Hiding In Your Comfort Zone? The #1 Way To Override Your Fear

In this episode of MarieTV, we do have some adult language. So if you do have little ones around, grab your headphones now.

Marie: Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV. The place to be if you want to create a business and life you love. And this is the MarieTV Call-In Show where we take live callers, we answer some questions, we have a really good time. All of Team Forleo is here. Greg is here who’s amazing, always. He did this cute low pony. We’ll talk about that another time. But I say, we get started.

Greg: Roll it.

Marlena: Hello.

Marie: Hi, is this Marlena?

Marlena: This is she.

Marie: It’s Marie Forleo and you’re on the MarieTV Live Call-In Show.

Marlena: No way.

Marie: Yes way, mama. So you’re here with myself and Gregory and all of Team Forleo. Let us know your question and we will do our best to help you out.

Marlena: Hello everyone.

Greg: Hello.

Marie: Hi.

Marlena: I just want to say you guys are a really admirable team.

Marie: Aww, thank you so much. That means the world. And all the rest of Team Forleo who is not in the studio today, that means the world to them, so thank you.

Marlena: Thank you. So yeah, a little bit about me. I’m a two-time cancer survivor. My most recent experience was with breast cancer. It resulted in me having a double mastectomy and so after this experience… So I’m a little nervous. I’m a little starstruck.

Marie: It’s totally okay, girl. We’re here with you and you’re doing great.

Marlena: So after this experience I designed this temporary tattoo and a variety of products. For example, temporary tattoo nipples. So a woman could get online and order these wonderful products and have them delivered to her door. Try them on in the privacy of her own home and it’s just this wonderful, fantastic product that I’ve come up with. So I did all the footwork. I have my trademarks, I have my website, I’ve got my hashtag. Now all I need to do is hit go. Literally, hit go and make this website live. And I keep coming up with all of these reasons not to do it. What’s up with me?

Marie: Oh, my love, my love. First of all, I gotta say so many things to you. I wish I could reach through the camera, the computer, the telephone, and just give you this enormous hug. You are so strong, you are so beautiful inside and out, and I am so grateful that you are here with us. You are such an inspiration to so many – so that I needed to say. And you just got some confetti thrown at you from Gregory. So that’s piece number one.

Piece number two is what you’re experiencing right now is so normal. It is so normal. I cannot tell you how many times over the course of my career that I’ve run into brilliant, incredible, creative, motivated, purpose-driven people, who find themselves having so much trouble hitting that go button. Launching, sending the email, picking up the phone, doing that one thing that in their heart they know is that important next step. So you’re not alone there.

But what I want to tell you today, my friend, is your business… And by the way, I took a little peek over at your Instagram and I took a little peak at what you’ve done and Team Forleo, we’ve looked at it too, and all of us, our jaws hit the ground. It is so stunning. It is so incredible. It is so unique and what you’re doing is so important. So I really need you to hear me when I say this, okay?

Marlena: Okay.

Marie: The whole thing that you need to train yourself to do, my love, is to act before you think. Act before you think. You’ve done all of this incredible footwork and the only thing that’s stopping you is these little stories up in here. But I will tell you this, you have to train yourself to override the voice in your head that says, “I can’t.” Or, “I’m afraid” or, “It’s not the right time” or “What are people gonna think of me?” Or yada, yada, yada, yada. You have to behave your way into success.

I do this. I’ll give you some examples. Different but the same at the core level. There are many, many times when this woman, she does not want to get up at the crack of dawn when it’s dark outside and it’s cold. I don’t want to get out of my cozy bed. I don’t want to go to the gym. There are a million times when I can hear the voice in my head saying, “You don’t wanna do it. You don’t wanna do it.” And you know what I do? I act before I think. I go put on my training shoes. I walk over, go make my little bulletproof coffee. I start going through the motions and before you know it, I am doing the thing that my mind previously told me, “You don’t really want to do it. It’s too early, stay in bed.” So you gotta train yourself to act before you think.

And I’m gonna tell you something. I’m gonna give you a little challenge right here. You ready for it, mama?

Marlena: I’m ready.

Marie: What is the thing that you have to do in order to, in your estimation, hit go on this business? Is it literally like hitting a button to publish the website? Is it something else that you can articulate? Something concrete and specific you can tell us right now?

Marlena: It’s literally hitting the button to push go on the website. I keep looking at it. I’ve revised it maybe 10 times and it’s just never good enough. And I’ve come to the conclusion that it is good enough, I’m just scared.

Marie: Yes, okay, great. Do you have your browser window open?

Marlena: No, I’m actually in my car and I pulled over.

Marie: Oh, cool. Oh, I love you. Okay, great, great.

Greg: Safety first, safety first.

Marie: So here’s the deal. Perfect, Marlena, perfect, perfect, perfect. Thank you for safety first. Here’s what you need to do and you gotta promise me, girl, promise me that you will do this. When you get your little butt home, the first thing you’re gonna do is you’re gonna actually hit go on your website. You’re gonna do this and you’re gonna call… You’re gonna write to Louise and let her know that it’s done. You’re gonna give… Take a little selfie and say, “I did it.”

Greg: Pinkie swear.

Marie: I’m telling you. Or I’m gonna come find you.

Greg: Yeah, she will.

Marie: And I’m gonna push that button for you. And it’s not gonna be fun ’cause I’m gonna be mad.

Marlena: What? Marie Forleo is my accountability partner?

Marie: No, for this one. Yes I am. Seriously. Yes girl, this shit is gonna happen. How far are you away from home? Like how long?

Marlena: That’s the fire I needed. Two blocks.

Greg: You better get out that car and run.

Marie: Here’s what we’re gonna do ’cause we’re gonna call a couple more people. We’re gonna talk to a couple more of our viewers, we’re gonna answer some questions, girl. Here’s what I need you to do.

Greg: I have chills.

Marie: We all have chills. You’re doing this, it’s gonna happen and then it’s off to the races from there. I want you to get your butt home and you’re gonna hit publish, then you’re gonna email Louise and you’re gonna call us back and tell us you did it and everyone, like literally tens of thousands of people are gonna cheer you the fuck on. You cool with that?

Greg: I’m already crying for you. I’m so happy for you.

Marlena: I have to do this. I have tears in my eyes.

Marie: Are you cool?

Marlena: I’m cool, yep. I’m gonna do it.

Marie: Okay. You’re gonna hang up the phone, safely get back on the road, two blocks, get yourself home, hit go, and then email Louise and then we’re gonna call you back in just a few minutes.

Marlena: Sounds good.

Greg: Like you’re one push away from getting successful.

Marie: Oh wait, hold on. Eric Michael has a question. Oh, tell us your website. Tell us your website right now.

Marlena: It’s www.stillherestillsexy.com.

Greg: Stillherestillsexy.com.

Marie: We got it. Thank you, girl. Okay drive home and then we’ll talk to you in a few. We love you.

Greg: Go, go, go, go, go, go.

Marlena: Love you, too.

Marie: Bye, Marlena.

That’s how we do.

Greg: We’re one push away from success.

Marie: But the underlying message you guys is still so relevant. If you listen to your mind, you ain’t gonna do shit. You will sit on the couch. You will watch Netflix and chill until you’re dead. I’m telling you. This thing is not always your friend. It is really not. It is a tool that we must master. We cannot be mastered by it. So 9 times out of 10, when you find yourself not doing what you know is really good for you, act before you think. Cool?

Greg: Cool.

Marie: Hello.

Izzy: Hello.

Marie: Is this Izzy?

Izzy: It is. Is this Marie?

Marie: It is. You’re on the MarieTV Live Call-In Show. Welcome.

Izzy: Awesome, awesome. Thank you so much for asking for my question.

Marie: Absolutely. So you’re here with Team Forleo, Gregory, myself. Why don’t you tell us your question and we will do everything that we can to help you out, love.

Izzy: Okay. So first of all I want to say thank you so much. I found your channel when I was going through a state of depression and it really helped me clear through that and find my own passion and that’s been awesome. I’ve entered B-School and that’s helped us become the biggest organization for us in Scotland. So it’s been awesome. So thank you so much for all your help.

Marie: Oh, thank you. That warms our heart. Awesome, love it.

Izzy: So my question is, how do you get people to want to join a waiting list? So we have… Our classes are full, which is fabulous. And we’re in the process of becoming the first trampoline club in Scotland to have it’s own performance center. But we need to build a waiting list for it so that we have a backlog of people ready to come in. We currently do things like social media and every week we do a monthly newsletter. If there is a space, we then give them a two week taster session and that they can take to join.

When GB won a silver medal at Rio in 2016, we had a massive influx of people. Our waiting list went up to 100. Everyone was inquiring to join the waiting list. However, Olympics only happens every four years so what things would you recommend us doing now to kind of create that buzz? Almost like a new iPhone. That buzz, the concept before it’s even been released?

Marie: Yep, that’s right. Okay. So I love this question, my love, and first of all, congratulations to you guys for doing all of this incredible work and getting to where you are right now. That is no small feat. So thank you. And by the way, I just love that I’m hearing a little Day-O in the background.

Greg: Day-O, day-o, day-o.

Marie: I know.

Izzy: I’m currently, actually, I’m currently hiding in the cupboard.

Marie: Oh, it’s great.

Greg: Photos or it didn’t happen.

Marie: I’ve hid in the bathroom for phone call. I’m with you, so it’s all good.

So here’s what I love. So you actually gave yourself the clue and you have the clue. I’m just gonna help you fill in a little bit of the pieces and hopefully inspire you guys to do some major creative brand storming. So as you mentioned, just like when, for example, Apple comes out with a new iPhone. There’s all this anticipation. They create interest and desire. There’s a lot of buildup.

What I need you guys to do is to actually think about this like a campaign. Think about this like a campaign. So you want to build it out and think about, what could be, Izzy, the most irresistible offer that you can make, something that’s potentially outrageous that may or may not… I don’t want to say make you guys lose money but that you may think like, “Oh my God, if I offer that could I really deliver on it?” Or, ‘If I got 100 people to say yes to this, we’d have to work our asses off but you know what? It would create some buzz.” So, since you’re a B-Schooler, you know that I’m a huge fan of figuring out ways to deliver additional value. So maybe what we’ll do, and you know what? I’m gonna have Louise, Louise might mute you up just for a second – I’m gonna get through a little bit of what I’m gonna say and then we’ll pop you back on for your feedback.

So what I want you guys to do is brainstorm and I always like to use the little sentence stem called, “Wouldn’t it be cool if…” It’s a great way to get your mind going. So wouldn’t it be cool if… Everyone who signed up for the wait list not only got two private sessions but they also got this group training program and a party and something else? Wouldn’t it be cool if we could reach out to every gymnastics organization around Scotland and around the UK and offer them some kind of affiliate commission to really pump out this word? Wouldn’t it be cool if we hired a video team and some of our top trampoline masters – I’m making that shit up – To do an entire video campaign. All these different tricks that you guys could make it so aspirational with music and making it like a little commercial and saying, releasing in four days, three days, two days. I hope you’re catching my snow drift here, girl.

Because really what you have to do is craft an irresistible offer. Something that people are like, “This is a no-brainer. Like if I don’t get on this waitlist, I’m stupid.” That’s how you want people to feel. So that’s gonna require you guys to push yourselves creatively. It’s gonna require going into zones that you’re like, I don’t know how to do this but I’ll figure it out because everything is figureoutable. You can’t see it, but I’m holding up a mug that says that. And essentially, it’s how we operate any time we’re gonna release B-School, we’re about to relaunch a program that we’ve had for a while called The Copy Cure. And literally, it’s all heads, hearts, and hands on deck to think about, how can we make this idea, this program, this offering, irresistible. A no-brainer where people look at it and go, “If I’m interested in this thing, I can’t not say yes.”

So those are some of my ideas. The second thing I want you to do since you know that you want a wait list of, I think, about 100 people, obviously you need to strive for like 150 or 200. You always want to shoot above what you think you can get because sometimes we don’t meet that goal but we come real close. So you want to always overshoot.

Let me see if I had any other notes for you. Yeah, essentially there needs to be urgency. That’s the other piece. You know this. It’s urgency/scarcity depending on how you want to construct your campaign. Talk about the difference. Urgency is when there’s a deadline, either you’re in or you’re out by this particular date. Scarcity in your case, could mean there’s only 100 spots.

Izzy: Yes, absolutely. I think the urgency would really help.

Marie: Yes. So…

Izzy: That fear of missing it.

Marie: That’s right. So girl, and I know this is kind of a little bit of a crass statement, but I need you and your team to go balls-to-the-wall with your creativity and stop at nothing to make a creative, irresistible offer. That’s what it’s gonna take. I know you have it in you because of what you’ve been able to build already, what you’ve been able to create, and how much attention and success you’ve already built. This is gonna push you, though, to your next creative and business level and I am certain in every bone in my body that you’ve got it.

Izzy: That is awesome. That is really, really inspiring. Definitely feel there’s already of a campaign, almost like an election and really pushing and bringing the buttons. And we’ve done some filming work and then we can expand on that and use some really cool. We’ve got friends and some of the members are great with the cameras so some really good video and photography and stuff like that to really build it.

Marie: Yes, exactly. And make the notion of saying yes to the waitlist… Again, you want it to be so irresistible that folks who you serve are like, “I gotta say yes to this.” Even if for you you’re like, “Ooh, that’s kind of getting into my profit margins a little.” Or even if you have to hell… I would lose some money. I would happily lose a little bit of money if the payoff long-term was big enough. I am always happy to invest in the long-term success if it costs me a little bit of short-term coin, always. So if that’s your place in this matter, please push it and go for it because you’re creating something that your country and probably your part of the world has never seen before and you gotta do everything in your power to make it win.

Izzy: Thank you. That is absolutely awesome.

Marie: Awesome. All right, we love you. Please keep us up to date. We’re gonna be cheering you on. If I had a trampoline I’m jumping right now. Like I have one.

Izzy: Thank you, that’s awesome.

Marie: Thanks, Izzy. Talk to you soon.

Izzy: Thank you, bye.

Greg: Lean back.

Olga: Hello?

Marie: Olga?

Olga: What’s this!

Marie: What’s up, girl? It’s Marie Forleo. You are on with Team Forleo, Gregory, and this is the MarieTV Live Call-In Show.

Olga: Oh my goodness, okay. Hello.

Marie: Well we are so excited to have you on today. Let us know your question and we will do our very best to help you out.

Olga: Okay. So my question was, how do you find the courage to speak up when your message is very controversial? Because I’m just launching a new… Like a whole new project where I want to help people who are going through divorce ’cause I just went through that experience and I found it a little bit too painful when it didn’t need it to be that way. And my ex and I found a really loving way to do it but it took a process. It took knowing how to do it and we didn’t really have a lot of support. Most people didn’t understand what was happening. So yeah, I want to start putting that new concept out.

So I created this project called Divorce For Love where I’m trying to make people understand that divorce doesn’t have to be a failure, that it can be a very loving thing. That you don’t have to take your partners and just want to move on. But I just started doing my new YouTube Channel and I’m just finding a little resistance inside of me because I don’t want people to go, “Oh my gosh, you’re pro-divorce and you’re breaking families” and all that. I just want people to know that there is another option and it can be in a loving way.

So yeah, my question is, how do you find the courage to speak up when you just want to be silent and be like, “Okay, it doesn’t matter.”

Marie: Yes. Absolutely.

Olga: Whichever you go.

Marie: Well first of all, I just want to commend you for your project and for what you’re working on and for the message that you’re committed to sharing because it’s important. Just because something ends, whether it’s a relationship or it’s a business or it’s a creative endeavor, or any type of goal, because it’s done doesn’t mean it’s a failure. Even if you’ve elected to leave it or stop it or call it quits, so to speak. So I am with you on this message.  

Olga: Exactly. Exactly, yes, sister.

Marie: Yes, sister, absolutely. And here’s another thing I want to tell you, girl, and you know this, but it’s the truth. People will come for you ’cause it’s the internet and there’s a ton of shitty people on the internet that say all kinds of things and that are mean and ignorant or they’re just real opinionated like you are, okay? ‘Cause you have your view and other people have their view and just like it’s your right to speak about what you believe in, it is their right to speak about what they believe in, too.

Now, that said, it’s just the reality of the days and times that we’re living in, but what you want to do is prepare yourself because you have to make your message and the mission more important than your insecurity. You have to make what you want to achieve which is this experience of love and giving people a sense of freedom, way more prominent than your own fear about being criticized, okay? And the way that you do that is you prepare yourself.

So one of the things that I really want to recommend you do is read a book called “Nonviolent Communication.” It’s by an author called Marshall Rosenberg. You can look it up on Amazon, get that thing. It’s one of the core books that we have everyone read on Team Forleo because we interact with a lot of humans. Lots of them. I mean I think we sent, I don’t know Louise, what was it? It was close to 50 million emails last year. We’ve got 10s of millions of YouTube things and comments. I don’t even go there sometimes anymore because people are that shitty and I don’t give a fuck. I’m gonna do what I’m gonna do.

But, for you, what you want to do is when you want to address people who are really bringing up valid points and perhaps want to have a dialogue with you, a meaningful dialogue, that’s based in honor and respect and dignity, you want to be able to approach those conversations with composure, with intelligence, with respecting their point of view but also presenting something different. So criticism in and of itself is not something that we should run from because it can help us to grow better. And if you’re paying attention to people who again, are approaching you whether it’s an email or comments, from a place of genuine respect and wanting to just share ideas and talk about different possibilities, you may find opportunities to make your own thinking better, more advanced, more inclusive. They may bring up points that you would have never considered before that could actually help you achieve your mission in a bigger and better way.

But the thing that I want to let you know is there’s no way in this world that you can make a difference without making waves. It’s impossible, okay? And girl, I think you’re in Hawaii so this one’s really good for you. You’re gonna be looking out at that ocean going, “Marie told me. There ain’t no way I can make a difference without making waves” and it is the truth. So surround yourself…

Olga: I’m sitting right in front of the ocean as we speak. I’m literally on my morning walk looking at the ocean and just saying, “Make waves.” I got it.

Marie: Yes, I’m telling you, my intuition, my intuition runs this thing. It runs this thing. I get so excited. But that one’s for you and that one’s for everyone. Any time in my life that I have been committed to making a difference in any way, shape, or form, I have made a lot of waves and I get a lot of hate and a lot of criticism and a lot of upset, and you know what? My mission is more important than all of that.

And there’s another thing that I want you to remember. This is something that really helps me especially when Jersey Marie wants to come out and just cut people to size, when she wants to clap back and show them what’s up, every bit of communication that every human being shares is either a loving response, or a cry for help. It’s something that’s from A Course In Miracles. You may or may not believe that statement, some people don’t. You can say, “Fuck that.” I choose to believe it because I think that it’s really helpful for helping me stay in a place of compassion.

And then quite frankly, for just the assholes, right? That come at you on the internet. Bloop, delete. Bloop, don’t look at them. Bloop, block them. So there ain’t no need for that. For people that want to have an intelligent discussion, awesome. But put your attention where it’s gonna be most impactful which is for the people who really want this message, who need this message and who would really like to learn what you have experienced and want to look at divorce and moving onto a next chapter in a whole fresh, loving, compassionate way.

Olga: Exactly. And what you just said about the conversation, that’s the first thing that I feel my goal is, that I just want to change the conversation. I just want to be able to talk about it. I’m not saying my way is the way, I just want to give people options. And the reason why I wrote to you was because I remember a story that you said about one time you were in a seminar and you were giving your motivational pitch to somebody and he was just telling you this naysayer like, “Oh, you must have a rich husband because this is not really a business.” And I remember thinking, “Oh my gosh, thank goodness Marie is from Jersey and she was like, ‘Oh man. No.’ That demon insult you. That gets you going. And that’s what I was afraid that somebody was gonna make a comment like that and I was gonna be like, “Oh, yeah right. I should go back to my corner.” But hearing you for an example of what can be done, this makes sense to me. Yeah, I’m ready to go there and make waves.

Marie: Yes, do it, girl.

Olga: Thank you.

Marie: And that episode and that story… Really, sometimes a putdown is the best fuel to fire you up. So I always take some of that hate, some of that haterade, some of that dismissive stuff, some of that… And by the way, I will tell you, people still underestimate my ass. I’m like, “Watch out. I’ll do it more, do it more. ‘Cause all that does is fire me up.” I love being the underdog. It’s fun as shit.

So anyway…

Olga: Right, I…

Marie: Yes.

Olga: I was gonna say that I certainly draw inspiration from other people who have done what I want to do and you’re one of them, and from my past experiences where even when it was difficult, I stuck with it. And what you were saying at the beginning, sometimes you just gotta move on from something, I’ve owned three very successful restaurants and once my hard work went into cooking for other people, I sold them. And everybody was like, “Oh my gosh, what are you doing? You’re crazy, don’t do that.” But I knew that my heart wasn’t in it and I was ready to move on and now I have other avenues that really fill my heart.

So yeah, we just got to keep our courage up. Giving inspiration.

Marie: That’s right, baby. Well we love you. We are wishing you so much luck in this next endeavor. I’m thinking about you on the waves. Please keep us posted and thank you again for being on the show.

Olga: I will. Thank you so much for calling me. I love talking to you. Thank you.

Marie: Thank you, bye love.

Marlena: Hello?

Marie: Marlena.

Greg: We see your website.

Marie: We’re on your website right now. Woman, you did it.

Zach: Congratulations.

Marie: How does it feel?

Marlena: Thank you so much. It feels incredible. It feels like this weight is lifted off of my chest. I’m so excited.

Marie: Well, your site is beautiful. We’re just scrolling around right now and oh my god, stunning. Oh my god. Girl.

Greg: Yes, this is badass.

Marie: This is ridiculous. Oh by the way, I just saw where you were. You’re in Montana. We happen to know another badass in Montana. We’re gonna hook you up because we have friends over there that you just need to know about. This is so baller and so amazing. We love you. Congratulations. How does it feel to act before you think?

Marlena: Fantastic.

Marie: Yes. So, so good.

Marlena: Fantastic. I’m never going back.

Marie: Yes. Good, good, good. Keep that mantra, you’re doing great. We love you, we love you, we love you. What did you want to say Louise, anything?

Louise: That’s all good.

Marie: No. It’s all good. Okay, you keep us posted. Everyone’s gonna cheer you on when this airs and you just keep it rocking, woman.

Louise: Congratulations.

Marlena: Wonderful, thank you so much again. I can’t thank you enough.

Marie: Congrats.

Greg: ‘Atta girl.

Marie: Yes.

Well, happy campers, thank you for watching another episode of the MarieTV Call-In Show. Don’t forget that everything is figureoutable. Everything is figureoutable. It’s a key message. And basically my life.

Hey, I want to know what you thought of this episode. Which was your favorite question or the favorite answer or the aspect of it or anything. Leave a comment below and let us know. Now as always, the best conversations happen over at the magical land of marieforleo.com so head on over there and leave a comment now. And while you’re there, be sure to sign up for our email list which will make you an MF Insider. It’s so good. You want to be one. You are gonna get instant access to a training I created called How to Get Anything You Want. That means you can take me in your pocket and listen to me all the time. I will get your ass motivated and you’re gonna like it. And then we’re gonna have some exclusive content and special giveaways and just stuff that I don’t tell anyone anywhere else. I don’t put it on social media. I just like writing little private emails to my Insiders.

So with that said, stay on your game and keep going for your dreams because the world needs that very special gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching and we’ll catch you next time on MarieTV.