Copywriting Examples: This One Tip Will Improve Your Copywriting – Fast

Peanut butter is one things that gets the mind going in interesting directions.

Hey, there. It’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business and a life that you love. Now, if you’re looking for some small tweaks that you can make to help you connect more powerfully with your customers, this is the episode for you. Today’s question comes from Dr. Cheryl, a clinical psychologist and couples therapist who is also a member of B-School and The Copy Cure. Now, I was cruising through the member comments when I found Dr. Cheryl’s question and I thought it was the perfect opportunity for some copywriting before and after. Dr. Cheryl wrote:

“Hi, everyone. I created my site 15 months ago without the benefit of this program. I love the design of my site. I wanted it uncluttered, welcoming, and not overwhelming. But I know I need some changes. Any constructive thoughts?”

Now, you guys know me. Of course I had some thoughts, which I’m going to share with you in a moment, but here’s what’s really great for you. These ideas are applicable to virtually anyone who uses words for their job or their business. And they’re all based on a subtle but important shift that instantly helps you connect better with your audience and likely increase business. It’s called the spotlight method and it’s based on one simple idea.

In business the spotlight can either be on you or your customers. Meaning if the spotlight’s on you, the focus of your words is likely on your passion, your cleverness, and your goals. However, when you shift that spotlight over to your customer, the focus of your words is on the people you serve: their problems, their aspirations, and their goals.

Now, unfortunately most of us get this wrong, especially when it comes to our writing. Generally speaking, we all shine way too much of that spotlight on ourselves and not enough spotlight on our customers. But in business we know our customers want to feel seen and heard and acknowledged. So an easy way to do that is to make sure you’re putting them in the spotlight, and that’s what I’m gonna show you how to do. So we’re gonna walk through a few specific changes we can make on Dr. Cheryl’s site so you can see what I mean.

So, as you can see, Dr. Cheryl was right. She has a beautiful, clean, modern, uncluttered website, which is great. And she has a big, bold header when you first land on her site. This headline reads: “Dr. Cheryl is the go-to modern day guru of mindful loving.”

Now, from a spotlight perspective, here’s the problem. This headline is about Dr. Cheryl, but it doesn't really contain a benefit or a hook for her visitor, who’s likely on the site because they need some serious relationship help. I mean, maybe they’re on the brink of divorce, maybe they’re feeling shameful or broken or embarrassed or at the end of their rope. The point is, if they’re coming to this website they’re probably saying, “I need help with my relationship.” They’re probably not saying, “I need a mindful, loving guru.”

And I told Dr. Cheryl this: I don't even know what a mindful loving guru is. I mean, of course I can guess, but the fact that we as a visitor have to decode that makes us work just a little bit too hard. And that tells us the copy is about Dr. Cheryl, not about her customer.

So you might be asking, what’s the fix? Well, using the spotlight method we can write some new headlines that are more customer-focused. Now, these aren’t perfect, but they get us moving in the right direction.

First up: “Need relationship help? Let me help you get your love back on track.” Or we can try this one: “Get the passionate, playful relationship you want. I’ll show you how.” Or how about this one: “Relationship in trouble? Let’s get your love life back on track.”

Instantly we see how these headlines are more customer-focused than Dr. Cheryl-focused. Right? I mean, if we have relationship trouble and we land on this page, we’re much more likely to feel like Dr. Cheryl understands us, she empathizes with where we’re at right now, and she wants to help.

Okay, so let’s move on. Another place we can make some customer-focused spotlight method improvements is the navigation. So let’s look at our current navigation. We see “About Mindful Loving, About Cheryl, What I Have to Share, Blog, News and Events, and Connect.” So while “About Mindful Loving” and “About Cheryl” aren’t so bad, this “What I Have to Share” is really about her.

So what would happen if we rethought this navigation from our customer’s point of view? If we really shifted that spotlight? So think about it. What is your customer looking for? How can we help her find what exactly she wants to find using words that are simple and clear and customer-focused? I took a stab at a simpler navigation inspired by the spotlight method and here’s what I came up with. Simpler, right?

So first up, I’m starting with “About,” since that’s something we all understand and look for. And under “About” if we want we can put a dropdown that talks about “About Dr. Cheryl,” then maybe “About the Methodology,” and if she has them perhaps testimonials from couples she’s helped.

Next I put the word “Services,” which is also customer-focused. It’s something people who want to hire a therapist are probably looking for. Again, we can easily add a dropdown for In-Person Therapy or Virtual Therapy if she offers multiple services.

Next up you’ll see I put “Couples Workshops.” Once again, customer-focused language. Then I thought about a word like “Resources,” which is simple and clear copy that speaks to what her customer might be looking for.

Now, there we also might want to consider a dropdown and list simple subcategories like Blog or that’s where she can put Upcoming Events, Books, DVDs, or Audio Programs if she has them. And then finally we’re ending with “Contact,” which is much more clear and customer-focused than “Connect.” I want you to remember this: when it comes to effective copywriting, especially for your navigation, clear and customer-focused beats clever or cute every day of the week.

So those are just a few simple shifts inspired by the spotlight method that can help put more of the focus on Cheryl’s customer instead of her.

Hopefully you can see how this one subtle shift in your focus can help you write better, more customer-centric copy – thereby allowing you to create a stronger connection with your audience.

Now, if you enjoyed this and you want to learn even more ways to improve your copywriting, go check out TheCopyCure.com. It is a phenomenal writing course that teaches you how to write copy that makes your audience feel seen and heard and understood, which is the most important and overlooked aspect of a meaningful and profitable business. And if you ever forget, remember this Tweetable.

The secret to a meaningful, profitable business is putting the spotlight on your customers, not on you.

Now I would love to hear from you. What’s one piece of copy on your website that you can use the spotlight method on to shift the focus away from you and onto your customers? Take a stab at changing it and give us the before and after in the comments below.

Now, as always, the best conversations happen over at MarieForleo.com, so go there and leave a comment now. Once you’re there, be sure to subscribe to our email list and become an MF Insider. You’ll get instant access to a powerful audio training called How To Get Anything You Want. You’ll also get some exclusive content and special giveaways and personal updates from me that I don't share anywhere else.

Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams because the world needs that special gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching and I’ll catch you next time on MarieTV.

Ready to find your voice and sell with heart? We’ll show you how. Get started now with our free writing class at TheCopyCure.com. Side effects include enlarged profits.

Just a little bit more, baby. I can rock it to you.

Before I continue my most meaningful work.

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