notice you can’t go back to that headspace, it’s apparent you’ve made that shift.

Marie Forleo:

Yes, 100%. And I love also just your reiteration of you have to fall in love with the process. There’s actually research around that, around happiness and fulfillment and people that stay so focused on the final destination or the mile marker or the goal are less likely to actually keep doing the work to get there, versus people… I think it was a study about folks showing up in the gym and whether people were like, “Okay, focus on this outcome,” or, “I’m really going to just pay attention to process. How do I feel on that treadmill?” And being there for every breath or doing those chest presses or whatever it is.

And the folks who focus on process are happier, more fulfilled and more likely to actually stick with whatever that discipline is. So it’s right on the money.

Anthony Trucks:

It’s because eventually it becomes who you are. Because we all know the person with a Facebook that a year ago was a weird like dream catcher and her cat on the face of her Facebook. And then all of a sudden she starts going to the gym and you see a water bottle picture and you see a picture of the gym. None of her yet. And then one day, three months, then you see a picture of her in the mirror because she feels better about herself. And her friends go, “Get it Karen.” And Karen’s like, “Yeah, I feel good about myself.” And the next thing you know, she’s showing views of her working out, she’s got her friends coming along…

And if you look a year ago, it’s a different person.

Marie Forleo:

Yes.

Anthony Trucks:

And so where again, it was difficult, it is now incredibly difficult for her not to do the thing she’s doing. That’s the big thing that people aren’t getting to. They see individuals like us at a high level go, “How do you do it? It looks so easy.” I’m like, “Well, first it’s not. Secondly…”

Marie Forleo:

Absolutely.

Anthony Trucks:

Yeah. “Secondly, it’s a different level of how I approach the work.” I call it effortless effort. It takes effort, 100% does, but it almost feels smooth and effortless because it’s me staying in alignment with who I see myself to be identity-wise. And when you’ve crafted it and shifted into it, I want to stay here, therefore, I do this work with joy to stay here.

Marie Forleo:

Let’s talk about what you did, which was brilliant, at the beginning of your journey of getting into coaching and speaking and being able to feel that effortless effort with your ability to present because I think it’s awesome. You did a Nightly 90 video every night, right, for 3.65 years.

Anthony Trucks:

Yeah.

Marie Forleo:

Tell us about that because I come across, and you know this as a B-Schooler, so many folks who want to share something.

Anthony Trucks:

Yeah.

Marie Forleo:

Have an idea that’s going to make a difference to others, but they’ll say, “Huh. I’m not good on camera.”

Anthony Trucks:

Yeah.

Marie Forleo:

And I’m like, “I didn’t, I wasn’t born this way.”

Anthony Trucks:

Nobody was, yeah.

Marie Forleo:

We built this. So tell us about that experience.

Anthony Trucks:

Well, I think what it was is I realized when I go talk and speak, I did the ums and uhs and ah, ah, ah. I was like, “I don’t want to do it anymore.” I also want to figure out how can I create content and ideas from anything anytime. And I wanted to have it be something where I could create an exercise in consistency to create trust with people who were following me. So I was like, “Well, what’s the attention span of people?” At the time, it was like 90 seconds. I’m like, “Oh, well, for 90 seconds a night, I’ll just pull my camera out and talk.” And I was like, “I’ll do it for a month.” And then a month turned into two…

And here’s a crazy thing, no one really paid attention to them for the first year of me doing it, just so you know, there wasn’t this immediate feedback, people loved it, I’d have like 15, 20 views, and like on day, 370 or something, all of a sudden I got like 300 views on the video, I’m like, “Oh, what did I say? What was so great about it?” But what it was is it crossed that gap, it kind of tripped over to where people were like, “This guy, he’s real, he’s consistent. I can trust he’s going to be there.”

There’s faith, but here’s the thing, every one of those videos of me being horrible and stumbling and building up to it, it got to the point where I now developed this skill that you say, people think you’re born with. No, I was developed. And then after that, I just wanted to see, can I hang on and keep doing it? Now, 1,333 is where I stopped. It’s a magic mental number for me, 333. But at the end of the day, that the thing was, I just wanted to find a way to develop a skill, to develop trust and to be able to see if that was something that could turn to something more. And it did, it’s allowed me to speak in different capacities like this, I can talk and podcasts and not stumble over words.

You could give me any item in your house right now, and I’ll give you a 90 second video on it that could be, you know, a marketing, but it taught me these skills that are honestly what people pay me for now. It wasn’t just something I figured out or learned from a book. It was the actions to where now I identify, like I just did, as I’m the guy, you can say, “Hey, give me 90 seconds on this shoe,” and I got it, but I identify as it because I did that work.

Marie Forleo:

It’s incredible. And just technically, did you post them on YouTube? Was it on Instagram? Or where did you post?

Anthony Trucks:

I had a 10-minute process. I could record it, edit it, and load it to seven platforms in under 10 minutes.

Marie Forleo:

What? Anthony Trucks.

Anthony Trucks:

I had a really quick… I still got a video somewhere of it on my Vimeo, where I actually, I show people, like episode 200 or something, I was like, “Here’s how I do it.” And I film myself and you literally are watching a screen recording of me doing it in real time to record the video. And I had this process that was on my website, it was on both my Facebook, my YouTube, Twitter, I think it went to LinkedIn, seven different places. And the editing was quick, it was in something called InShot, I think it was the app I would use. And that was it. Bang, bang, bang, got it out and up. And so it didn’t take a lot of time, it was just the consistency to do it.

Marie Forleo:

I think consistency is such a superpower and people will often ask me because I’ve been doing this for like 20 years and they’re like, “What’s your secret?” I’m like, “I am consistent as all get out.” If you don’t hear from me on a Tuesday and it’s not our kind of stated company downtime, you know what I mean, where we’re like, we take two weeks off in the summer, we take two weeks off in the winter, I’m like, “Girlfriend’s dead. She went to the next adventure.” You know what I mean?

Anthony Trucks:

Yeah. Because you hitting it every Tuesday. Yeah.

Marie Forleo:

I’ll be showing up. But it is, it is. It becomes a part of your identity.

Anthony Trucks:

Yes.

Marie Forleo:

And for me, sharing consistency, sharing consistently has become part of my identity where it’s like, come hell or high water, there’s something coming out, even if I’m just waving hi, even if I’m, you know, whatever. And I think people underestimate the power of that and the momentum. Right?

Anthony Trucks:

It’s huge. Yeah. Well, two nights ago, so I do a daily podcast, weekdays, called The Shift Starter Daily. And I don’t know what it was, I was actually out in Florida, about to speak for Russell Brunson’s event just yesterday. And it was, I don’t know what it was, somehow I woke up at 3:00 in the morning, and in my head, my head goes, “You didn’t record the podcast episode.” So half asleep, I pull my phone out on Anchor, go on record and it’s 3:00 in the morning. I record it, get the little quick edit, it’s up, it’s out. It took like 10 minutes, I’m back to sleep.

And that’s an example of I identify as the guy who does a weekly, daily podcast. So because of that, I’m going to stay in alignment. Most people are like, “Ugh, I’ll go back to sleep, I’ll do it tomorrow.” No, no, no, I’m not going to be able to sleep, I’m going to lose sleep if I don’t do it. So it’s because of who I am as a consistent human that it has got to get done come hell or high water.

Marie Forleo:

Yes. I love that. I love this. As we wrap up today, is there one message or one challenge, or one change in thought in terms of someone’s identity that you want to leave people with?

Anthony Trucks:

Yeah. The first and only thing that really stands out that’s, oh man, it’s the one gateway that if you can navigate this, you should be golden, and I call this everyone’s greatest obstacle, E-G-O, ego. It’s the area that so many people that will not push it away, so they never give themselves permission to improve. When I came out of the NFL, I had this ego that was like, “I’m the best? I’m the greatest.” Right? But reality was, I didn’t know business, I didn’t know relationship, I didn’t know. I was still a kid with kids. You know? And that ego was a hindrance on me, and for a lot of people it is. Now, it has a good place, which is the ego for us is like, “I’m consistent, I will protect that with my actions.”

But there are parts of my identity that don’t need a protection, they need to be killed and then reborn. Right? So everybody listening, the first step for you is not going to be going to see something, right, it’s going to say, “Can I let my ego take a break for a minute and hear what needs to be told to me, and so I can give myself permission to improve in that?” And then go and shift and sustain. But if you don’t drop the ego, you can’t start the process properly.

Marie Forleo:

Anthony, you are such a gift. Thank you so much for this beautiful book.

Anthony Trucks:

Welcome.

Marie Forleo:

Thank you so much for who you are as a human being and for making the time to be on the show today, it was really a joy.

Anthony Trucks:

Seriously cool. I’m not going to lie, it’s super cool. I’m going to tell my wife. Funny thing, my wife had a window of time, she wanted to do this stuff too, and she joined your program years and years ago, but she does something else now. But yeah, so you’ve been in both our lives. Thank you.

Marie Forleo:

Aww, well, please give her my very best. And I’m excited to see all of the incredible work that continues to pour out of that brilliant heart of yours.

Anthony Trucks:

Thank you.

Marie Forleo:

Isn’t Anthony just awesome? I really enjoyed this conversation. And once again, I do highly recommend his book Identity Shift, I think it’s amazing. Now, I’m curious, what’s the biggest insight that you’re taking away from this episode? And most importantly, how can you put that insight into action starting right now? As always, the best conversations happen over at the magical land of marieforleo.com. So head on over there and leave a comment now. And if you haven’t already, while you’re there, be sure to subscribe and become an MF Insider.

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