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Button TextIf you like to dream big, it’s almost guaranteed that you’ll face criticism.
That criticism usually comes from well-meaning family, friends, and colleagues who want to protect you from disappointment.
But the most damaging criticism often comes from within.
It’s your own self-doubt that can destroy big dreams. It’s the fear you’ll lose steam before you reach the finish line. That you’ll stumble and fall flat on your face. That you’re too old or too young or don’t have what it takes to achieve the life you want.
If you’ve ever lost motivation because you’re afraid your dreams are too unrealistic, this one’s for you. Keep reading to learn how to dream big (yes, even if those dreams seem outrageous right now), including five research-backed ways to achieve your biggest goals.
Plus, I tucked in a few of my favorite inspiring “dream bigger” quotes to keep you inspired.
How to Dream Big
If you want to achieve big things, you have to start with big dreams.
Here’s exactly what that means and how to keep going in the face of criticism, fear, and self-doubt.
What Does It Mean to Dream Big?
Big dreams are the goals that make your heart jump with fear or excitement (or both!). Often, just saying these dreams out loud will make you scream with delight and expand your landscape of possibilities. At first blush, monumental dreams seem impossibly out of reach.
Whatever sets your heart on fire and makes you come alive, that’s what you should focus on. Right now, your soul is aching to be heard. Its role is to guide the unfolding of your life. Listen to it.
A few years ago I went to a conference. As it tends to happen at this kind of thing, I saw a bunch of people who I’ve known for years. It’s always exciting to catch up with folks and trade stories on how much we’ve all grown.
I even caught a glimpse of someone who, about 7 years ago, had let me know that I was dreaming a bit too big.
Meaning, he felt that my goals at that time were unrealistic. He told me that I was setting myself up for disappointment and suggested that I lower my expectations and take things slower.
Initially, I felt deflated. His feedback was sound and he delivered his perspective with a lot of compassion and respect.
But when I stepped back and reexamined my goals — I realized that yes, I was in fact dreaming big! My goals were outrageous, but it was exactly the kind of outrageous that would fire me up and motivate me to work my tail off to make my dreams a reality. (And yes, eventually I did hit those unrealistic goals.)
You have the power within. It’s not your past that’s going to define who you are, but it’s what you believe about yourself; what you expect from yourself.
You have the power within. It’s not your past that’s going to define who you are, but it’s what you believe about yourself; what you expect from yourself.
~ Dr. Tererai Trent
Your wild ambitions will almost certainly freak you out. That means you’re on the right track. A big dream is about wanting more, expecting more, and knowing you can do more than what anyone would call “realistic.”
Is It Okay to Dream Big?
Heck yes it is!!
Powerful, exciting, unrealistic dreams are not only okay; they’re 100% necessary.
You’ve heard me say it before: The world needs that special gift that only you have. If you don’t dare to dream big and take steps to achieve your dreams, you’re stealing from those who need you most..
The world needs that special gift that only you have.
The world needs that special gift that only you have.
~ Marie Forleo (that’s me!)
You’re going to come across more than a few people who’ll tell you that your dreams are unrealistic and aiming too high will set you up for disappointment. But just because someone else says, “No, you can’t” or “No, that’s not possible,” doesn’t mean you have to agree with their version of reality.
You won’t always be victorious, but you never know what’s truly possible unless you try.
How Do You Start Dreaming Big?
Having a dream is about more than just setting goals and achieving them. Every one of us has a deep hunger for something more, and every single one of us is here for a reason.
Dreaming big means striving to fulfill that reason — over and over again.
Even if you tick some goals off your list, you’ll find yourself uninspired and unmotivated if you don’t continue to dream big.
To be happy, us humans need to constantly challenge ourselves — learning, growing, helping others, and following a compelling vision for our life.
A vision isn’t just a picture of what could be; it’s an appeal to our better selves, a call to become something more.
A vision isn’t just a picture of what could be; it’s an appeal to our better selves, a call to become something more.
~ Rosabeth Kanter
We all have massive dreams inside us. But you might need a little help figuring out what yours look like.
Try this exercise: Tap into your inner voice by taking out a journal, looking into your heart, and answering these questions:
- What do you want to experience in life over the next five, 10, or 20 years?
- What kinds of things do you want to do, be, and create in this world?
- How do you want to make an impact — through your family, your creativity, or a problem you want to solve?
- What kind of life do you want to look back on from your deathbed?
In my 20s, I would journal to a higher power and ask for direction. To discover how you’re meant to use your gifts in this world, look outside yourself (God, Source, Smurf Fairies — whatever form of higher intelligence you might believe in) for guidance. Then be open to receiving it.
5 Simple & Effective Steps to Achieve Big Dreams
Once you’ve given yourself permission to dream big, it’s time to do the work.
If you don’t take thoughtful, conscious steps to tackle your unrealistic dreams, they ain’t gonna happen.
In this MarieTV (and in the post after the video, if you prefer to keep reading), I share exactly what you can do to chase those unrealistic dreams and make them a reality.
listen to this episode on the marie forleo podcast
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View Transcript
Bam. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Coming at you. Ding!
Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business and life you love. Now, if you’ve ever lost motivation because you’re afraid your dreams are just too unrealistic, this one is for you. Today’s question comes from Bree who writes:
“Hey, Marie. You’re such an inspiration. I so respect your advice.” Thank you. “Here’s my situation. My whole life I’ve had big dreams and lots of ambition, then this little word started to pop up from people around me: unrealistic. For example, I wanted to work in publishing and was told that was unrealistic. There were so many obstacles and so few jobs. However, I now work for the second largest publishing company in the world. But there’s a new dream I want to pursue and I can already hear the cacophony of voices in my head insisting this dream is unrealistic. A certain level of realism is necessary, but too much can create self doubt. So Marie, how do I handle not only hearing from others how unrealistic my dream is, but also not let myself drown out my own desires? Thank you so much. Bree.”
I love this question so much, Bree. Every single one of us who both dreams and creates things faces voices of dissent both from people that we know, from people that we don’t know, and very often the most deadly comes from within. And if we don’t take a thoughtful, conscious approach to taking on our unrealistic dreams, they just ain’t gonna happen. But if you are up for the challenge, and I think you are, here are five steps that can help.
Step number one is frame your dream, and here’s what this means. We can’t become what we can’t envision. So when I say frame your dream, what I mean is I want you to take a picture of it in your mind’s eye in vivid, specific detail, and then what I want you to do is translate that picture into words, meaning write down that big, unrealistic dream. And I know that you may have heard about the power of writing things down before, but the truth is, most people just don’t do it, which is so crazy because the research is conclusive on this. There was a study done by Dr. Gail Matthews that shows that you are 42% more likely to achieve your goals if you write them down. So what I want you to do is whip out your journal or hop on that keyboard and get writing.
Step number two is filter opinions and fend off negativity. You’ve got to take responsibility for the energy that you allow in your life. I want you to fend off negativity as much as humanly possible. You know, we know so much more about the brain than we did just 20 years ago. Neuroscience has taught us incredible things like that our brains are continuously shaped by our thoughts and our experiences, and you know this to be true. I mean, negativity is one of the most toxic forces on the planet. It’s toxic for your brain, for your nervous system, and for your ability to stay motivated. So do me this favor, okay? Do not solicit or listen to the opinions of people who are notorious for just being Debbie Downers. The one mistake that I’ve seen people make consistently is they almost habitually talk to the exact person who is the most likely to shoot them down and make them feel like crap. So don’t do that.
And here’s another key, I want you to always, always, always consider the source, meaning don’t put a lot of stock into other people’s opinions unless they’re actually out there consistently taking risks and being brave and actually making things happen. I mean, if you think about it, let’s say, I don’t know, you wanted to climb Mount Everest. Would you ever take advice from someone who’s never even attempted the summit? No, of course not. That would be crazy. So don’t take advice from anyone unless you really think it though.
And I want you to ask, has this person achieved an unrealistic or impossible dream? Are they taking meaningful risks on a consistent basis? Do you admire who they are, how they live, and what they contribute? If not, do not use them as a sounding board for your idea.
Step number three is flood yourself with positive examples. So once you’ve removed the negative outputs as best as you can, step number three is all about feeding your mind and surrounding yourself with positive stories on a consistent basis of other people who have achieved unrealistic dreams. So think about Helen Keller, for example, who was blind and deaf by the age of two, yet with the help of teachers she created this extraordinary literary career writing hundreds of speeches and essays and books. And there are thousands of biographies at the library or even on Netflix. And the great thing that I love about biographies is you also get a chance to witness other people’s stumbles and their falls and all the failures that they experience along the way. Which, of course, stumbles and falls and failures, those are inevitable for all of us. And, you know, it’s worth noting that just about anyone whose achievements are worthy of a biography or a documentary probably had an unrealistic dream. So do this for me, feed your mind examples of people who speak out and stand up for what they believe in and make change happen.
Step number four is fast forward. So if you’ve watched this show for any amount of time you know this, I love end of life studies. And here’s what we know for a fact, when you’re on your deathbed, you couldn’t care less about what anybody who says your dreams are unrealistic says. I mean, Bronnie Ware’s research tells us this very, very clearly that the single biggest regret people have when they’re about to pass is this: I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
So Bree, my friend, stop worrying about what other people might think or say about how unrealistic your dream is. It really does not matter. The only thing that matters is what you do about it now.
Step number five is focus on action. So this, my friend, is the most important step of all. Action is the antidote to fear and you don’t have to take perfect action, you just need to take any action. Brick by brick, inch by inch, step by step, that is how all great things are achieved. And you know my mantra, I believe everything is figureoutable. And the best way to figure anything out is through action based learning. So one more thing before we wrap up, Bree. Unrealistic dreams are totally where it’s at. That’s where all the growth and the excitement in life comes from. After all, what other kind of dreams are there? Dreams like this?
Marie, you will not believe the dream I had last night. So reasonable. I’m shopping, I’m getting all my normal vegetables, but they didn’t have avocados. I asked the manager, he brought me some from the back. So realistic. So inspiring.
Wow, that sounds inspiring. I mean, you can do that. I think… I think you can make that happen.
So Bree, there you have it. Five steps to help you bring your unrealistic dreams to life. And if you ever start to waver, remember this tweetable.
If someone tells you your big dream is unrealistic, that’s a sure sign you should go for it.
That was my A to your Q, Bree, and I really hope it helps. Now I would love to hear from you. What unrealistic dream are you working to bring to life? And what, if anything, has been stopping you?
Now, as always, the best conversations happen at MarieForleo.com, so head on over there and leave a comment now. Once you’re there, be sure to subscribe to our email list and become an MF insider. You’re gonna get instant access to a powerful audio training called How to Get Anything You Want. You’ll also get exclusive content and special giveaways and personal updates from me that I just don’t share anywhere else.
Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams because the world needs that special gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching and I’ll catch you next time on MarieTV.
Wow. Mister international. You and Pitbull.
Get buck buck wild. Reel it on in.
I had to do it. I needed to just get it out. I love you guys. Okay.
Follow these five simple steps to push past the doubt, and achieve your goals — no matter how big you dream:
1. Frame your dream. You can’t be what you can’t see. Make your dream real by viewing it in your mind’s eye. Get as vivid and specific as possible, then translate that picture into words. According to research by Dr. Gail Matthews at Dominican University, you are 42% more likely to achieve your goals when you write them down.
2. Filter opinions and fend off negativity. If you wanted to climb Mt. Everest, would you take advice from someone who’s never even attempted the summit? Don’t solicit feedback from people who just want to shoot down your dreams. Take responsibility for the energy you allow into your life. If you hear that you’re being unrealistic, consider the source.
3. Flood yourself with positive examples. Once you’ve installed your Debbie Downer Detector, look for the opposite. Feed your mind with inspiration and positive stories of people who’ve achieved unrealistic dreams. Finding role models is one of the best and most powerful ways to transcend your own limiting beliefs. Alive or dead, famous or unknown, inspiring examples can be found through biographies, movies, interviews, or simply by paying closer attention to good people in your life.
4. Fast forward. In her beloved book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, former palliative carer Bonnie Ware shared the No. 1 regret people have about their lives: “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” From your deathbed, what kind of life do you want to look back on? Trust me, when you look back on your accomplishments, you won’t care whether other people thought your dreams were too big.
5. Focus on action. Big dreams might feel outrageous, but one mantra has served me time and time again: “Everything is figureoutable.” Once you know the dream you want to chase, the most important step is to take action. It doesn’t have to be perfect! You just need to keep moving.
Clearly define those dreams, shut down the haters, surround yourself with inspiration, imagine a life you love, and keep moving forward. Brick by brick, inch by inch, step by step — that’s how all great things are achieved.
Dare to Dream Big
All of life’s excitement and growth comes from knowing how to dream big — and making big dreams a reality. If you hold yourself back you will rob countless people of the goodness and joy and healing and growth that only your unique contributions can offer.
These five simple strategies will help you combat the negative voices (including your own!) that can keep you playing small.
Because you know what? No one ever changed the world without in some way, dreaming big.
Now it’s time to turn this insight into action.
Grab a notebook and spend five to 10 minutes writing down your answers to these questions:
What seemingly “unrealistic” dream are you working to bring to life?
What, if anything, has been stopping you until now?
I can’t wait to see what you dream up.
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