Success and Love — How to Have it ALL

Do you have really big dreams but feel like something just keeps holding you back? In this video, you’ll learn the secret reason why you can’t seem to break through to that next elusive level of success. It’s something weird that most people never realize. In just a moment, I’ll reveal exactly what it is and how to overcome it. 

Hey it’s Marie Forleo and welcome to another episode of The Marie Forleo Podcast and MarieTV — the place to be to create a business and life you love. Speaking of love, it’s Valentine’s Day which makes it the perfect time to share something a little personal.

It’s actually a destructive limiting belief that I had floating around in my noggin that I didn’t even realize was holding me back. I’ve since learned a LOT of other people have this belief too, or something super similar. And for me, not only was it causing havoc in my relationship but it was also causing me to hold back and play smaller in my business.

So here’s what my limiting belief was. 

Somehow, I got it wired up in this brain of mine that if I became more successful — if my business got bigger, if I had more notoriety, if I had even MORE going on in my career —  that somehow increasing my success would destroy my relationship with Josh.

And if you don’t know, Josh is the man I love and we’ve been together for 20 years now.

I cannot explain to you how REAL this fear felt to me. I don’t know where I picked it up or how I got it into my head that it wasn’t possible for me to keep expanding in my career and ALSO keep expanding the love and joy I had in my relationship. This fear — this limiting belief had me thinking I had to choose one or the other and that’s just total BS.

Now before I tell you how I totally turned that beat around – and how you can too I’m actually really curious….do you ever feel like there might be some kind of hidden limiting belief inside your head or your heart? Or even — as strange as it might sound — maybe even a FEAR of success?

Man, I don’t know, maybe you’re afraid that you’re actually not GOOD enough to achieve your dreams, or that if you do achieve more — people are just going to expect more from you and you’ll never be able to meet their expectations.

Or maybe you’re afraid that more success will cost you your mental or your emotional or your physical health. Or that you’ll have to sacrifice your values or maybe you’re like I was — and you’re afraid that if you get WAY more successful, that it will negatively impact your relationships and maybe even destroy them. 

Whatever your limiting belief might be, the first step is you have to Face It. Which means, SAY IT OUTLOUD and most importantly you need to write it down. That’s why I did and it really helped me so much. First of all, naming it clearly stopped it from being this vague, shapeless, scary feeling floating around in my head and my body. More importantly, when I wrote it down, I could look at the words on the page and distance myself enough from it to see it all objectively. 

The second step was to Get Curious. So, I had to ask myself, “Is this fear based in scientific FACT — like the law of gravity? Or is it just one possibility out of many that could possibly exist?” Of course, it was just ONE possibility out of many. 

And look, I’ve been with the same person for a VERY long time, so I stayed curious and asked myself, “Marie, has your relationship actually gotten worse the more successful you become?” 

And my answer to that was NO. In fact, when I looked back… I realized we used to bicker and fight and argue a LOT more in the early days. And that was when I was just starting out and I wasn’t nearly as successful then. 

So then comes step number three, which I think is where the real magic happens, at least that’s where it happened for me. I call it Test the Opposite step. Meaning, I asked myself, “Huh…is it possible that the OPPOSITE of this fear might actually be more true? In other words… Could it be that the more successful I become, the more LOVING I become? What if more success actually makes ALL my relationships a whole lot better… including the one I have with myself, and Josh and everyone else? What if the more expansive and abundant I become creatively, and emotionally, and yes, financially, that all of that expansion also positively impacts all my relationships?”

So I have to tell you, the MOMENT I tried on that possibility — the moment I really tested the exact OPPOSITE of my limiting belief, it rang so true in body. It felt so good, it felt so true and I felt this instant release and an opening in my heart. And then of course my mind said, “Okay Marie – this feels good and it rings true. Do you have any proof for this — whether in your life or anyone else’s?” And I DID. 

I actually had my own damn proof. I realized that as I had become more successful in my business — I actually had more resources to invest in things like couples therapy, which we’ve done a lot of, various relationship workshops and all kinds of different learning experiences that gave us the tools that we both needed to have a super healthy, long-term relationship. 

I also realized as I had become MORE successful — I had more TIME to spend with Josh and other people I loved. 

And also, as I had become more successful — I’d grown more confident and capable in my communication skills, which of course, communication skills are the foundation of all great relationships.

I cannot tell you WHAT a difference it has made once I was able to FACE that limiting belief and replace it with something that’s WAY more true and supportive of the life that I know I’m meant to live. 

So now, let’s turn this insight into action for YOU. So I want to know, if you got REAL honest with yourself, if you got real curious, what fear or limiting belief MIGHT be holding you back from even greater success? What’s the first thing that pops into your mind or that rises up in your heart. 

Remember, step one is just to Face It. So say it outloud, whatever it is, and write it down. Then, step two is just Get Curious: Ask yourself, “Is this fear based in irrefutable scientific FACT — like the law of gravity? Or is that just one possibility out of an INFINITE number of possibilities that could actually exist?” And finally, step number three, is I want you to Test the Opposite. Try on the inverse… What if the opposite of your fear were actually more true? How does THAT feel in your body? Is there anything that feels right about it? I just want you to play and be curious.

I promise you, when you love yourself enough to let go of limiting beliefs, you unlock the REAL power of your highest potential. 

And if you’re a business owner or a creative who has some limiting beliefs or fears around being capable of having more success or abundance, like being able to hold that capacity, I DO hope you’re gonna join us for B-School. One of my gifts is helping people INCREASE their capacity for success and I would so love the chance to work with you. Registration is open right now and you can learn more at MarieForleoBschool.com. 

You know, whether you’re watching this on Valentine’s Day or any other day, have a beautiful day with so much love and connection. And please, do the Insight to Action challenge in the comments below. 

If you liked this video, you gotta subscribe so you don’t miss a thing and until next time, stay on your game and keep going for those big dreams. Because the world really needs that very special gift that only you have.

Thank you so much for tuning into another episode of The Marie Forleo podcast and MarieTV. I’ll catch you next time. 

Hey, are you ready to bring your dream business to life? Is it finally time to make the difference you were born to make? Good! Because we can help. Get started now at joinbschool.com.