2 Habits That Build The Courage To Keep Going When You Feel Like Giving Up

Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you’re watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business and life you love. If you’ve ever wondered how to find purpose and strength in an uncertain world, this one’s for you. Today’s question comes from R and she writes:

“Hi Marie. Thank you for the wisdom you offer. It’s been such a great help for me. I’ve been through a series of traumatic events and suffer from depression. I live in Iraq and my country has been in war for decades. I’m an architect and love my job, but here everything you care about or build can be destroyed at any moment, that’s if you manage to survive. So here’s my Q: how can I find the courage to continue building knowing all my hard work can be wiped away due to circumstances I can’t control? Loving what I do for a living has become a kind of cure to me. I know you say everything is figureoutable, and I profoundly share this belief with you, but it’s so hard to do on my own. Thanks for giving me a chance to get help for myself and whoever is going through a similar situation. Lots of love to you and your team, R.”

R, thank you so much for reaching out. Your words went straight to my heart. We have viewers in 195 countries and I do my very best to stay conscious of the fact that many people like you are living in conflict zones amidst extraordinary challenges. You know, right now I’m in New York and it’s hard to fathom the fear and turmoil and uncertainty that you experience on a daily basis. My heart goes out to you and I want you to know that we are sending you love and my hope is that something we share today can help you feel supported and find a sense of strength.

You mentioned something really, really important when you talked about finding the courage in the midst of circumstances you can’t control. That’s the operative phrase: circumstances you can’t control. You’re living an amplified version of that, but you’re 100% right. For all of us, so much of what happens in life is completely beyond our control and that can leave us feeling powerless. But here’s the good news, there’s one thing that we have just a smidgen of control over and that’s ourselves and how we choose to direct our thoughts and our words and our actions. Keeping this in mind, when I read your question there were two key habits that I wanted to recommend for you. Both of these can be done anywhere, they don't cost anything, and they’re both scientifically proven to help improve depression and anxiety and the impact of trauma.

Habit number one, daily meditation. So meditation is the ultimate technology for creating peace from the inside out. For me it’s what helps me stay connected to the loving and strong parts of myself and observe my circumstances without getting swept away by them. Now, we’ve done a whole episode on this one already, which includes a free 10 minute guided meditation made by me. So if you’re willing, I invite you to watch that episode and meditate for at least 10 minutes a day for the next seven days. And then I want you to write to me at info@marieforleo.com and let me know what, if any, impact it’s made.

Habit number two is movement. Now, what’s tough about this one is that when we feel depressed or we’re under extreme mental anxiety, we don't feel motivated to do much of anything besides maybe eating some chips or, in my case, you’re really craving some mac and cheese. However, exercise is scientifically proven to be especially effective for depression. You don't even have to get fancy, you don't have to go to a gym, you could run or you could work out in your house. You know, there are a ton of free videos on YouTube that just use your bodyweight so you don't even need any equipment.

Now, I will say, for me it’s not just about exercise, but it’s also about the music that I listen to while I exercise that I feel makes the biggest difference. So my challenge to you is that for the next seven days in the morning if you could do just 10 minutes of exercise to music you love, I think it would make a big difference. Now, if you wind up doing more than 10 minutes that’s fantastic, but at least 10 minutes every day for the next seven days. And, again, I would love you to write me and let me know how it goes.

So, R, those are two non-negotiable habits that I strongly recommend you give a try. But now I want to move on to the core of your question which is how much you love being an architect and building things but that understandably it all feels futile. I have to tell you, R, I’ve had similar thoughts not tied to the nature of my circumstance, but tied to the very nature of life itself which is impermanence. That inescapable fact that nothing in the physical plane lasts. I mean, everything, including you and me, including everything we make and everyone that we love, will one day be gone. And when I think about this I can either let that fact get me down or I can let that fact get me fired up, meaning fired up to love as much as I can possibly love while I’m still here. Fired up to take risks and to speak out and create things for as long as I possibly can. And the one thing that might be really inspiring for you on this topic is something called The 10 Paradoxical Commandments, which is by Dr. Kent Keith, which also really inspired Mother Teresa. Here are just three of them, and the third one is especially for you.

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway.

Look R, you are on the planet for a reason. You are here to create and contribute. And the things that you build and the love that you bring to them, that is your legacy. As Khalil Gibran said, work is love made visible. And that, my friend, cannot be wiped away. So let’s wrap up this episode on a tweetable.

Nothing physical lasts forever, but the legacy you create is here to stay.

That was my A to your Q, R. I really hope it helps. And now I would love to hear from you, we’ve got a two-parter today. First up, R shared that she was feeling like she has to figure all of this out on her own, so I would love our community to get together and share some encouragement and support with her in the comments and let her know she is not alone. Second part, have you ever found yourself feeling like it’s futile to create something? Whether you're afraid it could all be taken away or you’re afraid no one’s going to see it or appreciate it or that it won’t be any good? What shift in your thinking has helped you?

Now, as always, the best conversations happen after the episode over at MarieForleo.com, so go over there and leave a comment now. Once you’re there, be sure to subscribe to our email list and become an MF insider. You’ll get instant access to a fantastic audio we created called How to Get Anything You Want. You’ll also get some exclusive content and special giveaways and personal updates from me that I just don't share anywhere else.

Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams because the world really needs that special gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching and I’ll catch you next time on MarieTV.

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People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway.