What to Do When You Feel Useless and Alone

(singing).

Hey there, it’s Marie Forleo and you’re watching MarieTV, the most beautiful place to be if you want a business and a life that you love. And today is one of the best days of the week. It’s Tuesday, it’s Q&A Tuesday, and that means Q’s and A’s, and today’s Q comes from Ajah.

And she writes, “Hi Marie, how are you? I’m a 15 year old girl from Montreal, Canada. First, I’d like to say thank you for your videos. They really helped me, smiley face. Here’s my Q. A lot of times I feel like I’m not needed, and I’m useless, and a mistake, and an ugly girl. I’m so alone and it feels like I’m drowning and cannot breathe. Is there a way that you can help me and other kids out there who go through the same thing? Love, Ajah.”

Ajah, this is a really important question, and before we get into the answer, I want to tell you five things that I know about you as a human being just by reading your question. Number one, you are so brave. You shared something publicly that’s clearly painful for you right now.

Number two, you are kind and you’re considerate. First of all, you asked how I’m doing when you’re having a really rough time, and you also included the phonetic pronunciation of your name, which is unique, and you did that so I wouldn’t have to stumble figuring out how to pronounce it.

Number three, you are a really gifted communicator. You asked your question so succinctly, and out of all of the thousands of questions I get, yours was one of the first that I didn’t have to shorten. You’re also a leader because you’re asking this question, not just for yourself but on behalf of all other kids that go through this too. And finally, you are an action-taker. You know, not everybody who feels the way that you do would actually write the email and send it in to get help. So that’s something you should really take pride in.

When I was a teenager, I often felt the same way that you do. I remember thinking that my eyes were too far apart, that I had way too much arm hair. I had braces, I had glasses, and I often hated the way that I looked. But I want to tell you something that I wish someone told me when I was your age. You know, we all have this voice in our head that says mean things to us, but as Eckhart Tolle teaches us, “You have a mind but you are not your mind.”

In other words, that voice in your head that calls you ugly and useless, that voice is not you Ajah, and it’s not true. Some people like to call that voice our ego. Other people call it our monkey mind. I like to think about it like a radio station that plays in all of our heads in the background and that radio station is called W-KRAP FM.

You’re listening to W-KRAP FM.

W-KRAP!

Playing today’s greatest hits to let you know that you suck.

You suck!

24 hours a day, morning, noon, and night.

Loser.

All suck, no rock. Now back to more crap about you that’s not even true!

Look Ajah, I know that we’re poking a little bit of fun here, but this is something that I really want you to get. That voice doesn’t know jack. Seriously, who you are is the awareness beyond that voice. And one of the secrets to happiness in life is to train yourself to recognize when you’re listening to that voice, it really is crap radio. And here’s the thing. That voice seems to pop up for all of us throughout our entire life, and the real secret is to recognize when you’re listening to crap radio and then change the station.

These three tips will help. Number one is meditate on the daily. I know we’ve talked about this before, but it is so important. I’ve been meditating since I was 17 and it has completely changed my life. Every single time that you meditate you strengthen your connection to your true self, not to crap radio. And the other thing is, every time you meditate, you strengthen your ability to disengage from crap radio whenever it comes up. You know, you don’t need to do a ton. Again, I usually do 10 minutes a day, more if I have time. But if you want to check it out, there is boatloads of research that proved scientifically how beneficial meditation is for your mind, your body, and your soul.

Number two is you can help someone. So one of the best ways to disengage from crap radio is to actually engage with the world around you. So Ajah, maybe you can help someone else with their homework or give someone a genuine compliment. You know, if you enjoyed hearing those five great things about you, maybe you want to write down five great things about somebody else onto a card and send it to them. I mean, who wouldn’t want to get that?

Number three is change the station. And I mean literally change the station. If you find yourself listening to crap radio, I want you to change the station and put on some killer music and dance it out. In fact, I think we should do that right now.

(singing).

Ajah!

Ajah!

Ajah!

But seriously, Ajah, crank up those tunes and get moving. It’s really important that you make the mind/body connection. Anytime that you exercise, which, yes, includes dance, you are going to release all of these endorphins that will completely change how you feel about yourself and the world around you. So, as we wrap up, I want to leave you with one last idea that I want you to take into the rest of your life. And yes, it’s a Tweetable.

"That mean voice in your head is not you and not true.”

That was my A to your Q. Please keep in touch with us and let us know how it goes. Now, I would love to hear from you. Did you ever feel like Ajah does? Or do you feel that way now? How do you deal with crap radio? And of course, if you have something special that you want to tell Ajah, please let her know in the comments below. And for extra credit, you should copy and paste the prompt below so you can share five great things about somebody you know.

As always, the best discussions happen after the episode over at marieforleo.com, so go on over and leave a comment now. What’d you think? Did you like this video? If so, consider subscribing to our channel and we would be so appreciative if you shared this with your friends. And if you want even more great resources to create a business and life that you love, plus some personal insights from me that I only get to talk about an email, come on over to marieforleo.com and make sure you sign up for email updates.

Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams because the world needs that special gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching, and I’ll catch you next time on MarieTV.

How you guys doing? Oh my goodness.

You suck!

Let’s do that again. That was amazing.

How you doing? Really. Tell me. How are you?