This Happiness-Boosting Habit Might Even Beat Gratitude

In this episode of MarieTV, we do have some adult language. So if you do have little ones around, grab your headphones now.

Bam, bam, bam, bam. I loves Thanksgiving. I love Thanksgiving. I love, I love, I love Thanksgiving. Love Thanksgiving. What? Love Thanksgiving. Love it, love it, love. I love Thanksgiving. That was just a little song.

Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business and life you love. Now, this week here in the US we are celebrating one of my favorite holidays, Thanksgiving. Come on, guys. Can we hear it for some Thanksgiving?

Now here’s the deal, I love this holiday because it’s not about material gifts. It’s about friends, it’s about family, and connection, and food. Glorious food. Do you guys know how much I love to eat? I love to eat. Now, as you may know, a typical practice is that people sit around the Thanksgiving dinner table and they often take turns sharing what they’re grateful for.

Well, this season I have got something new for you to try and here’s what’s great. It’s something that you can do all year long. So instead of saying what we’re grateful for, what we’re gonna do is say what we appreciate.

Now, you might be thinking, “Hold up, Marie. Aren’t those really the same thing?” And my response to you is not really. So for our purposes I want you to think about gratitude as the quality of being thankful.

Now, most of the time when we talk about things that we’re grateful for we’re referring to things we have in our life like, I don’t know. “I’m grateful for my job” or “I’m grateful for my husband.” Now there’s nothing wrong with that. Gratitude is a very transformative force. But appreciation is different. It’s about recognizing something great in someone else and letting them know about it.

And as Steven Covey taught us, “the greatest need of a human being is to be understood, validated, and appreciated.”

So this year, why not go around the holiday table and publicly appreciate each person? So talk about something specific that you love or admire about them. I want you to brag on them. Just give them a shout out. Kind of like this:

“Zach, I appreciate how creative you are, how thoughtful you are, how much you juje the set of MarieTV, and, most importantly, how you are willing to do the Flashdance solo anytime, anyplace.”

“Jams, I appreciate your sense of humor, your laughter. And you, my friend, are a snazzy dresser. I appreciate how you laugh at my jokes when nobody else does, and that’s the thing I care about the most.”

“Mashed potatoes, I appreciate you. I appreciate how creamy and fluffy and light and delicious and salty you are. You get better every year and you make me feel so warm and fluffy.”

Jams, that was really sweet. But can you make it to a person?

Mashed potatoes is my nickname for Eric.

“Aw.”

Now, I think you get the idea, right? And if you’re not used to giving people compliments, here is an appreciation template to get your creative juices flowing:

“First name, I so appreciate your BLANK,” and here you’re gonna insert a quality like courage or tenacity or thoughtfulness or sense of humor. Next you’ll say, “I say that because of BLANK.” Then you’re gonna share some specific details and evidence of how they embody that trait or how they make people feel.

If you put some thought into this, I promise you will find truth in this here tweetable:

What you appreciate appreciates.

Now, even though I love that statement, I did not make that one up. You know, it’s one of those classic bits of wisdom that’s almost impossible to trace back to a single source. But I do know that Lynn Twist, the author of one of my favorite books called The Soul of Money, has done a brilliant job spreading this idea too. And here’s what it really means to me.

You know, the grass is always greener where you water it, and this is especially true in our relationships. The more you can express genuine appreciation for people in your life, the stronger your relationships will become, and the more fulfilling your life will be.

And now I would love to hear from you. Let us get this appreciation party started right now. In the comments below, tell me at least one person in your life that you appreciate and why. And please be specific. And if you really want to blow their minds, send them a link to this post so they can see all those kind words you said about them publicly and in print.

Now, as always, the very best conversations happen after the episode over at the wonderful land of MarieForleo.com, so head on over and leave a comment now.

And once you’re there, be sure to subscribe to our email list and become an MF Insider. You will get instant access to a powerful audio training we created called How To Get Anything You Want. You’ll also get some exclusive content and special giveaways and personal updates from me that frankly, I don’t share anywhere else.

And one last thing. I want you to know something. I appreciate you. I appreciate you for watching our show, for sharing our show, and for allowing us to be a part of your world.

So stay on your game and keep going for your dreams, because the world needs that very special gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching and I’ll catch you next time on MarieTV.

B-School is coming up. Want in? For more info and free training go to JoinBSchool.com.

I’m feeling it. I’m feeling it.

Bro. Broski.

Jams, I want you to know. I appreciate you, your laughter, your sense of humor, and your ability to make love.

I meant to say – sorry that was a flub.