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Do you ever feel things you wish you didn’t?
Yeah. Most of us have areas of our life we’re a wee bit embarrassed about (aside, of course, from hair growing in places it just has no business in!).
For example, do you ever get jealous of people in your industry who seem to be doing better than you? It’s a crappy state to be in, for sure.
What’s worse, it can be hard to talk about and work through because you think you should be “beyond” all that by now.
If you’ve ever wished for an effective way to deal with jealousy, I’ve got you covered.
In this video, learn why jealousy is actually a GOOD thing (yup yup!) and three simple steps to take whenever the green envy monster comes knockin’ at your door.
listen to this episode on the marie forleo podcast
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View Transcript
What up? What up? What up? It's Marie here for another Q & A Tuesday! Q: I’ve got a question! That means I've got a Q that I’m going to A! That would be weird to watch me A a Q? We’re going for it! Today's question comes from a woman who identifies herself as only S and you’ll know why in just a moment.
She writes: “Hi Marie. First I want to let you know that you're a true mentor. Thank you very much. You're like the all-knowing business genius, BFF I never had. Love you.” Love you too, S.
“Now, for my question. I've realized that I have a tendency toward feeling jealous of people in my industry who are doing better than I am or even at the same level. This jealousy is usually accompanied by irritation and cattiness which is all a result of feeling threatened. I want to really shake this nasty crap.” That's right, girl!
“And, learn to be comfortable with where I am and where others are as well. What kind of insight can you provide on this?”
A: S, this is such a brave, juicy question. Thank you so much for asking this. Most people would be too embarrassed to bring this to light and I’m so happy that you brought it up because we’re going to dive into the juicy stuff! Jealousy is something that we’ve all experienced. It can feel awful and totally take you off your game unless you know the right way to look at it.
Rather than thinking jealousy is bad news, I’ve got a total reframe for you here. Jealousy is good news! Why? It's good news because jealousy is a happy messenger. It's actually pointing out to you exactly where you are holding back in your business or your life. It's pointing out precisely where you need to take action or someplace where you need to open your heart to move ahead.
It's a clear signal from the universe that's asking you to "perk up" and lean in, and open up in your heart and in your actions. When you're jealous at someone right and you're looking at them, you're going, You b-tch! I could do that better. And, you're having all these thoughts like, mmmmmmmm, like that. You're essentially training your subconscious mind that success is bad.
You are not going to allow yourself to have success because you're basically bitching out someone else who’s further ahead than you. So it's really not a good idea especially if you're ambitious and driven, and you want to have achievement yourself. Next time you find yourself green with envy and seething with jealousy, here are three practical steps that you can take to turn it around.
Step number one, next time you're feeling jealous of someone, bless them, cheer them on, and support them. In any given moment you're either contributing to the negativity in the world or you're being a positive force. The choice is yours!
Step number two is to remember that this is good news. The universe is showing you exactly where you're holding back. So for example, if you find yourself jealous when you see someone else speaking on stage to just a whole big crowd worth of people. That’s probably an indicator that that's something you want to do. You want to energetically thank the person who’s making you jealous because they’re pointing out exactly what you need to pursue for yourself.
Step number three is to remember to keep yourself in your own game. Our minds are wired to compare us to everyone and there's a little phrase I came up with that's called the Comparison Hangover.” That's when you look around at everyone else and they seem to be doing so much better than you are. And you could spend you know, hours to a couple days having a comparison hangover.
You feel like crap about yourself. You don't really get anything done and basically, you just tell yourself that you suck and everyone’s way further ahead than you are. So you got to get back into your own game. Take a look in your own business, in your own life. What are you grateful for? What’s working and what can you take action on, right now?
S, thank you so much for this super-brave and juicy question. I love getting into this topic. So if you like this video, like it, leave a comment and of course, if you're not yet on the newsletter list. You better come on over to marieforleo.com and jump on it. Thank you so much for watching and I'll catch you next time!
In the comments below, tell me what your “happy messenger” is telling you.
This question makes sense once you watch the vid.
Of course, if you have strategies, stories or tips on this topic, please share your stuff.
I read every single blog comment and I’m super curious to hear about your experiences with this issue.
And your insights and experience might be just what someone else needs to see to have a big breakthrough too.
x+o