How to Reclaim Your Joy When You Feel Like Giving Up

Marie Forleo: Hey, it’s Marie Forleo, and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business and life you love. If you want to experience more joy and more love and more ease as you reach your goals, this, my friend, is the episode for you. Gabby Bernstein is the number one New York Times bestselling author of The Universe Has Your Back, Miracles Now, May Cause Miracles, Add More Ing to Your Life, Spirit Junkie, and the Judgment Detox. She was featured on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday as the next generation thought leader, and the New York Times named her a new role model. Gabby leads talks and meditations for sold out audiences around the world and teamed up with Deepak Chopra at a co-host, the Guinness World Records largest group meditation. Her newest book is Super Attractor, Methods for Manifesting a Life Beyond Your Wildest Dreams.

Gabby.

Gabby B: Marie.

Marie Forleo: I’m so happy. First of all, you’re the first one on our new beautiful set.

Gabby B: I feel really good on your set.

Marie Forleo: Yeah. You color coordinate well.

Gabby B: Pretty glad I didn’t wear pink, though.

Marie Forleo: Yeah. No, it’s a good choice. So much has happened since the last time that you’ve been on the show. Congratulations. You have a beautiful son named Oliver now.

Gabby B: I’m a mom.

Marie Forleo: Yeah. How’s that feel?

Gabby B: It’s profound, and I just have so much respect for all the mamas out there. It is a life-changing experience. People always say to you and you’re like, “Oh, yeah. Totally.” And then you have a baby, and you’re like, “Oh my God. What just happened to me?” You know, it’s been mind blowing and he’s an angel. I have an angel baby. He’s so easy. He sleeps so well. He is so happy and he has red hair.

Marie Forleo: Really?

Gabby B: He has red hair and my face. Like if you just took my face and just put it on a little baby, this is my child.

Marie Forleo: Yeah. He’s the cutest. Every picture I’ve seen so far, he’s amazing. Okay, so Super Attractor. You guys, phenomenal. Tell me about this latest book. What was the inspiration behind it?

Gabby B: You know, my son actually really inspired a lot of this book. I’ve spoken very publicly about how it took me several years, three years, to conceive. And I had to adjust my belief system to allow myself to be in a state of alignment, to really manifest what became my child. You know, birthing this boy. He’s a big story throughout the book. And a big part of it was about having to just really do a complete adjustment of my attitude and my belief systems and really walk my talk as a spiritual teacher and a manifestor and someone who believes in a higher power.

And so I made that commitment in my own life, and then it was really clear that this was something I had to start to write about in a bigger way. In some ways, it’s sort of like the next step to my book, The Universe Has Your Back, because The Universe Has Your Back was really about transforming your fear into faith. Then, there was this moment of, “And then what? Now that I’ve done this heavy lifting, what can I do with that new energy?” And that’s what Super Attractor is.

Marie Forleo: And what does it mean to a super attractor? How would you define that?

Gabby B: What it means to be a super attractor is that what you believe, you will receive. You align yourself with an energy and a belief system and a thought system that magnetizes what it is that you desire. So you start to really commit fully to what I referred to in the book as your alignment, being in full alignment with feeling good and sticking to, leaning towards the better feeling thoughts and working your way out of the negative holes and patterns and momentum behind the negativity so that you can be an amazing attractor for what it is that you desire without having to do so much.

Marie Forleo: It’s a really hard thing for many of us. I know, you know, especially in our culture right now. I’ll say, you know, you grew up with and one of my strongest qualities is my work ethic, so it can be challenging for some of us to hear this and go like, “But wait.” You know what I mean?

Gabby B: Yeah.

Marie Forleo: It’s like kind of shakes the ground to think that things could actually happen with more ease, but it makes so much sense to think about. Also, just the wellbeing that comes from aligning yourself with feeling good. There’s so much that we can dig into here.

Gabby B: Well, I actually want to say something to that, though, because you are a really good example of someone who’s a super attractor given you work a lot.

Marie Forleo: Yeah.

Gabby B: But you are so aligned with your work that it doesn’t feel like work.

Marie Forleo: Right. Sometimes it does, but a lot of the time, like…

Gabby B: And so those times when it does, that’s when you want to check yourself, go read the book, and get yourself back into alignment, because… Well, for the most part, the successes you’ve had are a result of you taking action from alignment.

Marie Forleo: Yeah. And we’ve known each other for such a long time, so you… You know, Gabby and I have been friends for so long, so she has seen me in front of the camera, behind the camera. We have so many conversations, and I really do love what I do. I love what you wrote on page 51. You write, “The key to feeling good is to decide to stop feeling bad. It’s as simple and profound as that.”

So for anyone watching right now, and I know there are thousands if not hundreds of thousands of folks who are saying to themselves, “But I have really tough circumstances at the moment. I have an illness. I’m suffering from a loss. There was a situation that came and just rocked me back that I didn’t expect. For anyone that feels that maybe the key to feeling good is to decide to stop feeling bad, that feels like an unrealistic jump, what would you say to them to start to make this shift so it can feel authentic?

Gabby B: Well, that’s when you need it most. Actually, I’ll get very personal with your MarieTV people today. I had to really live this one recently. Five months into my postpartum, I was diagnosed with postpartum anxiety and went off the rails. This is something that people don’t talk about. This is something I’m so proud to talk about here on MarieTV with so many women watching.

Marie Forleo: Yes.

Gabby B: And it was very, very scary. And so in those dark, dark moments, when you’re having a biochemical issue and you don’t know what’s going on, how can you just decide to feel good? I want to really speak to that person out there who is thinking, “You know, I’ve lost my job. I have no money to pay the bills or I’m dealing with depression and I can’t get out of it. Or, you know, I’ve lost a family member or a loved one. I’m grieving. What the hell are you talking about? How can I decide to feel good?”

Well, I’ve been there recently. And in that recent experience of really hitting another bottom in my life, the only way up was to decide to feel good. And when I say I had to decide to feel good, I didn’t have to just say overnight, “Okay, I’m going to feel better right now.” I had to make a commitment to do whatever it took to get to the next better feeling. That meant calling a specific doctor. That might’ve meant reaching for a different thought. That might’ve meant not telling the same negative story over and over and over again, not calling a thousand people to obsess about the problem. These small adjustments were my decision to feel good.

And so when you say, “I’m going to decide to feel good,” it doesn’t mean that I’m going to be better tomorrow. But it means that I’m going to start to reach for a better feeling each second so that I can get myself out and start to create different momentum rather than the momentum of the feeling.

Marie Forleo: I love that. And we’re going to get to that in a little bit, in terms of the Abraham Hicks kind of emotional feelings. Actually, why don’t we just go there now? Let’s talk about that, because I know Abraham Hicks… I have run into so many friends recently––it’s wild––that have talked about the power of that teaching. You and I’ve talked about it before, but I feel like it’s kind of in the zeitgeist again in a bigger way right now. You refer to… I think it’s here. I have it flagged in my Super Attractor book. It is the emotional guidance scale. Tell us a little bit about what this is and why it’s important, how it’s relevant to what you just shared.

Gabby B: Esther Hicks is a channel for these beings of love, I would say, really, voices of love called Abraham. And it’s a big theme throughout this book, which is really the teachings of Abraham. Anyone that’s speaking about the law of attraction in an authentic way is in some way referencing Abraham. Period. End of story. I mean, The Secret was based on the principles of Abraham. And so one of their beautiful methods is this method called the emotional guidance scale. The theory is that you wouldn’t go from doubt or devastation to love over one beat. You wouldn’t just leap there, but you would start to go up the scale.

The top of the scale is joy. But I’m actually going to start at the bottom of the scale, because you want to reach for the next best emotion. And so it starts with hatred and rage. And then if you get to a place of revenge, that’s actually a better vibration than hatred and rage. Whereas if you’re going to anger, anger is a better vibration than revenge. Then, it goes to discouragement, blame, worry, doubt. This is all moving up. Doubt is better than worry. Disappointment, better than doubt. Overwhelm, frustration. Pessimism. Boredom. Contentment.

And so now, you’re at contentment, and the next leap is hopefulness. The next leap is now optimism. The next leap is positive expectation, then enthusiasm, passion, and then joy, appreciation and love. The concept here is that let’s say you’re super angry at somebody and you’re just so stuck in that anger and then you move into blame. You just leap up and you’re in blame. You’re like, “I’m going to blame them for all my…” It’s actually a better feeling that anger. So the concept here is that you’re reaching for a better feeling vibration, and you’re reaching yourself out of that low vibration of hatred and rage and getting yourself up the scale.

Marie Forleo: I think what’s so cool about this when I read it was it gives people an opportunity to take a tiny step in the right direction.

Gabby B: Totally.

Marie Forleo: Because for so many of us, you know, there may be times⁠—right?⁠⁠—when we can shift out and it can be that fast and you just have that possibility. But for the times when we can’t, to have another option just feels hopeful.

Gabby B: Absolutely.

Marie Forleo: Feels really hopeful.

Gabby B: Yeah.

Marie Forleo: So let’s talk about your three-step choose again method, which recurred throughout the book. And I thought it was… I love simple concepts, because we can remember them and we can practice them and they actually work. So tell us about the choose again method.

Gabby B: This is how I’ve probably lived my life for over a decade now with this three-step process. And it’s something that’s always going on in the background. In some ways, it’s a little bit like cognitive behavioral therapy where you’re rethinking something and you’re reprogramming and revisiting and reframing. It’s a moment-to-moment subtle shift that you create on your own to start to create a new pattern and a new energy. So the first step is you witness the fear-based thought. You look at the thought. You’re looking at it, you’re like, “This isn’t what I want. I’m feeling funky.” You may not even identify it first as a thought. You might identify it first as a feeling. I’m not feeling good.

Marie Forleo: Right. Yeah. You find yourself feeling like crap or you feel stuck or you feel down or you feel, you know, depressed or anxious or whatever it is, and you notice that this isn’t necessarily the way that you want to feel.

Gabby B: Yeah. So what am I thinking and how am I feeling? And you look at it and you witness it and you call it out. The next step is actually to forgive the thought. This is sort of a weird one for people, but the concept of forgiving the thought means that you’re taking its power away. You’re dissolving it with love. You’re saying, “This isn’t me. This isn’t the truth of who I am. I forgive this. I forgive myself for having this thought,” and you start to clean the slate. And then the third step is to ask the universe for guidance to reframe it.

Because sometimes when we’re in that low vibration, we don’t have the mental conditioning yet to think a new thought because we’re so stuck in the momentum of that negative thought. And so this is where surrender and prayer comes in and it’s a huge theme throughout the book, which is our commitment to believing in a higher power of our own understanding, whatever that might be for the reader or for the viewer, that you then can literally say, “Thank you for reframing this for me.”

There’s so much peace in just giving it over. There’s so much peace in just saying, “I don’t really have the answer for this. I welcome a higher power to reorganize this for me.” And so you’ve done your part by looking at it, forgiving it, and then giving it away is the third step, turning it over. Then, what happens, ultimately, is once you give it away, a new idea will come to you, or someone will call you with a new suggestion or solution, or you’ll just start to feel better because you’ve surrendered it.

Marie Forleo: Yeah. There’s a lot of ease and efficiency, and I like faith in that.

Gabby B: Yeah.

Marie Forleo: I love that piece of it. And I feel like any time, in my own kind of journey of working and coaching with people, there’s so much power for all of us, for myself included, in slowing down enough to identify the thought that you’re hanging onto that’s the source of the misery.

Gabby B: Totally.

Marie Forleo: And recognizing, like the name says, we have the power to choose again. So cool. Let’s talk about the story. One of my… You tell so many great stories in this book. Let’s talk about the one that happened when you found that hate-filled post about you on the Facebook.

Gabby B: I get a call from one of my team members, and she’s like, “Oh, don’t go on Facebook.” And I was like, “What?” And she’s like, “There is a whole person’s Facebook page and they’re railing on you and they’re going off about you.” And maybe like 30 people had chimed in, being like, “Oh. You hate Gabby Bernstein? Thank God somebody’s talking about it.” Just like, you know, going after me.

Marie Forleo: Yeah.

Gabby B: Well, 30 people is a small number in the grand scheme of the universe. This feels really overwhelming, and even one person hating you on the Internet can shake you to your core. So I do what anyone would do in that moment, and I start to go down that hole of shame and upset and what did I do wrong and how could I have triggered these people in this way and what, you know, what is my part? And just getting so hooked into it, even though, you know, a lot of what was being said was being said without any information. Right?

You know. But regardless, I didn’t even need to dig into it to feel the feelings of discomfort. And I was getting really, really hung up about it, really hung up about it. It took, you know, probably… It was about a full day of just like being down and bummed out. And I remember I was watching television with my husband at night, and I was staring at my phone, just being like, “Did more people weigh in? What’s happening?” He looks at me. He’s like, “What is going on? What? You can’t even be present with me in this room. Why are you so stuck in this?”

I was like, “It feels so horrible to be, you know, pounded on on the Internet and I’m so upset about it.” And he said, “Listen. You got it all wrong, girl.” This is when my husband became my guru. And he said, “You are focusing all your energy on these 30 people who are hating you, but you have thousands of people on your DM on Instagram that are trying to send you love, that are asking you questions, that want your support, and you don’t even know how to find your DM.”

Marie Forleo: You and me are in the same boat for a long time. I feel horrible. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Gabby B: I had no idea how to find my DM. And he’s like, “You don’t even know how to find it.” He’s like, “Let me show you how to find your DM and focus on the people that need you, not on these people that are hating on you.” So I spend the next four days just DMing, DMing, DMing. I went on my Instagram. I was like, “Y’all. Who wants to DM? Let’s go.” And so I’m just like in it and in it and just feeling so… Within 48 hours, I was just like so transformed by just being in the service of others and connecting to the people that really wanted to hear from me and wanted my support.

And what happened that was so transformational was I woke up one morning, a few days into this, and I woke up at like 5:00 AM. And I was still a little upset by this.

Marie Forleo: Yeah. The thought came right back in.

Gabby B: Yeah. Oh, there they are. Why are they talking about me?

Marie Forleo: Of course.

Gabby B: And in that moment, I was like, “Okay. Zach said, ‘Get on DM.’” So I get back on my DM and I start DMing and I see this girl. She’s talking to me, and she’s saying, “You know, listen. I was sober for two years. I just went out. I feel like I want to commit suicide right now.” I started DMing with her. Within the hour, I’m on the phone with her. And that day, she made a commitment to go back to recovery. So I have deep gratitude for those haters, because those haters gave me this beautiful opportunity to be of service to somebody and potentially save her life and also just get over it.

Marie Forleo: Yeah.

Gabby B: Yeah.

Marie Forleo: It’s so powerful. And I wanted you to tell that story in the context of being a super attractor, because this is not about feeling good all the time. That’s impossible. And it’s not about living in such a bubble or such a space where bad things, hurtful things, painful things don’t happen. But I think what’s so wonderful about this particular book is it’s like, “Hey. We can expect all this stuff, but here are really concrete tools and some great stories that will help you reframe these situations in a new light and pick yourself back up with external support.”

I think that’s another really interesting thing. You told a great story in there, and I’m wondering if you can retell it here, about one of the inspirations for this book was ironically on your last tour, right?

Gabby B: Yeah.

Marie Forleo: You went hard, girl, and I know, you know, you’re a hard worker. But you started to notice a thought that you were having that was stressing you out and having you feel unsupported.

Gabby B: Yeah. Yeah. On the book tour for my book, Judgment Detox, I got out of alignment. One of my key team members was on maternity, and I was dealing with a gut condition and I was super stressed and just feeling unsupported and got really, really taken out. I open the book by telling that story, because the thrill of being able to write this book was what was going to heal me from that, like recovery from that.

And so I literally started writing this book on the tail end of that launch, because I needed to remind myself of what I knew to be true and I needed to get back into alignment. I mean, I literally… The first page of the book is like, “I’m so psyched to be writing this book.” And I hope that the reader feels that energy, because I was just ready to just reconnect. Whenever we’re in a place where we’re pushing or controlling or manipulating or trying to make things happen, we are cutting off our super attractor power and the universe slapped me on the wrist for that. There was some interesting things that came up during that launch that that really rocked me. And they were blessings, because the universe will reveal to us what we need to heal.

Marie Forleo: And can you tell about the belief that you had? Like if I’m not doing it, it’s not going to get done? I’m paraphrasing you there.

Gabby B: Absolutely. That’s pretty much it. It’s like this is an old story I carried for many, many years. If I’m not doing it, it won’t happen. And I’m really proud to say, actually, with your help, with Kris Carr’s help, I have transformed that story completely. I am so good at asking for help now, Marie.

Marie Forleo: I love it. Yes.

Gabby B: I kill at it, and I have like the most amazing people supporting me in all ways. And so I want anyone that’s listening to know that that is something that can be transformed. The methods in this book are designed to help people transform belief systems like that. So that was a crippling belief system that haunted me for years, that if I don’t do it, nobody else will. You know, you can burn yourself out real fast with that belief system. And I did.

Marie Forleo: Yeah, and it’s evidence, too, I think, of… I try and hunt for this in my own life. You know, where am I holding myself back because I am so committed to a certain version of reality? And I just keep creating that reality again and again and… I’m real good at it, like most of us are, right? We’re really good at it, and we’re really convinced, “No, this is the way it is.”

Gabby B: Yeah.

Marie Forleo: And so what I love about that story is that you were able to notice that recurring thought/belief and go, “Okay. Let’s try something different.”

Gabby B: Let’s try something different. That’s right.

Marie Forleo: Let’s try something totally different.

Gabby B: That’s right. And we all know the stories that hold us back and the limitations, and many of us have them in one corner of our life and not in another, or we have them in maybe many. But those belief systems are the reason that we continue to stay stuck, continue to play small, continue to feel blocked. This book is really just about reframing, reorganizing, and reestablishing a new way of living so that you can just not be so stuck in those patterns.

Marie Forleo: Let’s talk about receiving guidance for a minute, because you were telling the story about early on in your journey. And I’ve called you. I remember I was, you know, we’ve had so many talks about this, but I was like, “Okay. Who’s one of my friends who is so good getting our thoughts down, getting content down?” And I was like, “Gabs. I’m going to call Gabs,” and we were talking about the book. I remember you had told me, like, “Marie. You know, I just sit down and it comes out.” I remember thinking to myself, like, “Shit. That is just so not me.”

In this book, you told the story about right before you were writing your first book, Add More Ing To My Life, which is around when you and I met, you felt a sense of fear because you hadn’t written a book yet.

Gabby B: Yeah.

Marie Forleo: Can you talk to us about how you felt then, what you recognize for yourself? Because I think there might be people in the audience who want to write a book, who dream of writing a book, and may find themselves where I was when I called you and in your shoes way many years ago.

Gabby B: Yeah. Well, I knew that there was a book in me, many books in me, but I had no idea how to string a sentence together. My literary education ended in eighth grade. I had no idea how to create the structure of a book, how to write an outline, none of those things.

Marie Forleo: Tell stories.

Gabby B: None of it.

Marie Forleo: None of it.

Gabby B: None of it.

Marie Forleo: Yeah.

Gabby B: And so at the time I had to… But I was really good at selling. So I sold my book, because I had a good idea and I had built a bit of a platform. So I sold the book to a publisher, and then I was like, “Uh-oh. I have to write the book.” So for me it all came down to surrender. It came down to fully turning it over. At the time… This is a beautiful story in the book. There’s many stories that align with this specific time in my life. But I was really needing guidance to show me, you know, what does an outline of a book look like. And so I started to pray for it.

At the time, I had a friend who had passed on, a young woman in my sober community, who had died and very suddenly. And when we were invited to… Some of us were invited to go collect some of her belongings after her parents had been in her apartment. And so I remember I got the hit that I needed to take her books. I drove my car over to her apartment, and I filled my car up. It’s just like boxes and boxes and boxes of all these self help books. And I stacked my walls with these beautiful books. And I just left them there, didn’t even know what to do with them.

Around this time when I was trying to figure out what to do with Add More Ing to your Life, I woke up in the middle of the night and I walked over just randomly to the bookshelf and put my hand on a book and pulled this random book off the shelf that I’d never seen before. It was this book called Living in the Light by Shakti Gawain. I read that book that night, and that book inspired the simple outline that became Add More Ing to your Life. And so sometimes when we read another book, we get the inspiration of how we want to outline our our own.

But the beauty of that was I kept thinking, “Where did this book come from? I don’t know this book. I didn’t buy this book. Where did it…” And this was months after Lauren had passed, and I realized it was Lauren’s book. I talk a lot about guidance from above and the deceased family members and friends. I know Lauren guided me to that book, and Add More Ing to your Life is actually dedicated to her.

Marie Forleo: That’s awesome.

Gabby B: Yeah.

Marie Forleo: So beautiful. And speaking of guidance, I want to build on that because I feel like this is the first book where you have kind of gone into… Like you and I have had private conversations, but I’ve never read you writing about here are all the sources of invisible guidance that are available should you want to choose to invite them to support you from your own higher self, from the universe or source, from God, if you choose to use that language, from archangels and guardian angels.

And I was like, “Yay, Gabby.” I was so excited to read that chapter. Do you want to speak into that at all?

Gabby B: I do, and I write in the book about how I’m going to push the metaphysical envelope and I’m going to go to places I haven’t gone before. And I never went there before, because I didn’t want to alienate my reader and I had a lot of new seekers that were joining me on this journey. But I feel right now that people are completely ready for this conversation, and they can take it or leave it and make it their own. My beliefs do not have to be theirs, so that’s a really important point that whatever we believe when we think about a higher power, spiritual presence is what we believe. All that matters is that you believe it, not that someone said it’s this or that.

It may be a religious spiritual belief system. It may be a belief system from your childhood, maybe something that you read in a book that resonated with you. You decide. That’s the beautiful thing about being on a spiritual path. But what I share is what I believe to be true about what it means to connect to the voice of our higher self, our inner guidance system and our inner wisdom versus what it means to rely on a guide or a angel or a deceased family member or a loved one. And so I believe we all have a team of guides, or spiritual guides that work on our behalf all the time. What they’re there for is often to be a bridge for our thoughts. So when our thoughts are in those low vibrations, if we pray to a guide or we pray to God or we pray to an angel, we can say, “Thank you for bridging my thought from this low vibrational, fear-based belief system to a higher vibe.”

And the way that they would do that may be by putting a book in front of you or guiding you to an episode of MarieTV that is going to just change your mind. Guides work through the Internet and books and people and your subconscious. And so you’re going to… Maybe when you have those moments where you’re like, “I have this sense that I need to watch that episode of MarieTV right now,” maybe somebody watching just got the hit, that could’ve been your guide just giving you that boost of inspiration. Watch that. Watch that, because that’s going to change you.

And so don’t underestimate those moments of synchronicity, because there’s support that’s leading you in those synchronistic moments. The more that we align with our spiritual belief systems and the more we allow ourselves to accept that it’s good to feel good and the more we use things like the emotional guidance scale or the choose again method or any of the methods in this book, the better we feel. And the better we feel, the more we can hear the guidance that we’re receiving. The guidance is always there, but we block it. We cut it off. And so we can open up to that guidance.

I tell lots of stories about my guides in this book.

Marie Forleo: Yeah, I know. It’s awesome. It reminded me, too. My mom has always taught me that I have a number of guardian angels. You know, I remember when I was younger, I railed against it like many of us do when you just kind of rail against your parents for whatever reason. But it warmed my heart when I read this in your book, because it reminded me of so much good stuff that my mom has tried to share with me.

Gabby B: I’m going to send your mom a copy of the book.

Marie Forleo: Yeah. She’ll love it. She’ll absolutely love it. So let’s talk about honoring our fear as a guide back to love. What does that mean in practical terms? Can you give us an example?

Gabby B: Yeah. This is something that came up towards the end of the book as I was writing, and I felt really called to not wrap the book up by saying, “Okay. Now you’re fixed. Like everything’s good, right?” but to really honor what comes up in every moment. Because in my book, The Universe Has Your Back, I talk about spiritual assignments, that when things come up they’re an assignment offering us an opportunity to grow and heal. Any fear-based experience is just revealing to us the hidden parts of our shadow, or a fearful thought that’s coming up again or an experience that feels like a block is once again revealing to us something that we still need to heal. And so honoring our fear rather than resisting it, honoring the moments in our life that are the most uncomfortable, because they reveal to us the light that we’re ready to step into.

It’s a very big reframe, particularly when you’re going through really tough times. But when you’re going through really tough times, you need that reframe most. I’ve been celebrating a lot of the miracles that have been happening since I’ve been going through this journey of the postpartum stuff that comes up. I have had so many miracles, so many miracles of being able to… And even just the miracle of being able to speak about it publicly, to take away the shame and the stigma of it.

Marie Forleo: Yeah.

Gabby B: So we have to see the purpose in why we go through things.

Marie Forleo: Yeah. I love it. All of us are going to hit those fearful moments. And to see it as an opportunity to guide ourselves back to love, it makes my, my shoulders rest a little easier and gives me an opportunity to take a breath, which is really, really beautiful. I want to end on the power of appreciation. You talk about appreciation. I think appreciation is honestly like the biggest super tool in the damn universe for shifting our energy and attention. You shared the Al-Anon lesson. Being grateful doesn’t mean we have to be happy about everything, but grateful for the lessons. We can accept that even the tough moments are divine lessons that guide us back to love.

Appreciation. I just feel like, gosh, the moment you find yourself in a shitty state, right? That’s the thing.

Gabby B: That’s it.

Marie Forleo: That’s the thing. If you can’t appreciate whatever is happening that you perceive to be wrong, it’s like we have an opportunity to maybe look someplace else, like, “Am I still breathing?”

Gabby B: Yup. Yup.

Marie Forleo: Yes. Okay. It’s a good day. Do I still have a roof over my head?

Gabby B: Yeah. I think that the appreciation dissolves the boundary of fear and appreciation creates more of what you want. So if you’ve got something good going on, go appreciate it even more. Talk about it. Thrive in it, write about it. Feel it. Meditate on the feeling of it, because then you create more of it. If you’re in a funk, lean on what you appreciate to get you out of that funk and make appreciation a daily habit. You know, like when you and Josh wake up in the morning.

Abraham Hicks has this thing called the appreciation game, where you can just play the appreciation game and just say, “I appreciate you because you make me coffee and I appreciate you because you’re a good dancer.” I’m just thinking about you and Josh. I appreciate you because you’re so funny on television. Whatever it is, you know?

Marie Forleo: Yeah.

Gabby B: But just really appreciating your spouse, your children, and play that game with your children. Oh my goodness. Start your day going back and forth with why you appreciate one another and it immediately just realigns you, puts you into this state where you feel so good. Because how can you… You can’t feel bad in the presence of appreciation, and it will catapult you out of the negativity. That’s what this is all about. This is all about taking these moments and using these methods and these practices to consciously and proactively bridge yourself from that low vibration to a better feeling emotion. And in that better feeling emotion, you become a super attractor.

Marie Forleo: Well, I am so appreciative of you, my friend. I love you so much. Thank you for also making such a big focus of this book how important it is for us to lean into having fun and having joy. And I love having fun with you, and I love having you on the show. Thank you for yet another spectacular book.

Gabby B: Thank you. I appreciate you.

Marie Forleo: Now, Gabby and I would love to hear from you. We talked about so many beautiful things today, but I’m curious. What was the one insight that you’re taking away? And most important, how can you turn that insight into action starting right now? Leave a comment below and let us know.

Now the most magical conversations happen over at the land of marieforleo.com, so head on over there and leave a comment now. While you’re there, please subscribe to our email list and become an MF insider. You’ll get instant access to an audio I created called How To Get Anything You Want. It’s so good. Plus, you’ll get some exclusive content and special giveaways and some personal updates from me that I just don’t share anywhere else. Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams, because the world needs that very special gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching, and we’ll catch you next time on MarieTV.

Hey. You having trouble bringing your dreams to life? Well, guess what? The problem isn’t you. It’s not that you’re not hardworking or intelligent or deserving. It’s that you haven’t yet installed the one key belief that will change it all—everything is figureoutable. It’s my new book and it launches September 10th. You can order it now at everythingisfigureoutable.com.

Marie Forleo: We should do this for a living.

Gabby B: Seriously.

Marie Forleo: Everything is really figureoutable. Marie Forleo was an American life coach, inspirational speaker and author in the 2000s.