How To Make The Right Decision When Your Gut And Logic Don't Agree

Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be, say it with me, to create a business and life you love. And today is Q&A Tuesday. Today’s question comes from Harold and he writes:

“Hey Marie, love what you do. Thanks for all the advice and clarity. I’m a highly intuitive person. I’m pondering a decision that on all sides points one way logically and intuitively it points the other way. Now, I hear the saying to always go with your gut, my question is, is it always best to go with what feels right? Thanks, Harold.”

Great question, Harold. You know, I think we’ve all been in situations where something looked really great on paper but for whatever reason, we couldn’t shake that funny feeling inside that said, “Nuh uh, don’t do it.” You know, whenever I get into a tough spot like that, for what it’s worth, I always wind up going with my gut. But it is wise to have a process to work through to help you in situations like this, where logic is saying one thing and your intuition is telling you another.

I’ll share a great, strategic decision making process with you in just a few minutes, but first I wanna tell you a little story about a time when I went against logic and the expert advice of others to follow my own instincts. So back when I was writing my book, Make Every Man Want You, I was torn between trying to sell the book to a big publisher or self publishing. Now, I did a lot of research and I asked several New York Times bestselling authors for their input. And I even paid for a course on book publishing.

I’ve gotta tell you, Harold, everyone told me not to self publish my book if I ever wanted to get taken seriously as an author. In fact, I was told self publishing is the kiss of death.

And I’ve gotta say, logically I agreed. Self publishing would cost me a lot of money, there was a lot of risk involved in the process in terms of quality of the end product, and, like it or not, self publishing carried an amateur-like stigma. Plus I had this phrase “kiss of death” looming in the back of my head. But I couldn’t shake the feeling in my heart that for some crazy reason, I was supposed to self publish.

So I went ahead with my gut feeling and I decided to self publish my book. And I’ve gotta tell you, it was one of the best things I’ve ever done. Not only did I learn a ton about project management and production, I gained a lot of confidence, I made great money, I changed a lot of lives, and I wound up selling that same self published book to a big publisher and today my book is in 16 languages worldwide.

To be clear for anyone considering it, I’m not saying self publishing is right for every person, but in this instance it was right for me. And over time after making enough tough decisions, I’ve learned to always trust my gut. But I do get it, Harold. Sometimes, like now, you’re just not so sure. And when you’re really torn between logic and intuition, there’s one thing I recommend to help yourself make the best decision for you.

You have got to write it all down. You might be asking, why? Because when you get all the possibilities, the pros and cons, the worst case scenarios, and who else your decision will impact. When you get all that out of your head and down onto the page, you’re gonna be able to evaluate the situation a lot more clearly and, ultimately, you’re gonna be more confident in your decision.

Let me repeat this: whenever you’ve got an important or difficult decision to make, make it on paper. Just thinking about it in your head or even talking about it with other people will likely just get you more confused and more unsure. Now, to help you out, here are 5 strategic questions you need to ask and answer about your situation.

Number one, what’s the result or outcome you most want in this area of your life? So what’s most important to you? What are you really after here and why? Number two, list all your options to move ahead. If it’s just two, that’s fine. But I want you to challenge yourself to think outside the box and consider outrageous, even farfetched alternate options if that’s relevant for your situation. Now, this is where innovation and creative solutions can really spring up. Number three, upsides and downsides for each option. List as many as you can think of here. This is your classic pro and con list. Number four, worst case scenarios for each option. This one’s vital because we often overestimate worst case scenarios in our heads, but when we really take time to write them down we see it’s rare that there’s any decision we can’t change or recover from. This helps remove fear. Number five, who else will this impact? For each option it’s useful to think beyond yourself and consider how your choice may impact your relationship with others. Your team, your family, your friends, your customers, etcetera.

This might seem like a lot of work, Harold, but important decisions can radically impact the quality and direction of your entire life. And these 5 questions will strengthen your decision making muscles and help you strategically and intelligently work through any tough situation you find yourself in. So let’s land this plane on a Tweetable.

“Sometimes, going with your gut is more than a snap decision.”

Now, by the way, if you haven’t seen our other episodes, one’s called Four Ways to Sharpen Your Intuition, the other, How to Tell the Difference Between Fear and Intuition, make sure you check them out. I’m also gonna put links to them below.

Now I would love to hear from you. Have you ever felt torn between your sense of logic and your sense of intuition? Any tools or practices that have repeatedly helped you intelligently and strategically work through some kind of dilemma?

As always, the best discussions happen after the episode over at MarieForleo.com, so get your buns over there and leave a comment now.

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Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams, because the world needs that special gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching and I’ll catch you next time on MarieTV.

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