Archive for the Living In The Moment
Confession: I’ve got goosebumps as I write this…
Why? Because I’ve been quietly working on something that I’ve been wanting to do for a LONG time. And it’s finally ready, but before I tell you about it, I want to share a simple, healing idea.
Just this morning I was at Yoga class here in Sag Harbor and I realized something profound:
We human beings need presence and connection. Our bodies, minds and souls long to be connected to one another and connected to the deeper intelligence of life itself.
When we are truly present, something in and around us is healed and energized. It doesn’t require effort or strain. Only guidance,
attention and if you’re lucky, a loving community.
When you have those three things, life becomes sweet. Stress, worry, and “drama” naturally fall away. What’s left is your brilliance. You can interact with any situation with clarity and compassion. You also enjoy an expanded ability to create, enjoy and make a difference in the world. It’s wonderfully ordinary and profoundly extraordinary all at once!
Discovering how to live in this state of presence has truly been the most powerful thing I’ve ever learned in my life.
And now, I’d like to invite YOU to join me on this exciting adventure and bring the power of presence into your own life.
Interested? If so, learn more about what I’ve been working on here. If you’ve been itching for a fun, affordable way to work with me and launch into an entirely new way of living, here’s your chance. I’d love to have you join us!
Millions of people are learning about the benefits of living in the now. From eliminating stress to a total life transformation, it’s the key to a treasure chest of riches. The problem is it often seems impossible to implement. But like any muscle that strenthes with exercise, your ability to be present gets stronger with practice. And the result? A dramatic and rapid increase in not only your personal well-being, but your business growth too. Living in the moment helps you get the right things done faster, tap into your full business potential and connect more authentically to your clients and staff.
Here are 7 tips that will help you start flexing your “in the moment” muscle right now:
1. Do Practice
The first step to being in the moment is to notice where your attention is. If you’re thinking about anything else other than what’s you’re doing right now, stop. Take a breath. Relax your shoulders. Gently redirect your attention and fully engage with what you’re doing. This is especially important when you’re in the presence of other people. There is no greater gift to offer than your full, undivided attention. And don’t beat yourself up if being present consistently is challenging at first. The trick is to simply catch when you’ve drifted off into your thoughts and bring yourself back to be fully where you’re at.
2. Don’t Think About It
One of the biggest mistakes people make when it comes to living in the moment is trying to “think” thir way into it. Unfortuantly, you can’t “think” your way into being present. It’s just something that happens when you get fully engaged in what’s hpapening around you. As Nike says, “Just do it!” HINT: The fastest way to pull yourself into the current moment is to bring enthusiasm and energy to whatever you’re doing right now.
3. Do Get Coaching and Support
Why re-invent the wheel? You’ll learn any new skill 100 times faster by getting a good teacher. The world’s top performers, athletes and business moguls wouldn’t dream of not having people to coach them and help them grow. And while working with someone personally will get the best results, learning comes in a variety of forms. Books, audio programs, and seminars are excellent support tools while friends with a shared commitment to living in the moment can aslo be a source of support and learning.
4. Don’t Be the “Enlightened” Snob
This is a biggie! When people first start to get the knack of being present, they can get snookered into a mind-generated ego trip of being an “enlightened” snob. And “enlightened” snob is someone who thinks she is better than other pople because of her new found awareness of the now. The funny part is that believing you are better than other pople is just the egoic mind sneaking in through the back door masquerading in a “spritiually conscious” dress! Don’t fall into this trap and remember that we’re all doing the very best we can.
5. Do Share It With Others
One of the best ways to master a skill set is to teach it to others. Even if it’s just one “live in the moment” strategy that’s wored for you, be generous and share what you’ve disovered. Most of us grossly underestimate the differenece we make int the world. We disocount our own expertise and assume everyone has the same knowledge that we do. So not true! What you have to say matters.Express yourself and give the gift of well-being.
6. Don’t Make It Another Belief System
Being presnt is not about adopting a new belief system. It’s about recogninzing reality and using practical tools to access a more rich and satisfying experienece of life. While there are principles that will support you in staying centered, they’re more like facts than rules. Much like being aware of gravity helps you avoid stepping off theedge of a cliff, the priniciples of living in the moment help you extricate yourself from stress, overwhelm and upset.
7. Do Have Fun
One of the easiest ways to strengthen your ability to live in the moment is to have more fun.After all, the middle worked in enlightenment is light. One of the strategies that helps me stay centered is to have a sense of humor about everything! This is especially helpful when my mind feels “justified” about getting frustrated. (i.e. Like when my computer acts wonky when I’m working on deadline.) I’ve recognized that 99% of the stress and worry I’ve put myself through is optional. Everything always works out and whether or not I enjoy the ride is up to me.
If you’ve been getting excited about the new “Sex and the City” movie, this is for you. In fact, if you’re a big SATC fan, you’ll remember the classic “Modelizer” episode from Season 1.
The modelizer is the crazy character who would only date models. Guess what? Yours truly landed the “Modelizer”… and I’m not even a model!
The lesson here is no matter who you are or where you live, there are easy ways to boost your irresistible charm. Here are six secrets that helped me land the man of my dreams:
1. Quit Complaining
Many women spend more time complaining about men than actually dating them! Want to turbo boost your irresistibility factor? Be a complaint free zone. That means no complaining about the weather, your job, your body or anything else - whether aloud or in your thoughts.
2. Burn Your Perfect Man Checklist
If you can’t find a guy with the right job, age, income, ethnicity or hair color, chances are you’ve fallen victim to using a Perfect Man Checklist. You know… a list of criteria any man must have before you’ll even consider dating him. The problem with the Perfect Man Checklist is that it’s often an unconscious compilation of ideals and mental pictures of “perfect men” we absorbed growing up. These narrow parameters from our past cut us off from boatloads of loving, single and available men that could be fantastic partners today.
*NOTE: Burning your Perfect Man Checklist does NOT mean your man won’t have the qualities you want (like honesty, loyalty or a sense of humor). It just means he may show up in a different “package” than you expect.
3. Ignite Your Naughty Factor
In the midst of our busy, fast-paced lives, women’s sex lives can often take a back seat. It’s essential for our spiritual and emotional well-being to keep our “sexy” in shape. The way to wake up our sensual irresistibility is to proactively ignite our naughty factor. Take a pole dancing class, wear sexy underwear to work, or buy some erotic fiction. Find ways to strengthen your naughty muscles and stay in irresistible sexual shape.
4. Date for Fun - Not to Find “The One”
These days, dating is often full of pressure and anxiety. Let go of trying to find “Mr. Right” and make FUN the focus of each date (what a concept!). Have an adventure. Laugh. Be silly. Let your true irresistible nature shine through. Remember, on any date you can either be miserable or have a good time. The choice is always yours. *NOTE: This FUN idea applies to couples too!
5. Chuck The Rules
I say rules, shmules. Most dating rules are either someone else’s truth that you’ve adopted as your own OR they’re an old decision you made in the past when you were upset. Either way, rules pollute the present moment with obsolete information from our past. Know this: you can break every rule in the book when you are centered, clear and in touch with your authentic irresistibility.
6. Be Present
Be fully present in whatever you’re doing. This is especially true on dates. Turn off your iPhone, Blackberry or cell phone unless it’s absolutely necessary to keep it on. Give the man you’re with the divine gift of your full, undivided attention. There is nothing more irresistible than a vibrantly alive, fully present woman.
The real secret to being irresistible is to be completely and unapologetically you, exactly as you are.
Most of us grossly underestimate our intrinsic beauty and the powerful difference we make in the world. Trust me, you are more beautiful, attractive and irresistible than you’ll ever know.
Wouldn’t it be nice to have perfect days, every day?
As it turns out, it’s not as impossible as some people might think.
Here’s the secret: each day already is perfect. The trick is to become aware of what you do, or don’t do, that gets in the way of experiencing it! In fact, I’m about to share 5 powerful ways you can start having perfect days…starting right now!
1. Surrender to what is.
Having a perfect day is directly related how well you can surrender to what is. Here’s what I mean. Whatever is, already is. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a thought, sensation, feeling or external circumstance. If your printer breaks, your flight is cancelled or you feel bloated from eating too much Chinese food - if the situation already exists in this moment, what’s the use in arguing against it? There is none. Make no mistake: surrendering to what is doesn’t mean that you won’t take action when appropriate. You’ll just skip the typical “inner fight with life” meltdown that gets in the way of your perfect days.
2. Lighten up. Really.
Do you ever notice how serious you get about life? Whether it’s relationship drama, money woes or finding a parking spot, most of us contract like a sphincter the moment life shows up a bit different than we expect. And incase you haven’t noticed, life doesn’t care how you expect it to go. Really. Life does it’s own thing. And let’s not forget, we all end up the same way: dead. Not to be morbid, but since we already know the ultimate outcome, we might as well have a good time while we’re here, right? And frankly, most people I know who have a sense of lightheartedness about life are making a much bigger difference in the world than those who are seriously trying to get through it.
3. Quit complaining.
Is the weather too warm today? Or did someone not return your email fast enough? Most of us complain so frequently and automatically, we have no awareness we’re even doing it! The problem is complaining about anything is a surefire way to un-perfect your day. One important caveat: there’s a big difference between complaining and commenting. When you complain, you victimize yourself. There’s a whiny, negative energy to your communication. When you comment, however, you state an observation in a neutral way. There is no “pity party” or energetic “dig” against another person when you offer a genuine comment.
4. Be dominated.
No, not in that kind of way, naughty girl! Simply stated: Our lives make requests of us each and every day. The phone rings. The dishwasher needs to be unloaded. Taxes must be paid. You can either resist being dominated by what your life is requesting of you OR you can enthusiastically be dominated by your life! I suggest the latter. By allowing yourself to be enthusiastically dominated by what you have to do, you actually get way more done and life begins to run very smoothly too.
5. Make wherever you are the place to be.
Isn’t it wild how often our minds disagree with where we are? No matter where we find ourselves, we think we should be somewhere else. When we’re at home, we’re thinking we should be at work. When we’re at work, we’re thinking we should be at home. What if the secret to having a perfect day is to make a simple shift so that wherever you are is always the right place to be? Because after all, you can only be where you are in any given moment of now. Why not make where you are the place to be?
By using these tips to have “perfect days,” not only will you have more well-being, but your business and bottom line will grow as well.
Photo originally uploaded by miszbabykiss
I’m honored to have spoken at Joe Polish’s recent “Success With Sanity” event in Tempe, Arizona. It was a fabulous event for entrepreneurs who wanted tools and strategies to grow successful businesses and have successful lives.
Here I am with Joe after my presentation. My crazy but genius friend has a huge heart and the most incredible knack for putting great people together. True to form, Joe provided tons of great content and off-beat entertainment. My favorite was a cute, but weird little flying monkey that he launched around like a sling shot during random times at the event. Never a dull moment with Joe! 
Here I am with Dr. Ned Hallowell. Ned is a Harvard-trained psychiatrist (who incidentally, has also taught at Harvard University) and is considered to be the world’s foremost ADD/ADHD expert. He’s also the best selling author of the book “CrazyBusy: Overbooked, Overstretched and About to Snap”
And finally, here I am with fellow presenter David Kekich. David is President of the Maximum Life Foundation and gave an amazing presentation on life extension. Dave obviously follows his own advice because he’s 65 and looks more like 45. The science he shared is truly mind-blowing!
I don’t know about you, but I absolutely LOVE spring flowers!
This year I started early and planted a lovely mix of pansies, hyacinths, ivy and daffodils. I also learned somthing cool from the gardner at the Union Square Farmer’s Market.
Did you know that pansies are actually very hardy plants? They happily survive a frost and apparently do well in the cold, wet April weather. I found that quite ironic given their delicate name and demeanor :).
If you’re looking for a business excuse to get some green going your own home, know this: In the ancient Chinese art of placement called Feng Shui, live plants and flowers not only improve air quality and connect us with nature, but the green of the plants also encourages personal and business growth!
(Plus, whenever I check out cool decorating mags like Domino, I notice fresh flowers in just about every shot.)
So if you’re out and about this weekend, pick up some fresh flowers and let me know how it goes. A little green goes a long way!
Do you ever wonder if all the stuff I write and teach about living in the moment really works?
If you have any interest AT ALL in learning how to get the most out of your life, please watch this video immediately.
The description below is directly from the TED site:
“Neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor had an opportunity few brain scientists would wish for: One morning, she realized she was having a massive stroke.
As it happened — as she felt her brain functions slip away one by one, speech, movement, understanding — she studied and remembered every moment. This is a powerful story about how our brains define us and connect us to the world and to one another.”
What do YOU think about this? Are you ready to use more of your “right” brain? Leave your comments and let’s start a conversation.
Here’s some great pictures from a recent white water rafting trip in Costa Rica. I’m here with my man Josh and my friends Dave and Fernanda. I call this one “sexy arms” because…well…when you’re working your paddle like this, your arms look sexy! But I must say, it’s tough look really hot with a frickin’ yellow helmet on. LOL 
Here’s a shot of the four of us with our guide, Fabian. I’m squeezing my eyes shut here…trying to keep my contacts from popping out!
OK. This shot is just too damn cool. (FYI, It looks much more daring and dangerous than it actually was.)
That’s it for now! I’ll have more Costa Rica pictures up soon…
Have you ever gotten stuck being “reasonable” about life?
A few weeks ago I almost got snookered. Here’s what happened.
I was speaking to a group of entrepreneurs about productivity and well-being at a conference in Walt Disney World, Orlando Florida. I was thrilled to share the power of transformation as it relates to productivity, wealth and well-being.
Being a gal who likes to balance business and pleasure, I built fun time into the last day of my trip. Since my flight back to NYC wasn’t until 5PM, I had time for rollercoasters and Mickey before heading home.
On Sunday morning I woke up at 8:30AM and headed down to the concierge desk to find out my options.
Two weeks ago, my good friend Kendra Todd and I had an absolute BLAST having a multi-day girl’s retreat at my beach house in Sag Harbor, NY. (You may recognize Kendra as the first fabulous female to win Donald Trumps, “The Apprentice”.) I told Kendra I wanted to take her to a transformational yoga class at Yoga Shanti in Sag Harbor. At first she resisted because apparently, her only yoga experience was with some not-so-hot yoga teachers.
I’m not a gal who easily takes “no” for an answer so I coaxed my friend into down dog with some of her favorite morning coffee and a promise that if she really didn’t like it, I wouldn’t make her go back.
Thankfully, she trusted me enough to give yoga another try and walked away LOVING it! We went two days in a row and she rocked it out. I’ll tell you, when it comes to learning ANYTHING new, it all comes down to having the **right teacher**!!
