![](https://assets-global.website-files.com/5f2ae813361eff3ad9282b29/6491fa00915c7ac099f4c37d_Hi%20I%27m%20Marie.webp)
Hi! I'm Marie
You have gifts to share with the world and my job is to help you get them out there.
Read MoreHeading
![](https://assets-global.website-files.com/5f2ae813361eff3ad9282b29/6154e50d4e51994a9f5cbb3f_StressLog.png)
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Suspendisse varius enim in eros elementum tristique. Duis cursus, mi quis viverra ornare, eros dolor interdum nulla, ut commodo diam libero vitae erat. Aenean faucibus nibh et justo cursus id rutrum lorem imperdiet. Nunc ut sem vitae risus tristique posuere.
Button TextHave you ever felt torn when it comes to the idea of “competition?”
For example, how do you respond when someone in your industry asks you to open your business kimono — so to speak — and spill all of your hard-earned secrets?
While most of us know that there are more than enough customers, love, opportunities and success to go around, and we love to help others…
We also have the right to choose what we feel comfortable sharing, when and with whom.
Like most things in life, there’s not one right answer here. So much of it is about context.
But the real reason I wanted to tackle this question is because it’s something many of us secretly feel ashamed, conflicted and embarrassed about.
Especially if we’re on a spiritual path.
We worry that wanting to keep some things private makes us ultra-competitive, scarcity-minded, stingy, less enlightened or somehow a “bad” person.
Not true at all.
We shouldn’t make ourselves wrong for feeling how we feel.
And making a blanket statement that you should always do something or never do something fails to honor the nuances and complexity of life, as well as the wisdom of your intuition.
The good news is that when we’re not comfortable sharing (for whatever reason!) we can handle situations like this with kindness, honesty and class.
In today’s brand new MarieTV episode, learn three ways you can deal with curious competitors — specifically when you’re not comfortable opening your kimono.
listen to this episode on the marie forleo podcast
Subscribe to The Marie Forleo Podcast
View Transcript
This is my intro in my kimono, don't you know. What was that?
Hey, it's Marie Forleo and you are watching Marie TV, the place to be if you want to create a business and life you love and this is Q and A Tuesday. Yes it is. Today's question comes from Jessica and Jessica writes, "Hi Marie. What are your thoughts about being approached by the competition? I want to be supportive of other people in my industry, but I also get the sense that they're fishing for info on ways to copy me. I find myself doing things like liking their Facebook page or sending them a client that might be a better match for them than me, with zero reciprocity. Other times I find myself feeling very cautious about how I answer questions. When I do what comes naturally, which is to openly share, I end up feeling like I'd been had. If I do what I think I should do as a business person, I end up feeling competitive and guilty. How do I protect myself while still supporting others in my industry?"
Great question, Jessica. I know it can be tough trying to figure out who you can really share things with and who you really need to keep a safe distance from. You're going to have to use your intuition here and make decisions on a case by case basis, but I will say, from experience, there are going to be awesome people in your industry that you can share your whole life with and all of your business secrets, and then others, not so much. Here are three smart ways to deal with your curious competitors, especially when you don't feel comfortable showing them your goodies.
Number one, create a public FAQ. If you start to get a bunch of the same questions over and over, you should create an FAQ page on your website that you can direct your competitors to. For example, fashion bloggers do this all the time and it's really effective. Those guys get bombarded with the same questions, like what camera do you use and what software do you use to create those cute little collages? And if you want to be really sassy, you can end the page with something like, if I haven't answered your question on this page, it's because it's part of my secret business sauce, which I'm sure you can understand.
Number two, just say no. Most of us forget this fact. We can say no. If some stranger walks up to you and asks you for your phone number, you don't have to give it to them. Similarly, if you're out and about, even if it's an acquaintance and they ask you for your email, you are not obliged to hand it over. Same thing goes for your business. If someone asks you about sensitive business information and you do not want to give it to them, pull a Nancy Reagan. Just say no.
No big production number. Just say-
No.
You'd be surprised how well it works.
No.
Of course you don't have to literally say no, but you can say something this. "I actually don't share that information. It's part of our business that's taken me a long time and a lot of resources to build."
Number three, three words, quid pro quo or this for that. I can do this and you can give me that. I can give you this and you can give me that. I can give you this and you can give him that. I can give you this because this is where it's at.
Ain't nothing wrong with a little exchange of value. You have something they want and you can trade it for something that you want. Not everything has to be a giveaway. Remember, it is a business. And if you're not sure about how to say it, try this. "You know I don't give away that information because it's taken me a long time and a lot of resources to figure out, but if you want to set up a consulting session, my fees start at X per hour."
One final thing, Jessica, you mentioned that you often do things for competitors and see zero reciprocity. I want you to remember this and yes, it's a tweetable.
When helping others don't look for a reward. If you're looking for a reward, don't help others. That was my A to your Q, Jessica. I hope it helps you keep what you know in your kimono.
Now I'd love to hear from you. How do you deal with your curious competitors? Come on, give me a little peek inside your kimono in the comments below.
As always, the best discussions happen after the episode over at marieforleo.com, so go there and leave a comment now.
Did you like this video? If so, subscribe and share it with your friends, and if you want even more great resources to create a business and life that you love, plus some personal insights from me that I only talk about in email, come on over to marieforleo.com and sign up for email updates.
Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams, because the world needs that special gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching and I'll catch you next time on Marie TV.
B-School is coming up. Want in? For more info and free training, go to joinbschool.com.
I keep my goodies in the jar and I keep my secrets in my kimono.
My goodies stay in my jar, y'all.
**Muy importante: In this episode, I’m offering Jessica — a specific person who wrote in her question — a variety of ways to handle the situations when sharing doesn’t feel right to her.
I’m not saying YOU should or should not open your kimono, so to speak.
You’ve got to respect your truth, always doing what feels best and most honest for you.
My sense is that you have a big heart and 99.9% of the time you love to be helpful and share everything you have with others.
And when and if you don’t — that’s OK too. Be able to honor where you’re at and respond to yourself, and others, with love.
Since this topic can be a toughie, I’d love to know how you deal with curious competitors.
Do you ever feel guilty, torn, ashamed or stingy by keeping things to yourself?
Leave a comment below and let me know.
Thanks as always for reading, watching and sharing. You rock my world!
With love,
xox